One of the ways in which a woman may endear herself to her husband is by sharing his joys and sorrows. So she joins him in some of his pastimes, and his daily work, such as reading, exercise, and attending useful talks and gatherings, and so on, so that her husband will feel that he is not alone in his enjoyment of the good things in life, but that he is sharing these pleasures with a loving, intelligent and loyal wife.
The fact that the Prophet (peace be upon him) raced with ‘Aa’ishah more than once indicates the fact that Islaam urges both spouses to share their partner’s joy and happiness in life, because this sharing will have a powerful effect in deepening their feelings for one another and strengthening the bonds between them.
Just as she shares his joys, so she also shares his worries and concerns, and comes to him with kind words of consolation, mature and sensible advice and sincere emotional support.
Further, the true Muslim woman is always obedient to her husband, provided that no sin is involved. She is respectful towards him and is always eager to please him and make him happy and if he is poor, she does not complain about his being unable to spend much.
She does not complain about her housework, because she remembers that many of the virtuous women in Islamic history set an example of patience, goodness and a positive attitude in serving their husbands and taking care of their homes despite the poverty and hardships they faced.
One of the foremost of these exemplary wives is Fatimah az-Zahraa’, the daughter of Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and the wife of ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib (may Allah be pleased with him). She used to complain of the pain in her hands caused by grinding grain with the hand-mill. Her husband ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib said to her one day,
“Your father has brought some female slaves, so go and ask him for one of them to come and serve you.”
She went to her father, but she felt too shy to ask him for what she wanted. ‘Ali went and asked him to provide a servant for his beloved daughter, but the Prophet could not respond to those who most dear to him whilst ignoring the needs of the poor among the Muslims, so he came to his daughter and her husband and said, “Shall I not teach you something that is better than that for which you asked me? When you go to bed at night, say ‘Subhaan Allah’ thirty-three times, ‘Al-hamdu lillaah’ thirty-three times, and ‘Allahu akbar’ thirty-four times. This is better for you than a servant.” (Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 64.)