THE IDEAL MUSLIMAH

1. Start by choosing the right spouse (Qur'aan, Surah Nur: 34)

2. Efforts must be exerted to correct any defects in a spouse once married. Develop the family spiritually. Remember Allah often. (Qur'aan, Surah Nur: 87)

3. Inculcate Imaan (faith) in the children. Follow the Sunnah and read the Qur'aan regularly especially Surah al-Baqarah (Chapter 2). Take care of your family's education. Teach your spouse and children. Set up both book and audio-visual libraries. Invite good people to visit your home (Qur'aan, Surah Nuh: 28).

4. Treat your family as a small social unit. Establish Shoora (counsel) by discussing family matters with your spouse and children. Some problems amicably and within the family. Children should not be allowed to see differences or conflicts between the parents. Exchange visits with good families. (Qur'aan, Surah Nur: 61)

5. Guard jealously. Have privacy of your home (Qur'aan, Surah Nur: 23, 28, 53).

6. Keep family secrets within your home.

7. Exercise control. Monitor what the children are doing.

8. Make sure that the family follows fixed meal and sleep times.

9. All children of the family should co-operate in the household work.

10. Joke and have some fun and humor with the members of your family.

11. Avoid waste and extravagance. Waste leads to poverty.

12. Do not live a life of hyperconsumerism. Buy only what you need. It's even advisable to buy less than what you think your needs are, because you often over-estimate those needs. Resist temptation to always 'want' things.

13. Do not try to show off or compete.

14. Avoid debts. A debt is an instrument of enslavement.

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1. Religion is basis for family formation (Qur'aan, Chapter 2: 221).

2. Family relations are based on marriage and blood (Qur'aan, Chapter 25: 54).

3. Family is a source of tranquility (Qur'aan, Chapter 25: 74).

4. Husband is the head of the family (Qur'aan, Chapter 4: 34).

5. Wife is a leader in her home. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, 'All of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards, The ruler is a guardian and the man is a guardian of his family; the lady is a guardian who is responsible for her husband's house and his offspring; and so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your wards.' (Bukhari 7:98 hadith #128)

6. You have a duty to save your family (Qur'aan, Chapter 66: 1, 3-6).

7. Kindness for the young; respect for the old. Amr bin Shuayb relates on the authority of his father who heard it from his father, that the Prophet (may peace be upon him) said, "A person who has no compassion for our children and does not honor our elders is not from us." (Abu Daud, Tirmidhi and Riyadh 1:217, hadith #355)

8. Expenditure on family is sadaqah (charity). The Prophet (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "When a muslim spends something on his family intending to receive Allah's reward it is regarded as sadaqah for him." (Bukhari 7:201, hadith #263)

9. Justice takes precedence over family (Qur'aan, Chapte 4: 135)

10. Financial security. 'Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated, that the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to sell the dates of the garden of Banoo an-Nadheer and he would also store for his family so much food, as much as would cover their needs for a whole year.' (Bukhari 7:204, hadith # 270)