THE IDEAL MUSLIMAH

Although the following advice is for brothers, it paints a beautiful picture of what a wife should truly be like...

By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you.

When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'aan's verse which says, "They are your garments and you are their garments."^{Surah Al Baqarah 2:187}

Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that it is an act of Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aalaa), "And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..."^{Surah Al Nahl 16:72}

Only our Almighty Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aalaa) in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aalaa) is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect."^{Surah Al Rum 30:21}

But Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aalaa) knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aalaa) is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aalaa) will always result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wasallam) even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough!  Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses^{Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70} and offsprings.

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References

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• Pearls Of Wisdom: Advice for the Bride