It never ceases to amaze me that Allaah can inspire so much fear in our hearts when we reflect on His supremacy, yet his mercy is equally as vast as His dominion. Allaah tells us in a Hadith Qudsi (sacred narration of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): "O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you" (Al-Tirmidhi). Subhaan'Allaah (Glory be to Allaah) there is no limit to Allaah's forgiveness, even though our mistakes are numerous.
But what's disheartening is how seldom we are able to forgive each other and how often we are impetuously intolerant toward one another. Islaam teaches us that the strongest of servants are those who not only have the strength to suppress their anger when they are tested but also possess an immeasurable capacity to forgive. The Prophet ﷺ said that: "Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), God will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins" (Al-Tirmidhi). If we can sincerely forgive those who anger us, inwardly and outwardly, then that cleanses our souls from the shaytaan (satan) and his negative energy. It is important to disregard vain criticisms and this is the first step toward being tolerant. Of course, this is not done without difficulty because it is hard to understand why those who have caused us grievances wanted to do so in the first place. But this is where the battle with our inner self can take a positive turn and allow us to elevate our imaan (faith). This inner struggle is what the Prophet ﷺ called "The Greater Jihad" because it involves tolerance and fighting the evil within ourselves in order to purify our hearts. This is always done for the sake of Allaah and to purify our spiritual conditions.
Islaam also teaches us that the best kind of forgiveness is answering the oppression of others with kindness. Abu Hurayra (may Allaah be pleased with him) said, "A man came to the Prophet, may Allaah bless him and grant him peace, and said, 'Messenger of Allaah! I have relatives with whom I maintain ties while they cut me off. I am good to them while they are bad to me. They behave foolishly towards me while I am forbearing towards them.' The Prophet said, 'If things are as you said, it is as if you were putting hot ashes on them and you will not lack a supporter against them from Allaah as long as you continue to do that.'" (Adab Al-Mufrad)
The Prophet ﷺ and his companions were so merciful in their conduct that instead of becoming angry with their offenders, they defended them and gave them gifts. What immeasurable acts of compassion. They went beyond human altruism and practiced unmatched generosity. They demonstrated that when we open our hearts and pardon others, we are granting ourselves an inner peace. This is how we can prevent spite from suffocating our hearts, which is crucial because hatred has the ability to make us internally ill. We think that hatred is a means of revenge against those who have harmed us, but by begrudging them we are only harming ourselves. This is because our enemies will never feel our anger, and they live contently as we suffer. When we forgive others, it brings relief to our souls because it is a kind of liberating release. This is because when someone has upset us, they have a power over us because we allowed them to do so.
Life is short. Let us not waste our energy on being angry at our enemies and seeking revenge against them. If we can progressively minimize our spite every day, then soon we will bear no hatred or malice in our hearts, inshaa'Allaah (God willing). This is how we can end conflict amongst ourselves, since it is a day to day issue we face. After all, sometimes our own actions can provoke another person's wrong doings and we may not be aware of how we contributed to the conflict. We tend to judge the faults of others, while being blind to our own. We forget how we have wronged others, and we only remember how others have wronged us. In the same manner, we forget the good things that others have done for us, and remember only the good that we have done for them. It is an innate human error. But let us try to remember our own shortcomings before we reflect on the shortcomings of others. Let us stop victimizing ourselves and think about how we have victimized others, and then seek their forgiveness. And if they ask our forgiveness, let us always grant it to them. Because the Prophet ﷺ taught us that: "Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy" (Al-Bukhari). And we must keep in mind that however we treat others is how Allaah will treat us - And Allaah knows best.
So inshaa'Allaah when someone hurts us, let us try to meet their oppression with kindness and forgive them, even if they are not so sorry.