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Happiness. It’s the term thrown around more often than any other term when people are asked what they are looking for in life. A loving partner, a fun high-paying job and endless world travel are also amongst some of the most common answers, however all of these are preference-based means to the one ultimate end, which is happiness. Being so sought-after, I thought I’d comprise a list of common traits that seem to be found in happy people -and I’m talking about the genuinely happy people, and not just those who appear to be so on the surface.

By compiling this list I’m not suggesting that these are the only keys to happiness, I’m simply shedding light on some common characteristics I’ve come to find.

1. Love Themselves For Who They Are
On the surface this may sound incredibly egotistical, but by it I simply mean that they are truly comfortable in their own shoes. They accept and embrace themselves physically, they maintain their true character traits regardless of whether or not they receive approval and they work to make the best of the human experience they are living -rather than wallow in what others would define as weaknesses or shortcomings.

2. See Relationships As An Extension To, Rather Than The Basis Of The Human Experience
Relationships, whether friendly, familial or romantic, are certainly one of the greatest parts of the human experience. However, far too many of us let their presence or absence, and even more so the value we attribute to them dictate our overall happiness in life. I’ve found that genuinely happy people tend to find complete contentment within themselves, and see all relationships as the awesome extension to their self-content. It’s often when we are not looking for others to fill a particular void, or to make us feel a certain way, that most of the truest and most-valuable relationships are formed.

3. Embrace Change
Life is a constant lesson and happy people tend to be well-aware of that. Not only are they always open to change, but they truly listen to suggestions, respect and consider all opinions and take criticism constructively rather than offensively.

4. Celebrate Rather Than Compare Themselves To The Accomplishments Of Others
Jealousy is a killer, and as Gary Allan once said,

“You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.”

We are all capable of accomplishing anything in this life and are the only ones that are going to find the drive within ourselves to do it. Rather than observe and compare to those who have accomplished, the truly happy tend to celebrate it and use it as motivation to accomplish things within their own lives.

5. Never Dwell In Being A Victim
We’ve all been the so-called ‘victim’ to several things in life. Whether it be an unexpected break-up, getting fired from a job, or even something as serious as the recipient of domestic abuse. Truly happy people tend to be those who choose not to dwell in it. They choose to let the victimization strengthen them, rather than wear it as a badge of weakness or as the thing that makes them consistently worthy of receiving sympathy.

6. They Live In The Present
As fun as reminiscing about the past or fantasizing about the future can be, nothing will ever be done in anything but the present and happy people tend to realize that. Not only do they realize it, but they tend to use it as motivation to make the most of it. In addition to being motivating, presence can also come in handy for truly appreciating those moments of relaxation, allowing yourself to be truly in them, rather than projecting future concerns into them.

7. Trust That Everything Happens For A Reason
This can very easily be paired with the choice to not be a victim, but happy people tend to trust the process and existence of everything in their life. They know that nothing is ever too big to handle and choose to embrace what life is currently throwing at them rather than cowering at the sight of it.

8. They Don’t Let Money Dictate Their Lives
Nobody is denying that in this world right now we all need money to exist, and as a result many of us spend the bulk of our lives doing things that help us earn it. What I’ve found to differentiate happy people is that they don’t let money be the ultimate dictator in their life. They still make sensible choices within their means, but they never let money:

A) prevent them from pursuing a so-called “risky” passion,

B) be the factor that is blamed for why their life is so miserable,

C) complain about how little they have.

There are creative ways to do everything in this world, and seeing money as only being possible to make in the standard ways is the most crippling thing to that creativity.

9. Look Within For Solutions
One of the most powerful realizations a genuinely happy person will often operate based on is “change starts within.” The empowerment that comes as a result of not only realizing this but even more so in using it as the backbone to everything in life can be quite remarkable. There are thousands of books, mantras, techniques and practices out there that can all help us to find solutions to so many things in life, but they all require one thing to truly be serviceable: the consciousness to support them.

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Shaykh 'Uthaimeen (rahimahullaah) gives the solution to sadness, depression and grief:

"Indeed the Legislation orders us to keep away from everything which causes regret. Allaah سبحانه said:

"Secret counsels (conspiracies) are only from Satan, in order that he may cause grief to the believers. But he cannot harm them in the least, except as Allaah permits." [Mujaadilah, 58:10]

And Allaah تعالى only told us this so that we keep away from it, it was not merely a piece of information telling us that the Devil wants to cause us grief, no, what is meant is that we keep away from everything which causes grief. And for this reason the Prophet ﷺ said, "When there are three people, two should not converse together to the exclusion of the third." [Agreed upon]

So everything which brings about sadness in a person is forbidden ...

The Prophet ﷺ ordered a person who saw a dream that he disliked to dry-spit to his left three times and seek Allaah's Refuge from its evil and the evil of the Devil and to then turn to the other side [to sleep on] and not to tell anyone about it and to perform ablution and pray—all of this so that a person can drive away all of these things [grief etc.] ...

And that is why the Companions said that we used to see dreams and become ill because of them, but when the Prophet of Allaah ﷺ told us this hadith ... i.e., they relaxed and no worry remained.

So the Legislator wants us to avoid everything which brings about worry, grief, and sadness, and for this reason Allaah تعالى said:

"So whosoever intends to perform Hajj therein then he should not have sexual relations (with his wife), nor commit sin, nor dispute unjustly during the Hajj." [Baqarah 2:197]

Because disputes make a person defend himself and his thoughts change for the sake of the argumentation, and he will became worried and it will distract him from worship.

The point is: Always keep in mind the fact that Allaah عزوجل wants you to be happy all the time, far from grief.

And in reality a person has three situations:

1. A past situation;
2. A present;
3. Aa future one.

The Past

A person forgets the past and the worry that it had because it and what it contained is over, if it was a calamity, then say:

اللهُمَّ أَجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي، وَأَخْلِفْ لِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا

"O Allaah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it," [Muslim]

...and forget about it.

And for this reason He forbade wailing over the dead, why? Because it renews the grief and reminds one of it.

The Future

As for the future, its knowledge is with Allaah عزوجل, rely on Allaah and when issues come to you then seek their solution, but those things which the Legislator has ordered you to prepare for then prepare for them.

The Present

It is the present time which it is possible for you to deal with, try to keep away from everything that causes worry, grief and sadness so that you can always be relaxed and have an open breast, dedicating yourself to Allaah and worshipping Him and [dedicating yourself] to your worldly affairs and those connected to the Hereafter.

When you try this, you will relax.

As for tiring yourself over what has passed or worrying about the future in a manner the legislation has not allowed, then know that [if you do so] you will become exhausted and lose out on much good."

Source: Fathu Dhil-Jalaali wal-Ikraam bi Sharh Bulughil-Maraam, vol. 3, pp. 532-533.

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She opens her wardrobe. Two dozen dresses— red, yellow, orange, pink, and you-name-it— are hanging there. After a cursory glance, she bangs the door shut.

"Mom, I have nothing to wear for the party," she whines. "I've been begging you to take me shopping for ages— you never listen to me! What do I do now?"

He's rummaging in the fridge for the fourth time. Pizza, chocolate, ice-cream, fruits, and juices are stuffed inside. He closes the door despondently and leaves the kitchen, saying, "There's nothing much to eat in here. Let's go to the café and get some decent food."

She wakes up with the same feelings of depression and dread that she's been experiencing every morning. Thoughts of suicide are again floating in her mind. She's married to a handsome man and has two lovely kids, a home, and a car— everything most women would ask for. Apparently, life is perfect, but something is missing; she's just not married to the man of her dreams.

He's seventeen years old. He has an iPhone, Core I-7 Dell, and 1000 bucks monthly pocket money, but according to him his life sucks. He can't focus on his textbook. He slams it shut and starts pacing the room as he thinks aloud: "If my friend can own a Jaguar, why the hell can't I? Everything sucks."

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?

The Ingratitude Habit

As we grow up, we get tuned to be ungrateful, to be blind to the blessings in our lives. We focus all our energy and attention on looking for what's lacking in our lives. This is really ironic, because the more we focus on scarcity, the more we tend to attract it.

How to Become a Black Hole of Despair

Research has proven that our thoughts and emotions emit powerful signals, and that these signals have the ability to attract signals of the same frequency! In other words, whenever you're ungrateful or have negative, self-defeating thoughts (for example, I never seem to have enough of money, or I can never be healthy, or I'll never find a practicing husband) or worry about issues beyond your control, you're actually emitting energies that will attract similar energies. Ultimately, you'll end up becoming a black hole of despair. All the worries, arguments, and frustration just lead to more of the same.

Want to try to attract more peace, joy, harmony, ease, and prosperity? Choose your thoughts consciously and carefully.

Open Secrets in the Quran

Today non-Muslim researchers have discovered these secrets in the name of natural laws, while these "open secrets" were given to us in the Quran 1400 years ago. Psychologists and philosophers have painstakingly conducted research and come up with new theories and ideas. All this "newly discovered" stuff was presented to us in the Quran in no uncertain terms. Allah (swt) promises us: If you are grateful, I'll give you more.

And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.' [Quran, 14:7]

This is a ready-made formula for attracting more of what you want in life.

Surah Al-Faatihah: A Pillar's Pillar

It is well-known that prayer, the important pillar of Islam, is incomplete without Surah Fatihah. Surah Fatihah begins with expressing our gratitude to our Lord for the countless blessings He has showered upon us.

Have you ever noticed that a lot of duas taught by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also start with the same expression of gratitude— alhamdulillah? The day starts with the supplication Alhmdulillahilazi ahyana... (All praise and thanks be to the one who gave us life.)

Allah (swt) wants you to start your day in a super-charged state, attracting ample happiness and abundance in life.

The meal ends with the supplication Alhmdulillahizli at'amana wa sakana . . .(All praise and thanks be to the one who gave us food and drink). Why? Because He always wants you to have better food every time you eat. The same expression— alhamdulillah; it's not a coincidence, is it?

Getting Back on Track

Gratitude is one of the quickest ways to regain our focus. When we feel stuck it means we're giving too much attention to something that doesn't really deserve it. Most so-called problems are usually mundane preoccupations and mental obsessions. We focus so much on one area to the exclusion of everything else that we create and thus magnify our problems.

Surprisingly, when we focus so much on what's not working, we can't even access the part of our brain that provides us with solutions. So, when something is not working, we should focus on what is working and say alhmdulillahi rabbil 3lameen aloud.

What do you think you're doing by saying this? You're freeing your mind from those thoughts that bog you down and reinforcing strong, positive beliefs that even if some areas are not working in life, others definitely are. In this way, you're able to think in a quicker and better way to resolve what's not working in life. Try it out!

It's reported that some of the companions of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) were even grateful for the calamities they faced and presented their gratitude to Allah (swt) for not letting something worse befall them. Now that's the attitude of gratitude!

Being grateful to Allah (swt) does wonders. When you'll acknowledge His hand in your life, miracles will happen. You'll be in the middle of a problem, not knowing what might happen next, and suddenly the solution will dawn upon you. You might be in dire need of money and someone might, for example, return to you an old loan that you completely forgot about. Or you might be missing your loved ones and they give you a call right then.

We usually ignore many things that are readily available to us and need a big reason to be grateful. Our family, friends, body, health, job, leisure time, education, food, wisdom, smiles, children, and even the painful lessons that life teaches us (and the list goes on) are huge blessings to be grateful for. If you don't have the same feeling, just close your eyes and imagine one of these blessings vanishing from your life. How does that feel? This is exactly the reason you need to be thankful each day, every moment.

All of us need a bit of fine tuning, so below are some tools that I am sharing with you to enable you to be grateful to Him and let the magic unfold.

Essential Tools for a Grateful Life:

1). Make a list of twenty things you appreciate right now. Write alhamdullilah in front of every blessing. Make a list of the things you feel good about and why you're grateful for that thing, situation, or person in your life. How did you feel doing this? Here's the good news: you just increased your positive emissions and now you are actually able to attract more happiness, abundance, and prosperity in your life.

2). Start looking for everything you can be grateful for in life and start talking about it all the time no matter how insignificant it is. If you find a buck from your old shirt's pocket, celebrate. Go around and tell everyone how grateful you are for that. That's how you are actually tuning your mind to show gratitude for tiniest blessing in your life.

3). Try to seek the positive in every negative. Take out at least three good lessons from every painful experience and be grateful that life threw that situation at you so that you could learn.

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*Interesting Read: WOMEN SPEAKERS ADDRESSING MIXED GATHERINGS.

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A young, new Ustaadh (teacher) was walking with an older, more seasoned Ustaadh in the garden one day. Feeling a bit insecure about what Allaah had for him to do, he was asking the older Ustaadh for some advice. The older Ustaadh walked up to a rosebush and handed the young Ustaadh a rosebud and told him to open it without tearing off any petals. The young Ustaadh looked in disbelief at the older Ustaadh and was trying to figure out what a rosebud could possibly have to do with his wanting to know the will of Allaah for his life and ministry.

But because of his great respect for the older Ustaadh, he proceeded to try to unfold the rose, while keeping every petal intact... It wasn't long before he realized how impossible this was to do. Noticing the younger Ustaadh's inability to unfold the rosebud without tearing it, the older Ustaadh began to recite the following poem...

"It is only a tiny rosebud,
A flower of Allah's design;
But I cannot unfold the petals
With these clumsy hands of mine.

The secret of unfolding flowers
Is not known to such as I.
Allaah opens this flower so sweetly,
Then in my hands they die.

If I cannot unfold a rosebud,
This flower of Allaah's design,
Then how can I have the wisdom
To unfold this life of mine?

So I'll trust in Allaah for leading
Each moment of my day.
I will look to Allaah for His guidance
Each step of the way.

The pathway that lies before me,
Only Allaah knows.
I'll trust Him to unfold the moments,
Just as He unfolds the rose."

{Say: "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is our Mawla (protector)." And in Allah let the believers put their trust.} (Qur'aan, Surah Tawbah, Verse 51)

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Thinking positive can work miracles. You may have been told to "guard your thoughts", but felt the advice to be pointless. After all, your thoughts are private. How can they possibly affect someone else? The fact is, thoughts do seem to boomerang in some mysterious ways. Science has not found a way to measure them as they have invisible sound waves. In order to understand how positive thinking works, and how to use it efficiently, it is important to understand the power of negative thinking.

"Negative thoughts and tensions are like birds. We cannot stop them from flying near us but, we can certainly stop them from making a nest in our mind."

The mind can be directed towards positive thinking or negative thinking. The power of thought is a neutral power. The way one thinks determines whether the results are positive and beneficial or negative and harmful. It is the same of energy acting in different ways. Persistent inner work can change habits of thoughts. You must be willing to put energy and time to avoid negative thinking and pursue positive thinking, in order to change your mental attitude. Think of those things which are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, in other words, to fill your mind with noble, good thoughts, leaving no room for negative ones to take root.

The Noble Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) has reported that Allaah, The Most Wise, said: "I treat my servant as how he thinks of Me" (Bukhari &Muslim). In other words, Allaah Ta'ala treats His servant in the way how he thinks of Allaah, what he hopes from and how he sets his hopes on Allaah. So, those who come positive and with a great hope to the door of Mercy of the Almighty Creator will Inshaa'Allaah not return empty-handed.

The most powerful weapon you have at your disposal is Du'a (prayer). Use it and use it often. The basis of prayer is to lift us and situations to Almighty Allaah-- an inner act of visualisation. A further step is to contemplate on our beautiful teachings of Islaam -- this involves controlling and directing out thoughts. A simple way to think of this is to imagine your mind to be like a garden. That garden can be spoilt and overrun by negative, destructive thoughts (weeds), or it can become a place of peace and harmony by the cultivation of flowers (uplifting thoughts).

"Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers. Or you can grow weeds."

Are you prone to depression? Do you see your life as a hopeless mess... consider yourself a failure? If you do, then you will close your mind, see no opportunities, and behave and react in such ways, as to repel people and opportunities. You let the power of negative thinking rule your life. Try replacing such negative thoughts with positive ones. Talk to your beloved Allaah, Allaah does not create a lock without a key, and Allaah doesn't give you problems without its solutions. Trust HIM! While recognising these problems, picture yourself as mastering each one. Visualise yourself handling each situation creatively; being a success; gradually allowing your given potential to blossom.

The beloved Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) advised us if you look forward to good things, it will happen Inshaa'Allaah. Thinking positive is a very important element of Islaam. Always think that Allaah [s] has a plan for you, if something goes wrong, it will probably lead you to something good. HE is working things out for you, even if you don't feel it. Have faith and be thankful. Where faith and hope grows, miracles blossoms, Allaah- Akbar!

At first, this kind of thought control may seem like an inner game -- but you'll be surprised at how, slowly but surely, your outer circumstances begin to change.

For thought precedes action, and the right thoughts precede a chain of good actions.

Destructive thoughts, on the other hand, act as poisoning agents. They embitter and limit the thinker, preventing him or her from developing good relationships, because others sense the wrong thoughts telepathically, and shy away instinctively.

Conversely, if you greet people with the thought that they'll probably be nice to know, such a positive thought will affect their response. If you're afraid of someone, replace that fear with a thought which recognises that the person's given potential "core" is probably hidden under layers of unhappiness and wrong thinking. Silently pray for that person, and ask that his or her true self be given a chance to manifest.

A friend was once terribly upset because someone was spreading false rumours about her. She could not deny the rumour publicly. All she could do was:

Pray for the woman;

Try to think about her charitably;

Visualise her acting differently.

She did this consistently for some weeks. One day, unexpectedly, the woman phoned her to apologise and say she'd been mistaken, Subhaan-Allaah! It seemed like a miracle! But right thinking can work miracles... Life has many different chapters for us. One bad chapter doesn't mean the end of the book. Be positive and keep your faith in Allaah. Once we function in harmony with Allaah'S beautiful laws of love and forgiveness -- and this includes spreading good, true and beautiful thoughts -- our lives will flower as they were meant to.

"Think positive, Think different. Don't waste your precious energy on negative thoughts."

Decide that from today, from this very moment, you are leaving negative thinking behind, and starting on the way towards positive thinking and behaviour. It is never too late. Soon your life will turn into a fascinating, wonderful journey. Wake up every morning with the thought that something beautiful is about to happen. Let's welcome each day with a smile and bid farewell with a smile. We thank Allaah for HIS blessings. Take advantage of our positive energy and employ them in doing well in this life. Let's learn, read and after that, we will find the entire universe will extend to us it's heart and the whole world will hug us with its beauty... Subhaan-Allaah!

There is something beautiful in life. You just have to find it....be positive and it will find you!

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Too often we have a negative perception towards people who have some sort of mental or physical disability. We feel sorry for them. It goes to the extent that you may even think that they are not worth giving dawah to, not worth that invitation to Islam. May Allah forgive us all for that. Have we ever considered... maybe its a blessing?

Read what Abu Hafsah Abdul Malik Clare who was born without sight and embraced Islam in 1996 had to say:

I get asked this question in almost every city of every country I've ever been in. "What's it like to be blind?" I never get offended by this question, I think that if I were sighted I would probably ask the same question. My reply is: "I'm not blind, I just can't see." This answer gets a laugh from the crowd and a smile from myself but I've never actually liked that answer, it always sounded like a copout to me.

So, now, I'm going to try my best to answer that question in the best way that I know how. When I wasn't a Muslim, I didn't really think about my not being able to see too much, I just did what ever I wanted. After becoming a Muslim, I started to ponder that question and being asked it countless times I started to think, hmmm, how can I describe being blind? It would be easy to say, it's blackness all the time but I don't like that answer either.

After all, how do I know what blackness looks like. I've never been able to see so I have nothing to compare blackness to. I would describe it this way. Did you ever see an adult cover the eyes of a child when they want the child not to see something that isn't acceptable? Well, that's how I feel.

I feel like ALLAH covered my eyes from something unacceptable. Sometimes, like that small child I may want to struggle against the covering over of my eyes and that's where the patience comes in. There are some things that I'd like to see of course. But, the idea that ALLAH HIMSELF decided to cover my eyes just like the protective adult covering the eyes of a small child fills my heart with an unexplainable joy.

Some people may say: "How can you say that ALLAH loves you when He made you not be able to see?" My reply to them is simple, ALLAH loves me so much that He is shielding and protecting my eyes from seeing the hardships and the suffering of this world. And maybe, just maybe, He wants to be the first one that I am allowed to see. I really love that trade. I don't know if I've answered that question, but I did the best that I could. I hope you can SEE what I'm saying.

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Harithah bin Wahb (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) saying, "Shall I not inform you about the people of Jannah? It is every person who is, modest and humble (before Allah), a person who is accounted weak and is looked down upon but if he adjures Allah, Allah will certainly give him what he desires. Now shall I not inform you about the inmates of Hell? It is every violent, impertinent and proud man". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Two different reminders by the Great Scholar of Madinah, the Prophet's City: Ash-Shaykh Al-Mukhtaar Ash-Shanqeetee.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ الْهَمِّ وَالْحُزْنِ وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ وَالْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ
"Allahumma inni a'udhu bika minal-hammi wal-huzni wal-'ajazi

wal-kasli wal-bukhli wal-jubni wa dala'id-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijaal."

"O, ALLAAH, I seek refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and being overpowered by men." (Bukhaari)

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The journey of life can be like a roller coaster. We often experience extreme conditions which create despondency and hopelessness. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) is reported to have said: “Verily, if Allah loves a people, He makes them go through trials. Whoever is satisfied, for him is contentment, and whoever is angry upon him is wrath." (Hadith-Tirmidhi)

We have to try hard to embrace the struggles of life and Trust in Allah. There’s no development without pain. Life's difficulties are necessary for our own development, so when they come along, accept them, embrace them and never ever lose hope and always place complete Reliance and Trust in Allah. Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles; they toughen and make you strong.

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for Allah to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. He nevertheless remained hopeful of Allah's help and continued his praying every day.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.

The "worst" had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief. "Allah, how could this happen to me!" he cried. Early the next day, just before Fajr Salaah (early morning prayer) he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" the man asked the sailors on the ship. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

Allah says: "...Bear with patience whatever befalls you...." (Qur'an 31:17) and: "Be not sad, surely Allah is with us." (Qur'an 9:40)

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going badly. But we shouldn't lose heart, because Allah is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Allah Ta’ala says: "Verily, with hardship there is relief." (Qur'an 94:6) and:: "And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him". ( Qur’an 65:3)

Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground--it just may be a smoke signal that summons... the Grace and Help of Allah!

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The Definition of Patience

'Sabr' is an Arabic word which comes from a root meaning to detain, refrain and stop. There is an expression in Arabic, "so-and-so was killed sabran," which means that he was captured and detained until he died.

In the spiritual sense, patience means to stop ourselves from despairing and panicking, to stop our tongues from complaining, and to stop our hands from striking our faces and tearing our clothes at times of grief and stress.

What Scholars have Said about Patience

Some scholars have defined patience as a good human characteristic or a positive psychological attitude, by virtue of which we refrain from doing that which is not good. Human beings cannot live a proper, healthy life without patience.

Abu 'Uthman said:

"The one who has patience is the one who has trained himself to handle difficulties."

'Amr ibn 'Uthman al-Makki said:

"Patience means to keep close to Allah and to accept calmly the trials He sends, without complaining or feeling sad."

Al-Khawwas said:

"Patience means to adhere to the rules of the Qur'an and Sunnah."

Another scholar said:

"Patience means to refrain from complaining."

Ali ibn Abi Talib said:

"Patience means to seek Allah's help."

Is it better to have patience at a time of difficulty, or to be in a situation which does not require patience?

Abu Muhammad al-Hariri said:

"Patience means not seeing any difference between times of ease and times of hardship, and being content at all times."

I (Ibn Al-Qayyim) say:

This is too difficult, and we are not instructed to be like this. Allah has created us in such a way that we feel the difference between times of ease and times of hardship, and all that we can do is refrain from panicking at times of stress. Patience does not mean feeling the same at both easy and difficult times. That is beyond us, and is not part of our nature. Having an easy time is better for us than having a difficult time.

As the Prophet (peace be upon him) said in his well-known supplication: "If You are not angry with me, then I do not care what happens to me, but still I would rather have Your blessings and favour." This does not contradict the hadith which says, "No-one has ever been given a better gift than patience," because that refers to after a test or trial has befallen a person. But ease is still better.

Patience and Shakwah (complaint)

Shakwah (complaint) falls into two categories:

The first type means to complain to Allah, and this does not contradict patience. It is demonstrated by several of the Prophets, for example, when Ya'qub ('alayhis-salaam) said:

"I only complain of my distraction and anguish to Allah." (Yusuf, 12: 86).

Earlier, Ya'qub ('alayhis-salaam) had said "sabrun jameel"which means "patience is most fitting for me."The Qur'an also tells us about Ayyub ('alayhis-salaam):

"And (remember) Ayyub (Job), when he cried to his Lord, 'Truly distress has seized me." (Al-Anbiya 21:83).

The epitome of patience, the Prophet (peace be upon him) prayed to his Lord: "O Allah, I complain to You of my weakness and helplessness."

Musa ('alayhis-salaam) prayed to Allah, saying:

"O Allah, all praise is due to You, and complaint is made only to You, and You are the only One from Whom we seek help and in Whom we put our trust, and there is no power except by Your help."

The second type of complaint involves complaining to people, either directly, through our words, or indirectly, through the way we look and behave. This is contradictory to patience.

Opposing forces

Psychologically speaking, every person has two forces at work within him or her. One is the "driving force", which pushes him towards some actions, and the other is the "restraining force", which holds him back from others. Patience essentially harnesses the driving force to push us towards good things, and the restraining force to hold us back from actions that may be harmful to ourselves or others. Some people have strong patience when it comes to doing what is good for them, but their patience is weak with regard to restraint from harmful actions, so we may find that a person has enough patience to perform acts of worship (e.g. Salaah, Sawm (Fasting), Hajj), but has no patience in controlling himself and refraining from following his whims and desires, and in this way he may commit Haraam (Impermissible) deeds.

Conversely, some people may have strong patience in abstaining from forbidden deeds, but their patience in obeying commandments and performing 'Ibaadah is too weak. Some people have no patience in either case! And, needless to say, the best people are those who possess both types of patience. So, a man may have plenty of patience when it comes to standing all night in prayer, and enduring whatever conditions of heat or cold may be prevalent, but have no patience at all when it comes to lowering his gaze and refraining from looking at women. Another may have no problem in controlling his gaze, but he lacks the patience which would make him enjoin the good and forbid the evil, and he is so weak and helpless that he cannot strive against the Disbelievers and Polytheists.

Most people will be lacking in patience in any one case, and a few lack it in all cases.

Further Definition of Patience

A scholar said:

"To have patience means that one's common sense and religious motives are stronger than one's whims and desires."

It is natural for people to have an inclination towards their own desires, but common sense and religious motive should limit that inclination. The two forces are at war: sometimes reason and religion win, and sometimes whims and desires prevail. The battlefield is the heart of man.

Patience has many other names, according to the situation.

If patience consists of restraining sexual desire, it is called honour, the opposite of which is adultery and promiscuity.

If it consists of controlling one's stomach, it is called self-control, the opposite of which is greed.

If it consists of keeping quiet about that which it is not fit to disclose, it is called discretion, the opposite of which is disclosing secrets, lying, slander or libel.

If it consists of being content with what is sufficient for one's needs, it is called abstemiousness, the opposite of which is covetousness.

If it consists of controlling one's anger, then it is called forbearance, the opposite of which is impulsiveness and hasty reaction.

If it consists of refraining from haste, then it is called gracefulness and steadiness, the opposite of which is to be hot-headed.

If it consists of refraining from running away, then it is called courage, the opposite of which is cowardice.

If it consists of refraining from taking revenge, then it is called forgiveness, the opposite of which is revenge.

If it consists of refraining from being stingy, then it is called generosity, the opposite of which is miserliness.

If it consists of refraining from being lazy and helpless, then it is called dynamism and initiative.

If it consists of refraining from blaming and accusing other people, then it is called chivalry {muroo'ah literally "manliness").

Different names may be applied to patience in different situations, but all are covered by the idea of patience.

This shows that Islam in its totality is based on patience.

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"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient). Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return." They are those on whom are the Salawat (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones." [Noble Quran 2:155-157]

Every Believer Will Be Tested

It is clear that this life is filled with calamites, tests and trials. Every believer will be subjected to many of these calamities, tests and trials. Sometimes these trials are manifested in himself, sometimes in his wealth, and sometimes with his beloved ones. These preordainments are from the One who is All-Wise and they touch the believer in various ways and manners. If a believer does not have the correct understanding regarding the manner of dealing with trials and tribulations he may err seriously. This is especially true when facing difficult and burdensome calamities.

Many people are ignorant of the wisdom behind facing trials and tests. They may not understand that Allah does not intend to punish us through tests; rather Allah creates an opportunity to earn His Mercy. The believer should look at the matter of Ibtilaa' (being put to tests) and trials through the textual proofs from the Quran and the authentic Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), in order to stand firmly grounded regarding these matters.

Yes, it is a test and a trial. Every day we are tested in this life.

Our wealth is a test; the spouse is a test; the children are tests; poverty, wealth, and richness are tests and health and illness are tests. We are tested in everything which we possess and encounter in this life and until we meet Allah the Most High. Allah says:

"Everyone is going to taste death, and We shall make a trial of you with evil and with good. And to Us you will be returned." [Noble Quran 21:35]

And Allah said: "Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: "We believe," and will not be tested. And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test)." [Noble Quran 29:2-3]

Therefore both the healthy and the ill are tested. The one who was healthy did not know until he was touched by a trial, and the one who was ill did not feel that he was being tested until he was cured. No one is safe from this due to his prestige or his status. This does not prevent the matter of testing as we remember from the authentic Hadith, where the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"The most intense in terms of testing are the prophets and then the like and then the like." [Bukhari]

Amongst us there is no one who possesses the ability to reject tests. The faithful, patient, persevering individuals, who anticipate their reward from Allah are the successful ones amongst the tested. Also from amongst us are those who are tested but they fail due to their weak faith and their objection to Allah; we seek refuge in Allah from such a state.

May Allah's Mercy be upon Al-Fudhayl bin 'Iyadh who said,

"As long as the people are in a state of good welfare, once tested, they will return to their realities. The believer will go to his faith and the hypocrite will go to his hypocrisy."

Everything Has Been Preordained

Allah preordained everything for us including our sustenance and our life spans. Allah says:

"...It is We Who portion out between them their livelihood in this world..." [Noble Quran 43:32]

Our sustenance and livelihood are preordained with clear and certain measures. Illness is preordained, one's welfare is preordained; everything in this life is preordained. So a person should accept what Allah has preordained for him and should not hate, dislike or feel discomfort regarding the preordainments of the Almighty and All-Wise. On understanding that a certain test is a part of the decree of Allah, one should submit his affair to Allah and know that whatever befalls him could not have missed him and whatever misses him could not have befallen him.

How The Believer Deals With Tests & Trials

Whosoever wants their life be monotonic (always according to his wishes and without trials), it is as if he wants the pre-decree of Allah to be in accordance with his desires. This is wishful thinking. No matter what pre-ordinance or test occurs it a matter that is good for the believer. However, this is conditional upon the believer's gratefulness to Allah for His favors and his being patient during times of trial.

It is reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Amazing is the affair of the believer. His affair for him is all good, and this is for none except the believer. If he is touched by something good and he gives thanks, then it is good for him. And if he is touched by a calamity or hardship and he is patient then this is good for him." [Sahih Muslim]

Allah said: "...it may be that you dislike a thing through which Allah brings a great deal of good." [Noble Quran 4:19]

"...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know." [Noble Quran 2:216]

One should recognize that Allah is the One who tests him and also the One who bestows favors upon him. He should also know that not all that he dislikes is to be disliked in reality, and likewise, not everything which he desires is in reality beneficial for him. "Allah knows and you do not know".

Some of the Salaf said:

"If you are afflicted by a calamity and you are a patient, then your calamity is one. But if you are not patient, then your calamity is doubled - losing the reward and losing the beloved one, the Hereafter (Paradise)."

This saying of some of the Salaf is in relation to what Allah Almighty says:

"And among mankind is he who worships Allah as it were upon the edge (i.e. in doubt): if good befalls him, he is content therewith; but if a trial befalls him he turns back on his face (i.e. reverts to disbelief after embracing Islam). He loses both this world and the Hereafter. That is the evident loss." [Noble Quran 22:11]

The Reward Associated With Tests & Trials

Certainly being tested is a station for a while (i.e. it is temporary). It erases the sins just as the leaves fall from a tree, as mentioned in the Ahadith by Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri and Abu Hurairah that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that." [Bukhaari and Muslim]

Abu Hurairah also narrated that the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials." [Bukhaari]

In a Hadith narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar he said, "I visited the Prophet during his ailments and he was suffering from a high fever. I said, "You have a high fever. Is it because you will have a double reward for it?" He said, "Yes, for no Muslim is afflicted with any harm except that Allah will remove his sins as the leaves fall from a tree." [Bukhaari]

Hence, the reward is affirmed regarding every type of harm or hurt, tangible or intangible, if the believer patiently perseveres and anticipates the reward. As Anas bin Malik reported: I heard Allah's Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) saying,

"Allah said, 'If I deprive my slave of his two beloved things (i.e. his eyes) and he remains patient, I will let him enter Paradise in compensation for them.'" [Bukhari]

Tests and trials are a means to removing sins (from the believers) and all the children of Adam commit sins. Tests and trials may also raise one's degree enabling one to move on to a higher level in Paradise as in the Hadith where Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

"When the child of a person dies, Allah says to His angels: 'You have taken the soul of the child of My slave?' They say: 'Yes.' He says: 'You took the fruit of his heart.' They (the angels) say, 'Yes.' Then Allah says, 'What did My slave say (upon that)?' They say, 'He praised you and made Istirja' (meaning he said, Innaa Lillahi Wa Innaa Ilayhi Raji'un' - To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return). So Allah says, 'Build for My slave a house in Paradise and name it The House of Praise." [Bukhaari]

In another Hadith: "Any Muslim who is hurt by a thorn or greater than that, Allah will remove a sin from him and elevates him a degree (raise his status) because of that." [Sahih Muslim]

So (he is raised) degree above degrees, until he reaches his final degree in Paradise which comes due to his patience and above that, due to the Favor of Allah, as He says:

"Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning." [Noble Quran 39:10]

Thus calamities, trials and tests are signs of love from Allah for the believers. They are comparable to a cure; although it may be bitter, you accept it because it is from the one whom you love, and to Allah belongs the best example. As comes in the Hadith, the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon him) said:

"The magnitude of the reward is proportional to the magnitude of the affliction. When Allah loves some people, He tests them. He who is content (with Allah's decree) will receive the Pleasure (of Allah); and he who is discontent will attain the wrath (of Allah)." [Ath-Tirmidhi and Sheikh Al-Albani graded it Sahih]

Imam ibn Al Qayyim said:

The Ibtilaa' (testing) of the believer is like medicine for him. It cures him from illness. Had the illness remained it would destroy him or diminish his reward and level (in the hereafter). The tests and the trials extract these illnesses from him and prepare him for the perfect reward and the highest of degrees (in the life to come)."

Certainly the affliction of tests and trials is better to the believer than the punishment of the hereafter. Certainly it is a cause for the elevation of one's rank and expiation for his sins, and therefore it is better.

In the Hadith, Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "If Allah intends good for the Believer, He hastens his punishment in this life and if He intends otherwise, He withholds his punishment for his sin until he re-compensates him for it on the Day of Resurrection." [Ath-Tirmidhi and Sheikh Al-Albani authenticated it]

The People of Knowledge made it clear that this is in reference to the one who is a hypocrite. Allah withholds the punishment from him in this life to give him his full account on the Day of Resurrection, and we seek refuge in Allah from such.

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O one bound in fetters of steel,

Trust me, I know how you feel.

When that door slams shut at night,

The reality begins to bite.

You alone with your thoughts.

Hopes and fears of all sorts.

What will arrive tomorrow?

Some good news or just more sorrow?

Know, my friend, that every ocean has a shore.

And every hardship has a door.

Every desert has springs.

And every caged bird has wings.

So hold your head high and smile.

For perhaps you are on the final mile.

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Science lecturer Najma Yasmin Gani from South London passed away at the age of 34 on 10 March 2012 after a six-year battle with leukaemia (blood cancer). Babar Ahmad writes about the correspondence he exchanged with her from prison during the final months of her life.

The first letter I received from Najma was in October 2010. Enclosed with the letter was some money and words of encouragement for me. At the end of her letter were a couple of lines requesting that I pray for her, since she was in the final stages of acute myeloid leukaemia.

I wrote back to Najma thereby starting a cycle of correspondence that was to last until shortly before her death. Sometimes she would reply promptly; at other times she would reply after several weeks apologising for the delay due to her being in hospital. She told me the story of her battle against leukaemia since February 2006, describing in detail the types of treatment she was undergoing. One thing that struck me about her letters was the matter-of-fact, at times even humorous, way in which she would describe horrendously painful medical procedures.

Recounting a four-month course of arsenic chemotherapy whose "side- effects are worse than the actual cancer, " she wrote,

"Due to the known damage arsenic has on the heart, I spent a lot of time on the Intensive Care Unit and Cardiac Care Unit ... The heavy-metal constitution of arsenic meant that lumps of it, painful hard lumps, accumulated on my skin which had to be surgically cut away."

She went on to detail her past week of treatment involving six-inch needles into her pelvic bone and bone marrow, three intravenous lines in her hand,

"the removal of my Hickman line (attached to my jugular vein, requiring seven stitches and a lumbar puncture - spinal cord injection), " and daily blood tests. At the end of this passage she wrote, "I am still smiling though."

Despite all these medical procedures, her letters would be full of concern for other people. She would tell me about her work with Desidonors.org, a charity seeking bone marrow donors for sick children in the Asian community. I was particularly touched by the story of Amun Ali, a cute and chubby 10-year old boy from Birmingham with a bone marrow disorder that had already claimed the life of his 4-year old brother. I would ask Najma for regular updates on his situation. On 19 June 2011 Najma replied,

“Before I update you about my health, let me inform you that Amun Ali passed away in March this year. We found a bone marrow donor for him. However, the entire process is very aggressive and his young body couldn’t it...Truly devastating for all of us.”

Her concern for others began with her own parents before anyone else, especially her mother. She wrote,

"But perhaps the worst thing about my cancer is the effect it has on my parents. I don't know what it feels like to be a parent, so cannot fathom how my mother stops her own life just to put some comfort into mine ... She has never left my side since the first day I was diagnosed ... She is so firmly committed to my care, she never stops smiling and praying for me every time I catch a glimpse of her. Parents are such a mercy, even at my age I need her. I feel so humble as I promised I would always look after her, and be there for her, but it seems to be the other way round.”

Every now and then, however, Najma would reveal the true extent of what she was going through:

“I’m tired and exhausted and in pain most days ... My dreams are a respite from the painful, invasive, draining and toxic treatment I have to endure daily... Sadly my bones remain in agony and I refuse morphine simply because I feel numb and emotional ... I have had a 6-inch needle into my spinal cord. It really hurts, in fact it burns. It's a level of pain I never knew existed ... I don't know why I am still alive...”

Najma's unshakeable faith in God and the After-life is what fuelled her determination to bear her ordeal with dignity:

“I know my Creator is a Merciful One and I know I shall be rewarded for my struggles and that fact alone makes my journey bearable ... When I think of Allah's love, it makes some of this pain bearable... In the blood cancer unit, I see tragedy, pain, helplessness and misery most of the time. But there is something very special about believers: they never complain, not to others anyway. Their resolve comes from knowing that we shall only be transient in this world ... And Allah knows best. "

Najma's last letter to me was written on 20 November 2011, from her hospital bed, where she had been for several weeks by then. Unlike all her previous letters, this one was written in poor handwriting with disjointed line structure.

"I wrote this letter from my room in the ward. I can barely lift my head up; it might even be incoherent... The chemotherapy has damaged my eyes so I can barely see on some days ... I am still vomiting from the chemotherapy and most of my hair has fallen out ... "

Despite her condition she still enclosed some money for me and went on to congratulate me for receiving 140,000 signatures in the e-petition campaign:

"We are all praying for relief from your hardship. Nothing can remain the same. Things will change. "

She continued,

"Sickness teaches you so much: humility, mercy, obedience, the list is endless... Patience is a hard lesson, but very beneficial indeed. I was always impatient and in a hurry, rushing around wasting my life away until sickness entered my life and I was forced to reflect ... Some days I think I won't make it through but those days are the ones that I forget that Allah has already written it down for me ..."

During Najma's final weeks and days my family visited her in hospital many times. As her condition deteriorated I sent her one final card in which I encouraged her to look forward to the reward that God had prepared for her in Paradise. My mother told me that Najma spent a long time reading and re-reading the card.

The next day, on 05 March 2012, she was taken to the Intensive Care Unit and she passed away a few days later, on the Saturday afternoon of 10 March 2012. All those present testified to the look of extreme peace and serenity on her face after she died. After a funeral attended by hundreds of people, she was buried in the Gardens of Peace cemetery in Ilford, Essex. May God have mercy on her and reward her for her patience through suffering.

I have learnt from my journey through life that there is rich inspiration to be gained by sharing the living moments of those who, for whatever reason, have been deprived of life. Whenever I have met cancer sufferers, the crippled, prisoners in indefinite detention, the blind and the dying, I have seen them attach a value to life, people and friendship that is unseen in others. To pass objective judgement on something, one must be external to it. Since they live in the twilight between life and death, they are able to see life for what it really is. They value every second of their existence and the people around them because they know that everything in life is temporary. In doing so, they increase the value of their own lives and the lives of those whom they touch.

The name 'Najma' in Arabic means 'star'. The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) once said that one of the reasons God created the stars was to act as beacons for those who want to find their way. Najma's life was a beacon to any of us who have lost our way. Her life (and death) was the inspiration to many people, most of whom had never met her, even though she never realised it.

Through her six years of hell, Najma taught us how to be pleased with God's destiny and how to confront hardships with dignified patience. She taught us how to cherish everything you have and how to value people because you don't know how long you will be with them. She taught us how to smile in the face of suffering and how reaching out and helping others in pain can relieve our own pain. Through her life, Najma taught us how to die. And through her death, she taught us how to live.

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Yahya ibn Mu’adh was once asked, ‘When does a slave reach the ranks of Ridha (being pleased with Allah)?’ He said:

“When he acts upon 4 principles with which he deals with his Lord: That he says: ‘(O Allah), if You give me, I shall accept and if You prevent me, then I shall be content. If You were to leave me, I shall still worship You, and were to call me I shall indeed answer.” [Hilyat al-Awliya']

Being pleased with Allah `azza wa jall no matter what happens is from the greatest signs that a believer is a sincere and strong believer. It shows caliber, truthfulness and integrity in one’s practise of Islam. As human beings, we’re bound to go through ups and downs in life, we’re tested with many things – sometimes the test is easy but sometimes it’s difficult and will knock you down unsuspectingly – but this is not the key issue in our lives. Trials & tribulations, ups & downs, good & bad times etc, are all from the Sunan of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala that every living thing will experience in their lifespan. But the crucial matter at hand is how we deal and cope with these issues.

It might be the case that a few years ago, you used to be a very strong Muslim, steadfast in your faith, consistent in your ‘Ibadah (worship in all its forms) and being very active in general. Throughout the years however, you notice that things are not the same anymore, you’re slacking, you no longer have that zeal to learn, to develop and progress in your Deen, and your worship is minimal at it’s best – no Sunnah prayers, no extra fasts, no Qiyaam and definitely no sadaqah, what with all the credit crunch crunching right through your pocket!. When bad times hit you, you fall into some type of depression, unable to lift your chin, breathe in the air and say with a smile and fresh contentment, ‘Alhamdulillah `ala kulli hal’ (praising Allah for every circumstance).

Why? What’s changed?

It could be many reasons; it could be a personal thing for you. But at its root, undeniably, it’s to do with tarbiyyah – were you built up enough to endure those years? Were you strong enough from the beginning such that any problem you faced only made you stronger? Did you have the right self-tarbiyyah in the first place?

What Mu’adh ibn Jabal described above is a person who has trained themselves upon the principles of Islam… someone who has gone through effective tarbiyyah and who has really benefited from their knowledge and practise of Islam. It has penetrated them such that no matter what happens, they see beyond that matter and focus on Allah `azza wa jall Himself, since He is the Controller of all things, the Sustainer, the One to Who they’re returning to – and this is an incredible source of strength for the ‘Abd: when he turns to his Master and Keeper.

So, let us try to understand our affairs and be happy regardless of what situations we find ourselves in. If it’s good, then be thankful and if it’s not what you expected, then be patient and still be thankful because at the end of the day, it’s not about the issues you face… rather what’s being recorded in your book is how you deal with them and the deeds you subsequently do.

Really, brothers and sisters, I can’t stress how important tarbiyyah is in the life of a Muslim, or indeed in the life of any human being. Tarbiyyah is something which sees us through many things on a daily basis, it affects the way we worship Allah `azza wa jall and work Him in our lives, the way we deal with others, the way we conduct ourselves, the way we cope with the distresses of life, how we run our families, communities and how we perform as individuals in general. If we lack the solid, inside-out type of tarbiyyah, then throughout our lives, we’ll suffer one loss after another. We’ll see a downward spiral in our Deen and we’ll see little to no change in progress or development in our lives- in fact, it leaves us as stagnant beings and leads to our detriment.

A statement of Shaykh Ahmad Farid:

‘Al-Tarbiyyah al-Imaniyyah (training and developing oneself Islamically and internally) is a part of the tarbiyyah which a Muslim needs to take on in order to become a firm brick in the lofty castle of Islam. It is also a part of the tarbiyyah which is required to raise a generation upon the mode and manner of the first generation through whom Allah `azza wa jall permitted the conquest of lands, opened the hearts of slaves and they gave Islam strength and victory for many centuries to come…’

Without tarbiyyah, there’s not much you can do or maintain in your life.

Wa billahi-tawfiq

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Allah (Almighty) says in Surah al-Faatihah (1:6-7): “Guide us to the Straight Path. The Path of those whom You have blessed…”

Every day, at least 17 times, every Muslim invokes Allah to guide him or her to the Straight Path. What is the Straight Path? Allah tells us in the next verse that it is the Path of those whom He has blessed. Who are the ones whom Allah has blessed? The scholars of tafseer said that the answer to this question lies in Surah An-Nisa (4:69):

“And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) shall be with those WHOM ALLAH HAS BLESSED: the Prophets, the Truthful ones, the Martyrs and the Righteous. And what an excellent fellowship are they.”

Therefore, the pre-condition for being a member of this elite group is obedience to Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him). But what happens in a world when everyone claims to obey Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him)- how does one ascertain whether or not one is on the Straight Path? The following example illustrates the answer to this dilemma.

Imagine a man sets out on a journey to a particular destination and follows a particular path. Then another man wants to reach the same destination and so he tries to follow the same path as the first man. How do we know if the second man took the same path as the first? We compare what they experienced on their respective journeys. Therefore, if the first man saw a particular stream, a particular rock, a particular tree, etc. and then the second man saw those same landmarks, we can say that they most probably followed the same path. However, if the second man did not see any of these milestones, or the things he saw differed from what the first man saw, then we can say that something went wrong.

If we look at the lives of the Prophets ('alayhimus-salaam) who are the first group whom Allah has blessed, and then we look at the Prophet (peace be upon him), then the Companions (peace be upon him), then those who followed them, then the famous classical scholars, all the way until today, what do we find? What is common to all of the above? Prophet Nuh ('alayhis-salaam) was ridiculed. Prophet Ibrahim ('alayhis-salaam) was thrown in the fire following which he had to leave his wife and son in the barren valley of Makkah. Musa ('alayhis-salaam) fled from Firoun and lived a life in exile for many years. Prophet Yusuf ('alayhis-salaam) was imprisoned unjustly for seven years. They tried to crucify Isa ('alayhis-salaam). The Prophet (peace be upon him) was abused, assaulted, evicted from his homeland, etc., etc. We know from the Qur'an that some Prophets were even killed by their followers. These people are the most beloved to Allah. If there were anything bad, shameful or dishonourable about these trials, then Allah would not have allowed them to happen to the best of His Creation.

Likewise, if we look at some of the Companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him): Abu Bakr and Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) beaten physically; Bilal, Khabbab, Yasir, Sumayyah and Ammar (may Allah be pleased with him) tortured; Khubaib executed, etc. This means that the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them) were following the same path as the Prophet (peace be upon him) because they experienced the same things. In the same way, we find the early scholars: Abu Haneefah imprisoned, Imam Malik tortured and ridiculed, Imam Shafi kicked out, Imam Ahmad imprisoned and publicly lashed. This means that these scholars were also following the same path as the Prophets (peace be upon him) because they experienced the same things.

Therefore, if you are seeing the same scenery, milestones and landmarks as they saw, then that means that you are also on the same path inshaa'Allah. And being on the same path means that you will reach the same destination, inshaa'Allah.

"O you who believe! If you help (in the cause of) Allah, He will help you, and make your foothold firm." (Surah 47:7)

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Allah Almighty said in the Quran (2:260): 

“And when Ibrahim (alayhis salaam) said: ‘My Lord!

Show me how you give life to the dead.’

He said: ‘Do you not believe (that I can do that)?'

He replied: ‘Certainly, but just to bring satisfaction to my heart…’”

The rest of the verse describes how Allah Almighty showed him a sign and brought peace to his heart something that Ibrahim ('alayhis-salaam) already believed in. Sometimes you will feel like asking Allah ('azza wa jall) to show you a sign, just to reassure you that you are on the Truth and that Allah is on your side. If, at any one time you feel like that, make wudhoo', pray two rak'ahs and ask Allah to show you a sign. Then look out of the window towards the sky. One brother describes his thoughts when he did that:

“I asked Allah to show me a sign, on one of the days when I was feeling a bit low, and then looked out of the window at the sky. I was admiring Allah’s Creation, when suddenly I saw a huge, dark cloud approaching the prison. It was massive and looked terrifying- it came and overshadowed the prison. However, as slowly as it came, it drifted away and the shadow disappeared. I thought to myself that this is Allah telling me that no matter how bad your situation is, or how big you problem is, or how terrifying your circumstances are, there will be relief. Just like the terrifying cloud did not overshadow the prison forever, similarly every bad situation will not last forever: there will be relied after every difficulty, as Allah said in the Quran (94:5-6): “So indeed with hardship there comes ease. Indeed with hardship there comes ease.”

One hardship cannot overcome two eases. No matter how long the night is, there will always be a dawn at the end of it.

And the dawn always appears after the darkest part of the night.

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The happiest people to have ever lived on the face of the Earth were the Prophets. This is in spite of the fact that they suffered more than anyone else. For, they had to endure severe persecution in delivering the message that Allaah had entrusted them with. Beyond that, they were subjected to the same difficulties that all other human beings suffer from, such as illness, poverty, hunger, and thirst... and more often to a greater degree than usual.

Once, Muhammad (sallallaahu `alayhi wa-sallam) suffered from a bad fever so much so that his forehead was drenched with sweat and he was suffering greatly. One of his Companions then said to him: “You are suffering from quite a severe illness.”

The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wa-sallam) replied: “Yes. I must endure double of the severity of illness from the illnesses that you must endure.” [Musnad Ahmad]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also suffered from starvation. Once, during the days of persecution, the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wa-sallam) came out from his home and found Aboo Bakr and `Umar (radhiyallaahu anhum) outside. He asked them: “What brings you out at this hour?” They told him that it was hunger which brought them out. The Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wa-sallam) then said: “By Allaah, the same thing that has brought you out of your homes has brought me out as well.”

At certain points in his life, such as during the Battle of the Trench, the Prophet faced such severe hunger that he had to tie two stones to his stomach just to try and relieve some of the pain.

The Prophets all had to endure such persecution by their people because of the message Allaah sent them with. However, The Prophets’ hearts were strong. Moreover, they remained open-hearted and magnanimous to the people and persevered until their defeats turned into victories.

The beauty of their lives is startling. In spite of what they had to endure, they knew more happiness and contentment than many people alive today. This can be seen in how they behaved and how they responded to what they encountered in life.

We see this extraordinary contentment in the life of Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu `alayhi wa-sallam) most clearly when he faced the greatest of difficulties. For instance, once he went to spread the message of Islaam to the people of Taa’if. They not only rejected his call, but ordered the children and ruffians of the town to drive him away by pelting stones at him. He was able to escape from the city, although his shoes were soaking with blood, and his body was covered in both blood and dirt. Once he was safely away from the city, he raised his voice to Allah in supplication:

"O Allaah! I complain to You of my weakness, my lack of resources, and my weakness before the people. O Most Merciful of those who are merciful! O Lord of the weak and my Lord too! To whom have you entrusted me? To a distant person who receives me with hostility? Or to an enemy to whom you have granted authority over my affair?

So long as You are not angry with me, I do not care. Your favor is of a more expansive relief to me. I seek refuge in the light of Your Countenance by which all darkness is dispelled and every affair of this world and the next is set right, lest Your anger or Your displeasure descends upon me. I desire Your pleasure and satisfaction until You are pleased. There is no power and no might except with You."

True faith in Allaah is what brings this kind of contentment and happiness to the heart. But it must be remembered that this does not necessitate that life for the believer will be free from all hardships.

For, when we speak of the passage of time -- when we speak of weeks, months, years , and ages -- we are speaking about life. The dead do not experience time; centuries pass by and they are heedless of it all. Allaah has made this life a trial for the living. Allaah Almighty says:

“He who created death and life to test which of you would be best in deeds.” [Soorah al-Mulk: 2]

Life is a test for believers and unbelievers alike. It is a test for sinners as well as for the virtuous. Everyone is being tested as long as they are alive.

But Allaah did not leave us in this world on our own. He sent the Prophets and the scriptures for us, to illuminate our way through the passage of this life. This guidance is not only to show us how to attain happiness in the Hereafter, but it is also for this life. Many people think religion is only about the Hereafter and that its benefit is limited to the next life. The truth is that just like religion shows us the way to attain Allaah’s pleasure and the reward of Paradise, it is the way by which a believer realizes true contentment and a happy heart in this world as well. True happiness can only come from faith and knowledge of Allaah.

Allaah says:

“Is one whose heart Allaah has opened to Islaam, so that it has enlightenment from Allaah (no better than one who is hard-hearted)? Woe to those whose hearts are hardened against remembering Allaah!” [Soorah az-Zumar: 22]

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Ever get the timing all wrong and express your feelings, only to receive a really negative reception? How about when it seems to get worse and worse, whether you stay quiet or try to speak?

Basically, shaytaan has set up a big fairground, with his army of shayaateen running the rides, between you and that person. Be it your husband, friend, relative, or employer, nothing can get through to them without going through the fairground of fitnah and that rotten devil's interference.

These are times when, although you desperately want to communicate and try to garner understanding and positivity, you will not succeed. These are times when you have to hold on to your hijab (or perhaps kufi, LOL) and bide your time. Believe me, I'm writing this because I need to take my own advice, LOL.

You may write down your feelings, get into details about your perspective, and even try to make an objective list of pros and cons... or 70 excuses. However, instead of handing them over or pressing send on the e-mail, pray 2 rakah and sit down with that list and pour it out to The Therapist. Take it to Allah. Just doing that will ease your heart and mind. It also puts the whole situation over to the Only One Who has any control over it and any power to change it for the good.

Allah will not change your situation if you think you can handle it yourself...and wouldn't that be idiotic thinking anyway?

Allah says: “Call upon Me. I will answer you.” [Sûrah Ghâfir: 60]

So, call upon Him and let Him resolve the situation in the most perfect way; in a way you would never be able to in your lifetime. Don't delay in turning to Him, so He doesn't delay in answering...and remember, holding on to your hijab drives shaytaan crazy. Allah is with the patient...and shaytaan has to run. By the time you've handed it over to Allah and exercised patience, shaytaan will have been forced to pack up and take his fairground somewhere else.

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A reader asked for my take on how to you rebuild trust after repeated betrayals, so here it is - my own personal view.

When you have someone in your life that hurts you, commits indiscretions, or outright sins, and you come to a stage where you cannot trust them, don't. Not trusting someone doesn't mean you cannot live with them, enjoy time with them, love them. It simply means that you know certain of their weaknesses and cannot rely on them to overcome them. It does not mean that you don't encourage them or support them to overcome those weaknesses though. It doesn't mean that you give up hope and dua' for them, either.

There is a saying, expect nothing then everything will either meet or exceed your expectations. With our loved ones we don't want to think badly of them or expect them to do wrong, but getting over their betrayal lies in accepting their humanity and failings. Pray to Allah to keep bad feeling from your heart and replace it with understanding, mercy, and forgiveness. If you want or need to feel some kind of trust in that person, consider areas that they have always been consistent in and focus on them. However, there is no point setting yourself up for continuous disappointment or hurt by trusting them in the things they cannot be trusted with, when they haven't conquered their qareen/shayateen/nafs.

An example I can give is in raising children. You may have a child who tells lies. You may remind the child that this is wrong and even negatively reinforce the behavior (in other words punish them). You hope that the child learns and doesn't lie again. However, knowing the child's character, will you be surprised if the child lies again? Disappointed, probably but surprised, no. You know that lying is the child's weakness. There is, in my estimation, little or no difference with a spouse, parent, or friend. If one day you find that five years have passed and the child hasn't lied, perhaps you will find that over that time your trust in them has grown. It isn't something that needs work, it is something that happens naturally when there are no repeat offenses or they become very few and far between.

This is the direct opposite of what we are supposed to do with Allah, from Whom we expect the best because He is Perfection. My view is very simple: trust only Allah completely, not mere humans.

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Yaa ALLAH!

When Adam ate the forbidden fruit, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah forgave him and erased his sin.

When Abraham was thrown into the fire, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah saved him and made the fire cool.

When ordered to sacrifice his son, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah replaced his son with a mountain goat.

When Hagar had nothing to feed her baby, she cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah burst forth for her the Spring of Zamzam.

When Joseph was thrown into the well, he cried “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah reassured him of His Help and Victory.

When Jacob became blind at the grief of his missing son, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah restored his sight and returned to him his son.

When Moses fled his land in fear, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah gave him safety in the farmer’s house.

When Pharaoh’s army closed in on them, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah parted the sea for them and drowned their enemy.

When Job was stricken with distress, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah restored for him his health and wealth.

When Jonah lay at the bottom of the sea, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah ordered the whale to bring him to shore.

When David met Goliath, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah gave him victory and Goliath was slain.

When they tried to crucify Jesus, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah raised him up and saved him from crucifixion.

When Muhammad’s followers were tortured, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah opened for them the way to Madinah.

When he was nearly captured in the cave, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah’s spider spun a web and concealed him.

When his army was outnumbered at Badr, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah sent down angels to rout his foe.

When his Companions were massacred at Mauna, he cried, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah avenged their deaths and destroyed the oppressors.

When a ship is tossed by a storm, they cry, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah brings them safely to land.

When trapped in a dark hole, they cry, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah enlightens them with an opening.

When the rope becomes too tight, they cry, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah breaks it and brings them relief.

When they plead for Allah’s Help and cry, “Yaa Allah!”

So Allah responds, “Indeed My Help is Near!”

When matters are beyond you, cry, “Yaa ALLAH!”

And He will aid you and assist you.

When all hope is lost, cry, “Yaa ALLAH!”

And He will bring you ease after hardship.

When you have nothing left, cry, “Yaa ALLAH!”

And He will provide for you from where you could never imagine.

When you have no one else to turn to, cry, “Yaa ALLAH!”

And you will find Him in front of you,

Hearing and Responding. 

“Yaa ALLAH!”

By:

The Servant Poor to his Lord.

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My friends when things become unbearable, turn to Allah.

Ibn al-Jawzi said:

“Something was causing me a great deal of grief and distress, and I started to think long and hard about how to get out of this situation by any means, but I could not find any way out. Then I came across this verse:

“… And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out [ of every difficulty].” (Surah Talaq, 65:2)

I realized that Taqwa (piety, fearing Allah) is the way out of every kind of grief and distress. As soon as I followed the path of Taqwa, I found the way out.” 

Taqwa is the way that leads to everything good, for calamity happens only as the result of sin and it can only be lifted through repentance. Sadness, grief and worry are punishments for sins that we have committed, by falling short in our prayers, or backbiting about someone, or taking sin lightly, or committing Haraam actions. Whoever disobeys Allah has to pay the price for that shortcoming. Staying away from the guidance of Allah only brings misery and deprives one from His blessings. It will turn our knowledge, beauty, strength and intelligence into a calamity and loss.

Turning to Allah requires a person to renew himself, reorganize his life, develop a better relationship with Allah, do better deeds and recite this Dua often:

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I was reading  some quotes by Helen Keller and this one particular quote caught my attention:

"A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships." (The Simplest Way to be Happy 1933)

Don't we see that Allaah swt honoured us through the test He (swt) gave us to increase our reward by giving us an opportunity to practice patience, to determinedly persevere in serving Him (swt) with taqwaa (fearing Allaah swt), and to smile in gratitude to Him (swt) that the test is not any worse, that He (swt) helped us through this test?

It may be this test and nothing less than this that leads to you being honoured by ar-Rahmaan in your grave, on the Day of Judgement, in Jannatul Firdaus...it may be this test that leads also to you becoming more aware of your faith, of you turning back to Allaah (swt), of reading the Qur'aan (His swt's words) and loving the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)...and it is through this remembrance of Allaah (swt) will our hearts ultimately find true happiness and deep contentment.  How many times in our life did we have it all or do we know of those who "have it all" yet they're hearts are unsettled...they aren't content...they feel an emptiness...and yet Allaah (swt) places us in a test and by His Mercy blesses us with the opportunity to remember Him  and we become genuinely happy.

Allaah (swt) may seem be taking something from us...someone we love, our health, our wealth, our businesses...but perhaps so that this test leads us to arrive at the path of true happiness, where our hearts reach contentment and rest and ultimate happiness through the remembrance of Allaah (swt).

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Allah the Almighty says, which means: "And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know." (AI-Baqarah, 2:216)

In this Qur'anic Verse, there are several judgments, meanings and benefits for the servant - if the servant knows that misfortune can produce a desirable thing, and that the desirable thing can produce a misfortune, he would not feel secure against the harm that can come from delight, and he would not lose hope of delight to come from harm, for he does not know the outcomes of things. Verily, it is Allah Who knows about that which the servant does not know, and in this context the following issues must be noted:

Nothing is more beneficial for him than abiding by the judgments of Allah, even if it is difficult for him at the beginning, because all its outcomes are good, delightful, and pleasurable. In the same way, nothing is more harmful for him than committing what is forbidden, even if he loves it. All its outcomes are pain, grief, evil and misfortune.

Furthermore, the mind bears little pain in comparison to the great pleasure and abundant good that it will experience, and likewise man is expected to avoid little in exchange for great rewards and preventing great pain and long term evil.

In this way, we can see that the perception of the ignorant does not go beyond the basics of life; his perception does not reach the goals, but the intelligent person always keeps his eye on the goals behind his actions in life.

The intelligent person perceives forbidden things like delicious food, which contain fatal poison. Whenever its pleasure arouses his interest, the reality of the poison would push him away from it. Also, he perceives the orders of Allah as bitter medicine that leads to good health and recovery.

Whenever its bitterness urges him not to take it, the reality of its usefulness leads him to comply. This requires knowledge that is more than the rudiments of the religion in order to understand the essential goals. It also requires strong patience to adjust oneself to it, in order to bear the difficulties that will be encountered for the sake of the goal. So if he loses certainty and patience, it would be difficult to achieve the goal, and on the other hand if his certainty and patience is strong, every difficulty would be rendered easy for him for the sake of permanent good and eternal pleasure.

There are other meanings of this verse. It also requires the servant to leave all his affairs in the Hands of the One Who knows the outcomes of all things, and to be pleased with whatever He chooses for him.

Also, the meanings of the verse include the fact that he should not propose or choose for his Lord, and should not ask Him for that which he has no knowledge of, for his harm and ruin may be in it and yet he does not know. He should simply ask his Lord to choose good for him and make him pleased with His choice, for that indeed would be the best ending. Also when he  leaves all his affairs to his Lord, and is satisfied with His choice for him, Allah will support him by providing him with ability, determination and patience. He, the Almighty would also keep him away from the evil that the servant would have encountered if he had chosen for himself. He would show him some of the positive outcomes of His Choice, which he would not have attained if he had chosen for himself.

Such thinking relieves him of the burdens of trying to choose for himself as Allah frees his heart from estimations and arrangements, which fluctuate in difficulty. And in spite of this, the servant would always be surrounded by what was initially preordained for him. If he is pleased with the Choice of Allah, the preordainment would grant him what is praiseworthy, worthy of thanks and worthy of Allah's Mercy. Otherwise, the preordainment would incur on him all that is dispraised and unworthy of Allah's Mercy, because it was his own choice. When he truly leaves his affairs to Allah and truly becomes pleased with that, he would be surrounded by kindness and care in the preordainment, and he would be under the care and kindness of Allah. His Kindness protects him from that which he fears and His Care makes it easy for him to bear that which He preordained.

Therefore, there is nothing more beneficial for him than submission.

Source: AL-FAWAAID, A Collection of Wise Sayings.

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Hudhayfah (may Allah be pleased with him) said,

“Whenever the matter became serious the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would pray.” (Collected by Abu Dawud (1319) and others.)

Benefits that derived from this narration

Muhammad Abdur Rauf Al-Manawee (may Allah have mercy on him) commented on this narration. He wrote that, ”Whenever the matter became serious,” means,

(The Prophet, peace be upon him, did such) if the Prophet was attacked by surprise, on the verge of being subdued or due to an important matter which caused him to be worried or feel sad.

“He (peace and blessings be upon him) would pray.”

Means (that) he’d pray because prayer helps against the removal of all heavy blows, disasters and misfortunes. Through prayer one is seeking the assistance of the Creator who allowed it to happen. Prayer is a means to draw nearer to Allah and whoever resorts to prayer to his Lord will be protected and averted from all evil. [Faydul Qadir # 6641]

Al-Mulla Ali Qari 1014H (may Allah have mercy on him) said,

“The meaning for this Hadeeth is derived from the verse, “Seek help in patience and prayer.” (Al-Baqarah 45.) [ Sharh Musnad Abu Haneefah page 342 printed by Darul Kutubul Ilmeeyah Beriut Lebanon.]

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih Al-Uthaymeen (may Allah grant him the Highest Paradise) commented on this issue in his Tafseer of Suratul Baqarah. He said,

“The excellence of prayer is that it’s one of the things a person can seek assistance in for all matters and worldly affairs. Allah mentioned prayer and we believe with certainty that this speech is the truth. It’s been reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would pray whenever the matter became serious. This is also supported by the Prophet’s action during the Battle of Badr. He prayed in the shade and appealed to his Lord for help. [Tafseerul Quran Al-Kareem Al-Fateehah-Baqarah vol 1 page 163-164]

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If one takes a just and unbiased look at the current condition of mankind in general and the Muslims in particular, in an era where technology is at its most advanced and civilization is at its most developed in economic, medical, military and informational terms, they will find that all this worldly knowledge, information and development is inherently deficient and inept because it cannot produce people who realises the reason for his creation.

There is no doubt that this is a fact, otherwise, how can one explain the spread of ignorance and illiteracy in the era of knowledge and technology? Why is there so much poverty at a time of abundant resources? Why is unemployment overwhelming in an era of mass production and manufacturing? Why do some international researchers who specialise in community affairs call this era an era of grief and depression after they called the previous one an era of anxiety? We do not need many evidences to prove that we are suffering from the spread of this phenomenon, the phenomenon of grief and depression.

This is the destructive problem of our time and it is the most widespread amongst all the psychological diseases in the world. It is continually on the increase. An accurate International survey affirms that ten percent of the world's population suffers from it, including the Muslim countries, which means that hundreds of millions of people are living through this bitter reality. Moreover, there is proof that this phenomenon is starting at a younger age as time goes by and that it affects twice as many females as males. This has resulted from the fact that women are not practicing their natural role in the community due to them shouldering responsibilities which they were forced to, leading them to leave the role of raising their children to maids and day care centres.

The number of suicides resulting from grief and depression has exceeded eight hundred thousand annually, and this is beside the fact that eighty percent of those who suffer from it do not see doctors in order to report or solve the problem. This is not a new phenomenon and its causes are not mysterious, rather it is the natural and expected result when people become obsessed by gathering and collecting worldly belongings and when people’s concerns become purely materialistic. Therefore, this problem differs from one country or community to another and is dependent on the weakness of people’s belief in Allaah, His angels, His Books, His Messengers, The Last Day and the divine decree. This is in addition to people’s behaviour and the degree of security, justice and love between the people.

This phenomenon has interested scholars of various disciplines, medical doctors, writers and journalists who have studied and addressed this problem. In many cases the articles written have been of little benefit, and as much as people have addressed this problem, no one seems to have approached it correctly. The only correct and acceptable way of curing and solving this problem is if its diagnosis is founded on scientific treatment which is based on authentic laboratory tests and reports conducted by trustworthy specialists who apply the principles of Islaam to all their tests and stay away from the purely materialistic bias which fails to attach any value to the spiritual side of the problem.

Grief is a something natural that humans feel due to their common problems, it is when it increases and overwhelms a person that it becomes what is known as depression. This is a condition that is considered to be at the highest level of grief and results in a person becoming controlled and dominated by their inner misery, the result of which is despair and loss of happiness. It is usually accompanied with headaches, bone problems, ulcers and other symptoms; it also makes a person lose their taste of joy and happiness. The results of depression include laziness, loss of energy and hatred of life which makes some people feel that suicide is the only solution. Imaam Ibn Al-Qayyim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said,

"Four things destroy the body: anxiety, grief, hunger and sleeping late."

Applying medical treatment with a religious foundation, extracted from the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) is vital because it is the most perfect and safest form of treatment, especially when one compares this to the hundreds of medications and tranquilizers which have flooded the market and which the human body becomes addicted to, thereby descending into a worse and more serious condition than depression.

Some medical reports state that swimming and frequently doing house work is a solution for depression, but it is ludicrous to imagine that depressed people will always remain in swimming pools or be constantly doing housework. On the other hand, it is accepted that a person can easily be remembering Allaah, glorifying him and seeking His forgiveness at all times, whether he is standing, sitting or lying down. This is how Allaah described the people of understanding when He says that which translates as, “[Those] Who remember Allaah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], 'Our Lord! You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire'”. (Aal ‘Imraan: 190-191). Therefore, we can see the importance of spiritual treatment to these problems, although there is no doubt that medication is also necessary, but the point is that we must not ignore the spiritual treatments that exist for these problems. We shall concentrate on the some of the reasons why depression exists which have been specifically addressed by Islaam and dispraised and warned against it in many verses of the Qur’aan aswell as in various Ahaadeeth.

In many Qur'aanic verses and Ahaadeeth it is mentioned that the heart which is heedless of the remembrance of Allaah, which is reflected by the heedlessness of the tongue is an indication of grief and misery for the person who is afflicted by this. Allaah says that which translates as, “And whoever turns away from My remembrance – Indeed, he will have a depressed [i.e., difficult] life, and We will gather [i.e., raise] him on the Day of Resurrection blind.” (Taa Haa: 124).

Also, it is also mentioned in the Sunnah that sins lead to depression, as stated in the book of Imaam Ahmad, may Allaah have mercy upon him, that the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said, “If a slave’s sins increase and he does not have enough good deeds which would wipe these out, then Allaah will afflict him with grief and sorrow in order to wipe them out”.

Being anxious and concerned about the future and the lack of belief in divine decree and pre-destination is another cause of this problem. Some people worry about what the future holds for them and fear being incapable of dealing with problems, disasters and calamities, if and when they arrive. One finds that such people are in such a frenzy at times of tribulation that if they could find refuge in a cave or other remote and concealed place, they would rush like mad to get to it.

Bad dreams caused by Satan, who instils sorrow in a person, also play an important role the cause of depression. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) informed us that Satan comes to people as they sleep and makes them see things which results in them feeling grief and sorrow. This is why we see many people who suffer from depression not being able to sleep properly.
Other reasons that lead to depression are debts which a person cannot repay, cowardliness at the time of fear and stinginess whilst aggressively collecting wealth.

The proof that debts cause grief and anxiety lies in the Hadeeth where the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) went into the mosque one day and found Abu Umaamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, and said, “O Abu Umaamah! Why do I see you sitting in the mosque when it is not prayer time?” Abu Umaamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, replied, "It is due to anxiety and grief, which resulted from debts that I owe." So the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said, “Shall I teach words which will take away your grief and by which Allaah will help you repay your debts, if you were to say them?” Abu Umaamah, may Allaah be pleased with him replied, "Yes! O Messenger of Allaah." Thereupon, the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said, “Every morning and every evening say, O Allah! I seek refuge in you from anxiety and grief, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardliness, the burden of debts and from being over powered by men." After this, Abu Umaamah, may Allaah be pleased with him, commented that, "I did this and Allaah relieved my sorrow and anxiety and helped me repay my debts."

These were some reasons behind depression, and through these one can clearly see the connection between depression and straying away from the guidance and the path of Allaah, committing that which Islaam has prohibited, and being attached to worldly matters. Allaah says that which translates as, “So whoever Allaah wants to guide – He expands his breast to [contain] Islaam; and whoever He wants to misguide – He makes his breast tight and constricted as though he were climbing into the sky. Thus does Allaah place defilement upon those who do not believe.” (Al-An’aam: 125).

In order to address this topic in a comprehensive manner we must briefly point out some of the best ways of curing this problem, based on the Islamic texts in addition to the testimony of eminent and specialised medical doctors:

*The first and most important is the obligation of the Muslim nation of performing Jihaad for the sake of Allaah, propagating it and inviting people to perform it, and warning against being inclined towards this life and its pleasures. This is the way to a prosperous and tranquil heart, and a means of getting rid of grief and misery. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said, “When people become stingy, deal with ‘Eenah (a form of Ribaa), follow their cattle and become satisfied with agriculture (i.e., become attached to agriculture and commerce) then Allaah will afflict them with humiliation until they return to their religion”. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) also said, “Perform Jihaad because it is one of the gates that lead to Paradise, and a way through which Allaah relieves people from anxiety and grief”.

*The correct understanding and belief in divine decree and pre-destiny is another way to treat this problem. When a person believes that there was no way that he could have escaped whatever befell him and that all matters are in the Hands of Allaah, including ones provisions and death, and that no one will die until he consumes all his decreed provision and until he lives for the whole amount of time that was given to him, then he will definitely rely on Allaah completely without any worry or grief and will face all his problems with strength and resolution. Also, if people acknowledge that whatever Allaah has decreed resulted from His perfect wisdom, then they will be content with whatever He decrees. One who is discontent will become an easy victim for grief, disease and following base desires. Al-Hasan, may Allaah have mercy upon him, was asked how he attained his good manners, he replied,

"From being content with the decree of Allaah".

Abu Haatim, may Allaah have mercy upon him, reported that some of the Salaf said regarding being content,

"There is no rank higher or mightier than being content. It is the peak of loving Allaah".

This is exactly why Prophet Zakiryaa, peace be upon him, supplicated to Allaah to grant this to his son, as Allaah says that which translates as, “…And make him, my Lord, pleasing [to You]." (Maryam: 6). Contentment can only be established when the slave has firmly in his mind the conviction that whatever Allaah decrees results from His wisdom. Allaah provides and deprives for a wise reason, and this is the only thing that will make a person feel at ease during times of hardships. This also applies during times of prosperity, as Allaah informs us in the Qur’aan about Prophet Sulaymaan, peace be upon him, with that which translates as, “…'This is from the favour of my Lord to test me whether I will be grateful or ungrateful. And whoever is grateful – his gratitude is only for the [benefit of] himself. And whoever is ungrateful – then indeed, my Lord is free of need and Generous.' (An-Naml: 40). This is also evident in the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) when his son Ibraaheem died, “The eyes cry tears, and the heart becomes sad, but we will not say that which will bring the wrath of our Lord. If it was not a true promise, and that we will meet in an appointed time, and that the last will eventually follow (die) after the first, then we would have cried hard for your death (O Ibraaheem). Indeed we are saddened by your departure.” (Al-Bayhaqi & Ibn Maajah). By saying this, the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) meant that had he not known that there was a wisdom from Allaah behind taking his son, he would have extremely been saddened.

*Extra prostration and glorification of Allaah and worship in general takes away grief. Allaah says that which translates as, “…And We already know that your breast is constrained by what they say. So exalt [Allaah] with praise of your Lord and be of those who prostrate [to Him]. And worship your Lord until there comes to you the certainty [i.e., death].” (Al-Hijr: 97-99). Whenever the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) felt grief or worry, he would rush to prayer. The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said, “Whoever continuously asks forgiveness from Allaah, then Allaah will make a way out for him from all his worries, and will provide him from means he never would have expected”.

*The dish of Talbeenah is another relief from grief and anxiety, as narrated by ‘Aa’ishah, may Allaah be pleased with her, that the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said, “Talbeenah relieves a person’s heart from anxiety and some of its grief.” (Bukhaari & Muslim). Talbeenah is a natural medicine which is prepared by boiling wheat or barley with either honey or milk, or both of them.

*The final cure is that which the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) advised us with when he said, “Allaah will relieve any slave who is afflicted with grief and anxiety from his anxiety and replace his grief with happiness if he says, 'O Allaah! I am Your servant, son of Your servant, son of Your maidservant, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my chest, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety. O Allaah! Teach me from it that which I am ignorant of and remind me with it that which I was made to forget; I ask You by Your mercy, for You are the Most Merciful, to grant me its recitation during the hours of night and day in the form which pleases You'” . The people asked, "O Prophet of Allaah! Should we learn (i.e., memorize) these words?' He (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) replied, “Yes! Everyone who hears this should memorise it."

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.. Feeling down in the dumps, depressed, having the blues? These are just some of the terms used to describe a feeling of hopelessness and despair that can hit even the most optimistic of us at some point in our lives. While clinical depression requires proper professional treatment, the occasional feeling of sadness due to factors ranging from marital issues, economic difficulty to harassment and discrimination can be helped through some simple spiritual practices. Here are a couple that can help:

1. Look at those below you

The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whenever you see someone better than you in wealth, face or figure, you should look at someone who is inferior to you in these respects.” (Bukhari and Muslim).

If you are reading this article online, consider this: you are one of the lucky set of human beings on the planet who can afford a computer and internet connection or at least have access to one. The United Nations Development Program’s Human Development Report notes that there are still around 1 billion people living worldwide at the margins of survival on less than $1 a day, with 2.6 billion living on less than $2 a day. Also consider that in the Quran (14:7), Allaah says that if you are thankful to Him for what you have, He blesses you with more.

2. Serve your fellow human beings

One of the best ways by which to thank Allaah is to serve humanity, especially those who have less than you. Serving others is uplifting and rewarding. It helps us gain a better perspective on life’s challenges, making us realize how very often, our problems seem so small compared to the awesome difficulties others face. That’s why when the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, and the Muslims were a small, poor and persecuted community, they used to give to the poor even more. They understood that when you are generous when you have less, you achieve the perspective of a winner. You focus on the bigger picture.

3. Read Surah Adh-Dhuhaa

According to one report, after the Prophet had begun receiving revelation from God, at one point a long period of time passed with no such communication from Allaah. As a result, the Makkans ridiculed the Prophet. That’s when this chapter was revealed (Quran 93: 1-11). The chapter is a beautiful reminder to us to see life in the greater scheme of things, to be grateful for what we have and to never give up striving for what is right. This chapter of the Quran can be considered a direct recipe from God for depression.

4. Turn to Allaah in all situations

Remember that nothing can harm you without the consent of Allaah, the Most High. While you must take care of yourself, rely on Allaah and know that He is always with you and only He can give you strength in this difficult time. Dear believer, remember that He will help you and that you can come out of this trying situation as a better person if you deal with it positively.

5. Remember Allaah’s Names

Allaah has many beautiful Names which describe His Attributes and Powers. These are reminders of His Love, Mercy, Forgiveness, Justice, Strength and much, much more. Supplicating to Allaah using these Names reminds us that Allaah has these attributes more than any other being and that we can and must rely on Him during good and bad times.

6. Say ‘Hasbun Allaahu wa Ni’ mal Wakeel'

This has been translated as “God suffices me and He is the best Guardian.” It is an excellent way of reminding us that whatever worries we have or problems we face, Allaah has the answer and cure to all of them and is the only One who can really do what is best for us.

7. Make sure that when you leave home...

...you read the following Du'aa (supplication),

"Bismillahi tawakkaltu ala Allaahi laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa billah."

(In the name of Allaah, I place my trust in Allaah, and there is no might nor power except with Allaah.)

8. Take your spiritual break from the world...

...five times a day. Taking a break away from your busy schedule and endless life activities by spending a few minutes to remember Allaah, the Almighty. This will help you reconnect with the Creator of the Universe, fortify your soul and strengthen your resolve to live a better life that is in tune with your faith and principles.

9. End your day on a good note

Shakespeare once wrote a play entitled “All’s well that ends well.” That’s good advice for dealing with depression too. End a day that may have been riddled with challenges and frustrations by making Wudhoo' (ablution) before going to bed, thinking of Allaah and the Prophet (peace be upon him) and by counting and consciously realizing the many countless blessings you have.

10. Stop Shaytan in his tracks

Shaytan is the source of many of our negative emotions. It’s his job to make us feel pessimistic and to despair of any good in our lives. When you feel these feelings coming on, stop him dead in his tracks. Say,

In this way, Allaah willing, you shall begin to see a significant change in your life.

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As people are content with the world, so should you be content with Allaah. As they are delighted by the world, so should you be delighted with Allaah. As they are intimate with their loved ones, so should you seek intimacy with Allaah. As they desire to know their kings and their leaders, and to draw near to them in order for honor and status to be conferred on them, so should you come to know Allaah and seek His love, this will lead to the utmost honor and distinction.

Said one of the zuhhåd (pious):

"I can never imagine that someone could hear about Paradise and Hellfire and can still waste an hour without performing any act of obedience to Allaah, such as remembrance, prayer, reciting Qur'aan or an act of charity and kindness.”

Someone said to him: "I weep profusely."

He replied:

“That you laugh while confessing your sin is better than weeping yet being puffed-up with pride because of your deeds. For the deeds of a conceited person will never rise above his head.”

The person then requested: "Please counsel me."

So he replied:

“Leave the world to those who hanker after it, as they leave the Afterlife to its seekers. And be in this world as the bee: it eats only good, produces only good, and when it rests upon a flower it neither ruins it nor deflowers it.”

Source: Al Fawaa'id, Ibn al Qayyim al Jawziyyah (rahimahullaah), Pg.187.

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The average human being in the developed world battles sadness and worry on a daily basis. While the majority of the world's population confront extreme poverty, famine, conflict and despair those of us privileged to lead relatively easy lives must tackle fear, stress, and anxiety. Why are those of us blessed with riches beyond compare immersed in loneliness and desperation? We are living in a time of confusion, we try as we might, yet gathering material possessions can do nothing to mend broken hearts, and shattered souls.

Now, more than at any other time in human kind's history, stress, anxiety, and psychological problems are taking a tremendous toll on the human condition. Religious beliefs should afford a sense of comfort however; it seems that 21st century man has lost the ability to connect to God. Pondering the meaning of life no longer overcomes a feeling of abandonment. This desire to acquire material possessions, which in some way validates our reason for being, has become the balm that soothes our troubled souls. Why is this so?

We have the best of everything readily available, yet the reality is we have nothing. Nothing that comforts the soul. Beautiful furnishings do not hold our hand in the darkest night. The latest entertainment centre does not wipe our tears or soothe our furrowed brow. Those of us living with pain and grief, or afflicted with hardship feel abandoned. We feel rudderless on an open sea. Huge waves threaten to engulf us at any given moment. Our desires and debts stand at the apex and loom over us, like great avenging angels, and we search for comfort in addictions and self-destructive behaviour.

How do we step away from the precipice? In Islam, the answer is remarkably simple. We turn back to our Creator. God knows what is best for His creation. He has complete knowledge of the human psyche. He knows of the pain, the despair, and the sadness. God is whom we are reaching for in the darkness. When we put God back on our agenda, the pain will subside.

"Verily, in the remembrance of God do hearts find rest." (Quran 13:28)

Islam is not a religion filled with empty rituals and hypercritical rules and regulations, although it can seem so if we forget just what our real purpose in life is. We were created to worship God, nothing more and nothing less. However, God, in His infinite mercy and wisdom did not abandon us to this world filled with trials and tribulations. He armed us with weapons. These weapons are more powerful than the arsenals of the great 21st century armies. God gave us the Qur'aan, and the authentic traditions of His Prophet Muhammad.

The Qur'aan is a book of guidance and the traditions of Prophet Muhammad explain that guidance. The religion of Islam is all about making and keeping a connection with God. This is how Islam deals with sadness and worry. When the wave is about to come crashing down or the world begins to spin out of control God is the one stable factor. The biggest mistake a believer can make is to separate the religious and material aspects of his or her life.

"God has promised those who believe (in the Oneness of God) and do deeds of righteousness, that for them there is forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise)." (Quran 5:9)

When we accept with full submission, that we are no more than slaves of God, put on this earth, to be tried, tested and tempted, life suddenly takes on a completely new meaning. We recognize that God is the one constant in our lives and we recognize that His promise is true. When we are overwhelmed by worry and sadness, relief comes from turning to God. If we live our lives according to His guidance, we gain the means and the ability to overcome any despair. Prophet Muhammad declared that all the affairs of a believer are good.

The Prophet (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer! They are all for his benefit. If he is granted ease then he is thankful, and this is good for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres, and this is good for him."[1]

Islam has the answer to all the problems that afflict humankind. It asks us to look beyond the need for self-gratification, and further still, beyond the need to acquire possessions. Islam reminds us that this life is but a transient pause on the way to life everlasting. The life of this world is but a fleeting moment, sometimes overflowing with moments of great joy and happiness but at other times filled with sadness, sorrow, and despair. This is the nature of life, and this is the human condition.

We will examine guidance from the Qur'aan and the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad in an endeavor to discover just how Islam suggests that we deal with sadness and worry. There are three key points that will allow the believer to free himself from the shackles of 21st century life. They are patience, gratitude, and trust in God. In the Arabic language, sabr, shukr and tawwakul.

"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient ones." (Quran 2:155)

"Therefore, remember Me (God) and I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favours on you) and never be ungrateful to Me." (Quran 2:152)

"If God helps you, none can overcome you; and if He forsakes you, who is there after Him that can help you? And in God (Alone) let believers put their trust." (Quran 3:160)

Happiness in this life and our salvation in the hereafter depend on patience

Sadness and worry are part of the human condition. Life is a series of moments. At the two extremes are joyful moments that make our hearts sing with gladness and dark moments that plunge us into sadness and worry. In between is real life; the highs, the lows, the mundane and boring, the sweetness, and light. It is in these times that the believer must try to establish a connection to God.

The believer must forge a bond that is unbreakable. When the joy of life fills our hearts and minds we must not forget that it is a blessing from God and equally when we are faced with sadness and worry we must realize that this too is from God, even though at first glance we may not see the blessing.

God is the Most Wise and the Most Just. Whatever condition we find ourselves in, and no matter what we are forced to confront, it is imperative that we open our eyes to the fact that God knows what is good for us. Though we shy away from facing our fears and worries, it may be that we hate a thing that is good for us and desire something that can only lead to ruin and damnation.

"...and it may be that you dislike a thing that is good for you and that you like a thing that is bad for you. God knows but you do not know." (Quran 2:216)

The life of this world was designed by our Creator to maximize our chances of living a blissful life in the Hereafter. When we face trials, they help us grow and mature into human beings who are able to function effortlessly in this transient world.

God has not abandoned us in face of the temptations and trials we face in this world, He has equipped us with potent weapons. Three of the most important are:

• Patience
• Gratefulness
• Trust

The great Islamic scholar of the 14th century CE, Ibnul Qayyim said that our happiness in this life and our salvation in the Hereafter depend on patience.

"Verily! I have rewarded them this Day for their patience; they are indeed the ones that are successful." (Quran 23:111)

"...to be firm or patient in pain or suffering, and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God fearing." (Quran 2:177)

The Arabic word for patience is sabr and it comes from a root word meaning to stop, detain, or refrain. Ibnul Qayyim explained[1] that having patience meant having the ability to stop ourselves from despairing, to refrain from complaining, and to control ourselves in times of sadness and worry. Prophet Muhammad's son in law Ali ibn Abu Talib defined patience as

"Seeking God's help".[2]

Whenever we are beset by sadness and worry our first reaction should always be turning to God. By recognizing His Greatness and Omnipotence, we begin to understand that God alone can ease our troubled souls. God Himself advised us to call on Him,
"And (all) the Most Beautiful Names belong to Allah, so call on Him by them, and leave the company of those who belie or deny (or utter impious speech against) His Names." (Quran 7:180)

Prophet Muhammad encouraged us to call on God by all of His most beautiful names. In his own supplications, he is known to have said, "Oh God, I ask you by every name that You have named yourself, or that You have revealed in Your book, or that You have taught any of Your creation, or that You have kept hidden in the unseen knowledge with Yourself."[3]

In times of sorrow and stress, contemplating the names of God can bring great relief. It can also help us focus on being calm and patient. It is important to understand that although the believer is encouraged not to thrash about in grief and anguish or to complain about the stresses and problems, he is allowed to turn to God and supplicate to Him and to ask Him for relief.

Human beings are frail. Our tears fall, our hearts break and the pain is sometimes almost unbearable. Even the Prophets, whose connection to God was unbreakable, felt their hearts constrict in fear or pain. They too turned their faces to God and begged for relief. However, their complaints were surrounded with pure patience and pure acceptance of whatever fate God had decreed.
When Prophet Jacob despaired of ever seeing his sons Joseph or Benjamin he turned to God, and the Quran tells us that he beseeched God for relief. Prophet Jacob knew that there was no point in raging against the world, he knew that God loves and protects those who are patient, "He said: `I only complain of my grief and sorrow to God, and I know from God that which you know not.'" (Quran 12:86)

Qur'aan also tells us that Prophet Job turned to God begging of His mercy. He was impoverished, stricken with disease, and he lost his family, friends, and livelihood yet he bore all this with patience and forbearance and he turned to God,

"And (remember) Job, when he cried to his Lord, `Verily, distress has seized me, and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy.' So We answered his call, and We removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his family to him (that he had lost), and the like thereof along with them, as a mercy from Ourselves and a Reminder for all who worship Us (God)." (Quran 21: 83-84)

Patience means accepting what is beyond our control. In times of stress and anxiety, being able to surrender to the will of God is a relief beyond measure. This does not mean that we sit back and let life pass by. No! It means that we strive to please God in all aspects of our life, in our work and play, in our family life and in our personal endeavors.

However, when things don't go the way we planned or the way we wanted, even when it seems that fears and worries are pushing us under, we accept what God has decreed and continue to strive to please Him. Being patient is hard work; it does not always come naturally or easily. Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, said, "Whoever tries to be patient then God will help him to be patient".[4]

It becomes easy for us to exercise patience when we realize that it is impossible to count all the blessings God has bestowed upon us. The air we breathe, the sunshine on our faces, the wind through our hair, the rain on the parched earth and the glorious Quran, God's words to us are all among the innumerable blessings of God upon us. Remembering God and contemplating His greatness is the key to patience, and patience is a key to Paradise everlasting, God's greatest blessing for the fragile creatures called humankind.

Gratitude - Give thanks every single day for His blessings upon you

As fragile human beings, we are often swamped by fears and anxiety. At times sadness and worry threaten to take over our lives. These emotions can become so consuming that we forget our primary purpose in life, which is to worship God. When pleasing God is at the centre of all our thoughts, actions and deeds, then sadness and worry can have no place in our lives.

Another way of overcoming sadness and worry is by being grateful to God for His countless blessings. God explains in the Qur'aan, that true worshippers are those who are grateful and give thanks.

"Therefore, remember Me (by praying, glorifying, etc.). I will remember you, and be grateful to Me (for My countless Favors on you) and never be ungrateful to Me." (Quran 2:152)

There are many ways to express gratitude. The first and foremost way is to worship God in the manner that He has prescribed. The Five Pillars of Islam[1] were ordained upon us by God and they guide us to worship Him easily. When we fulfill our obligations towards God, just how truly blessed we are becomes obvious.

When we bear witness that, there is no god worthy of worship but Allah and that Muhammad is His Final Messenger we are being grateful for being blessed with Islam. When a believer prostrates before God in quiet, joyful prayer, we are expressing gratitude. During the fast of Ramadhaan, we become thankful for food and water by realizing that God provides our sustenance. If a believer is able to make the pilgrimage to the House of God in Mecca, it is indeed a cause for thankfulness. The Hajj journey can be long, difficult, and expensive.

The believer also expresses gratitude by giving charity. Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, advised his followers to give charity everyday to express gratitude to God for every single joint or faculty in his body.[2] Imam Ibn Rajab, a noted Islamic scholar of the 7th Islamic century said,

"Human beings are obligated to give thanks to God every single day for His blessings on them by performing acts of virtue and charity on a daily basis."

If we remember God by reading the Qur'aan and contemplating its meanings, we gain a greater understanding of the life of this world and the hereafter. Consequently, we begin to understand the transient nature of this life and the fact that even the trials and tribulations are blessings from God. God's wisdom and justice is inherent in even the direst situations.

How often have we heard people with debilitating diseases or terrible disabilities thank God for their conditions, or speak about pain and suffering bringing blessings and goodness into their lives? How often have we listened to others speak about horrific experiences and ordeals, yet continue to thank God?

In times of sadness and worry, when we are feeling alone and distressed, God is our only refuge. When sadness and worry become unbearable, when there is nothing left but, stress, fear, anxiety, and misery, we instinctively turn to God. We know His words are true, we know His promise is true!

"..if you are grateful, I will add more favors unto you." (Quran 14:7)

God knows the wisdom behind why good things happen to bad people, or why bad things happen to good people. In general, whatever causes us to turn to God is good and we should be grateful for it. In times of crisis, people are drawn closer to God, whereas in times of comfort we often forget from where the comfort originated. God is the Provider and He is the Most Generous. God wants to reward us with life everlasting and if pain and suffering can guarantee Paradise, then trials and tribulations are a blessing. Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, said, "If God wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials."[3]

Prophet Muhammad also said, "No misfortune or disease befalls a Muslim, no worry or grief or harm or distress – not even a thorn that pricks him – but God will expiate for some of his sins because of that."[4] We are imperfect human beings. We can read these words, we can even understand the sentiment behind them, but acknowledging the wisdom behind every situation and being grateful for our trials is very difficult. It is much easier to fall into sadness and worry. However, God, the Most Merciful, gives us clear guidelines and promises two things, if we worship Him and follow His guidance we will be rewarded with Paradise and that with hardship comes ease.

"So verily, with hardship, there is ease." (Quran 94:5)

This verse is part of a chapter of the Quran revealed when difficulties in Prophet Muhammad's mission were weighing him down and causing him distress. The words of God comforted and reassured him just as they comfort us today. God reminds us that with hardship comes ease. Hardship is never absolute; it is always accompanied by ease. For that, we should be grateful. For that, we need to express our gratitude.

We must accept the trials, triumphs, and tribulations that are part of being alive. Each one of them, from the highest highs to the lowest lows is a blessing from God. A blessing designed uniquely for each individual person. When we are overcome by sadness or worry we must turn to God, strive to be patient and grateful and put our trust in God. For God is the most trustworthy. By trusting Him, we can overcome any moment of anxiety and conquer any sadness or worry that tries to creep into our lives.

_______________

References:

[1] Saheeh Muslim
[2] Ibn Qayyim al jawziyyah, 1997, Patience and gratitude, English translation, United Kingdom, Ta Ha Publishers.
[3] Ibid. P12
[4] Ahmad, classified Saheeh by Al Baniv.
[5] Ibn Qayyim al jawziyyah, 1997, Patience and gratitude, English translation, United Kingdom, Ta Ha Publishers. P15
[6] Testimony of faith, Prayer, Fasting in Ramadan, Compulsory charity, Pilgrimage.
[7] Saheeh Bukhari
[8] Saheeh Bukhari
[9] Ibid

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I have now spent nearly an eighth of my life in prison. Life in prison is a journey into the unknown. Unlike other journeys it is one of those things that you can never plan ahead for. You don’t plan to have a car accident. You don’t plan to get cancer. You don’t plan to die. And you don’t plan to go to prison. Prison is just one of the many tests that you must pass in order to succeed in life.

The Prophet (saw) said, “There is some magic in words.” Tyrants use the magic in words to control people’s thoughts and deeds by making evil appear acceptable to them. So kidnap is known as “arrest”, brutality becomes “reasonable force” and torture is nothing more than “enhanced interrogation.” When an innocent man is kidnapped from his home by bearded Arab gunmen and locked indefinitely in a room he is a “hostage.” But when an innocent man is kidnapped from his home by uniformed white gunmen and locked indefinitely in a room he is a “terrorist.” The world causes uproar over the former but is silent over the latter.

“In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends,”

observed Martin Luther King.

Fear is a disease that consumes the soul of the one who embraces it. Man’s total capacity to fear is fixed: the more he fears one thing the less he fears another. People fear standing up to a tyrant because they are afraid of some harm that he ‘may’ cause them, even though that harm is limited to the life of this world. Such people have little or no fear for any harm that Allah will cause them in the Hereafter.

However, if these same people were to fear the Day when they shall return to stand before the Lord of the Worlds, they would not fear any tyrant on the face of the Earth. “Do they fear them? Allah is more worthy for you to fear if you are indeed believers.” (Quran 9:13)

We survive in life by wearing a variety of faces that disguise our true inner selves. We have one face for our families, a face for our friends, a face for our colleagues, and a face for strangers. Since we are always switching between faces others hardly get to see who we really are. Sometimes we ourselves forget who we are. The harsh reality of prison life relentlessly files away at your external faces and personae to reveal the true you. There are no secrets in prison. Sincerity, hypocrisy, bravery, cowardice, good, evil – all are laid bare. Prison brings out the best, and worst, in people.

Prisoners undergo such a concentrated experience that they develop intensely deep personalities. We interact with each other heart-to-heart, not face-to-face. Our conversations frequently revolve around hope. No man, let alone a prisoner, can live without hope: hope that there is indeed a dawn at the end of this long, dark night. What else do you say to a man facing life in prison?

People are like “metals”, according to one narration of the Prophet Muhammad (saw). Some people are like a cheap bracelet plated in gold: the smallest crisis files away the fake gold to reveal the cheap metal underneath. Others are like a gold bracelet covered in rust: hardship rubs away the rust to bring out the gold below to the surface. And a third type are solid gold, inside and out: calamity just polishes the gold so it sparkles from near and far.

During the last four years I have personally witnessed the worst of men turn into the best of men. I have seen gangsters, drug barons, armed robbers and murderers, of all faiths and races, convert to Islam in prison. I have always been inspired by converts since every conversion is a miracle, but seeing a hardened criminal accept Islam is something else. Only the true religion is able to cause genuine, lasting change in an individual in a short space of time.

The first word revealed in the Quran was “Read!” There is no life without reading. Reading beneficial writing is one of those pleasures that makes you forget you are in prison. During the last four years in prison I have travelled back in time and all over the world. I have visited Jerusalem during the Crusades. I have lived in Muslim Spain. I have accompanied African slaves as they were kidnapped by European slavemasters. I have shared in the suffering of the Native Indians in North America. And I have lived with leaders, hostages, death row inmates and journalists as their writings narrated to me their stories.

Yet all of these writings amount to nothing compared to the one book that has helped me through my ordeal the most: the Glorious Quran. It is my breakfast, lunch and dinner. If I do not read my daily portion at dawn, my heart feels heavy by mid-morning. The Quran is not just a book that mentions stories which are centuries old: it is a book that mentions the present. “We have certainly sent down to you a Book in which is your mention. Will you then not reason?” (Quran 21:10)

Whosoever reads the Quran and reflects on it will find himself and his situation mentioned therein. This is only one of its many miracles.

Prison teaches you not to be judgemental of others, but to treat everyone at face value. When you deal with fellow prisoners you must deal with their present, not their past. That is the only way you will get through prison. Prison hardens you in some aspects, and softens you in others. It humbles you: laying bare your shortcomings. Since much of prison time is spent reflecting on your own past, all of your life’s wrongs come to the surface. Man cannot progress in life until he acknowledges his weaknesses and mistakes. Acknowledging that a problem exists is half of its solution.

Prison has taught me that there is a part of you that no-one can ever take from you, and that is your heart. For the heart is where true happiness resides. When you reach the stage where you are content with your destiny you have defeated your captors and become the most powerful prisoner in the world. This is what belief in Divine Destinyis all about. It is to be happy with whatever Allah has decreed for you: to be happy with your life, to be happy whether you are rich, poor, tall, short, dark or fair. When you are satisfied with your lot in life, you have won.

Every hardship is like being in prison. People feel imprisoned by ill-health, marital discord, financial insecurity, family disputes and other problems. To anyone who feels imprisoned by life’s problems I would say: be content with what you already have and never lose hope of things getting better. Be happy with your share because this is a quality of someone who truly loves Allah. When the Companion Muadh ibn Jabal (ra) was undergoing the pangs and agonies of death, he cried out,

“O Allah! Bear witness that I love You, so do with me whatsoever You wish!”

I would never have wanted to come to prison, but, looking back at these four years, I am glad that I did. I have ventured close to breaking point but due to Allah’s Grace and the support of some wonderful people I have not yet crossed it. My ordeal has been harsh, difficult and exhausting, but it has also been an adventure. Some of the happiest days of my life have been in prison. I have had experiences in prison and met people that I will never forget.

The writer Mustapha Sadiq Ar-Rafei wrote,

“When I looked into history I found a small number of individuals whose lives mirrored the lifecycle of a grain of wheat. They were torn from their roots, then crushed, then ground in mills, then kneaded with fists, then rolled out and baked in ovens at high temperatures… just so they could provide food for others.”

Patiently persevere in the face of hardship hoping for a good outcome because you never know how many dead hearts you will bring to life in the process. No hardship lasts forever. There is always an end.

(Babar Ahmad is a 34 year old British Muslim and the longest detained-without-charge British detainee held as part of the global ‘war on terror’. In December 2003 Babar was arrested at his London home under anti-terror legislation. By the time he reached the police station Babar had sustained at least 73 forensically recorded injuries, including bleeding in his ears and urine. Six days later he was released without charge.

Babar then filed a formal complaint that he had been subjected to horrific physical, sexual and religious abuse by the arresting police officers. An IPCC supervised investigation later dismissed his complaint and even “commended” one of these officers for his “great bravery” in arresting him. Babar is currently suing the Metropolitan Police for assault.

In August 2004 Babar was re-arrested in London and taken to prison pursuant to an extradition request from the US under the controversial, no-evidence-required, Extradition Act 2003. The US has alleged that in the 1990s Babar was a supporter of “terrorism”. Babar denies any involvement in terrorism. He has now been in prison for four years even
though he has not been charged in the UK.

Babar’s family, friends and campaigners have mounted a high profile campaign for his release. He recently appeared in the news when it was revealed that the police had bugged his prison visits with his MP, Sadiq Khan (Labour-Tooting). His final appeal against extradition is at The European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg, which is due to decide on it shortly. If extradited he faces the rest of his natural life in solitary confinement in a maximum security US ‘Supermax’ prison. Further details on his case are at www.freebabarahmad.com.)

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The actual physical heart in our breast beats at about 100,000 times a day, pumping two gallons of blood per minute, 100 gallons per hour, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year for an entire life time! The vascular system that sends this life-giving blood is over 60,000 miles long: it is more than two times the circumference of the earth. Furthermore, it is interesting to note that the heart starts beating before the brain is formed; the heart begins to beat without any central nervous system. The dominant theory was that the central nervous system is what is controlling the entire human being from the brain, yet we know now that in fact the nervous system does not initiate the heartbeat. It is actually self-initiated; we would say, it is initiated by Allah (subhanahu wa t'aalaa).

The heart is the center of the human being. Many people think the brain is the center of consciousness, yet the Qur'aan clearly states, "They have hearts that they are not able to understand with." According to the Muslims, the center of human consciousness is the heart and not the brain itself, and it is only recently that human beings have learned there are over 40,000 neurons in the heart; in other words, there are cells in the heart that are communicating. Now, it is understood that there is two-way communication between the brain and the heart: the brain sends messages to the heart, but the heart also sends messages to the brain. The brain receives these messages from the heart, which reach the amygdala and the thalamus. The cortex receives input from the amygdala and thalamus that it processes to produce emotion; the new cortex relates to learning and reasoning. These processes are recent discoveries, and although we do not fully understand them, we do know that the heart is an extremely sophisticated organ.

According to a hadeeth, the heart is a source of knowledge. The Prophet, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said that wrong action is what irritates the heart. Thus, the heart actually knows wrong actions, and this is one of the reasons why people can do terrible things, but, ultimately, they are affected negatively.

In Crime and Punishment, the brilliant Russian author Dostoevsky's indicates that crime itself is the perpetrator's punishment because human beings have to live with the result of their actions: their souls are affected. When people do something against the heart, they act against the soul, and that actually affects human beings to the degree that they will go into a state of spiritual agitation, and people will use many ways to cover this up.

This is what kufur is: "kufur" means "covering up." To hide their agitation, people use alcohol, drugs, and sexual experimentation; they also seek power, wealth, and fame, taking themselves into a state of heedlessness, submerging themselves into the ephemeral world which causes them to forget their essential nature and to forget their hearts. Thus, people become cut off from their hearts.

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As long as You are not angry with me then I do not care,

For me is the model of Musab bin Umayr,

The best dressed man in the city,

But that was for him a state of pity.

Until there came to him the Message,

All did he leave of his privilege,

For the sake of Allah and His Beloved.

As long as You are not angry with me then I do not care,

For I think of Bilal when his chest was bare,

On the burning sand did they make him lie,

Until he thought he was going to die.

They crushed him with rocks in the blazing sun,

And begged him to reject the Almighty One,

But never did he give in to the wicked.

As long as You are not angry with me then I do not care,

I remember Khabbaab when they pulled his hair,

In the blacksmiths of his evil mistress,

With burning rods did she cause him distress.

She twisted his neck and burnt his skin,

Until his fat dripped into a tin,

But he remained firm to his belief as long as he lived.

As long as You are not angry with me then I do not care,

For I picture Khubaib when he was there,

Tied and bound to an immovable tree,

With no chance of him being free.

Their spears and arrows did they fling,

Yet grapes to him did his Lord bring,

Until his noble soul was lifted.

As long as You are not angry with me then I do not care,

I think of Yasir, Sumaiyah and their heir,

Even when placed on sizzling ember,

None but their Lord did they remember.

Patience you all when paying this price,

Indeed your abode is Paradise.

"O Lord! Forgive my people for they do not know,"

And even though I am feeling so low...

As long as You are not angry with me, then I do not care.

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By virtue of being created as human beings, we will be tested. We will be thrown into countless trials, into situations that may arise unpleasant and awkward, and into times of difficulty when it seems as though there is little reason to hope.

Tests will come at us from every direction; events will test the very core of our character and the strength of our beliefs. And these are the tests we cannot afford to fail. And Allah, Glory be to Him, has not left us empty-handed.

Building our knowledge and our characters as Muslims is the only way to overcome the mild to the severe trials we will face every day until we die. He says, "Have you not seen how Allah has given the parable of a beautiful word like a beautiful tree whose roots are firmly established, and whose branches tower in the sky? It gives its fruits at all times by the permission of its Lord, and Allah sets forth parables for mankind in order that they may remember" (Quran, 14: 24-25).

A "beautiful word" in this verse refers to the Islamic statement of belief: la illaha ill Allah (there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah). And the verse goes on to refer to a beautiful tree, which illustrates the character of a believer.

According to this verse, a believer is one whose Eemaan, or faith, is unwavering and firmly established. He or she cannot be swayed from the straight path by the winds of trials, no matter how fierce the storm. Knowing and believing that there is no being worthy of worship except Allah, Glory be to Him, and following His commandments provides a believer with the stability and confidence he or she needs to succeed.

A believer's branches also, "tower in the sky" like that of the beautiful tree. By this analogy, a believer's Eemaan cannot remain hidden. A Muslim cannot claim to have Eemaan solely in the heart, without showing it in his or her actions.

Contrary to that, Eemaan is something so significant that by its nature, it must be seen by anyone who looks at or interacts with a Muslim. Your Eemaan raises you up to a higher moral level, just as the braches of the beautiful tree reach upwards towards to the sky.

These verses also mention that this tree that is compared with a true believer, "gives its fruits at all times by the permission of its Lord." The tree of Eemaan is ever fruitful, unlike a real tree that only gives fruits at certain times of the year.

Your faith and your belief in la illaha ill Allah sustains you night and day, in every season, during times of ease and times of great hardship. This is the parable of the believer whose good deeds never take a vacation – they are continuous throughout the day and the night. The chapter goes on to say, "And the parable of an evil word is that of an evil tree uprooted from the surface of earth having no stability" (Quran 14: 26). An "evil word" in this verse refers to disbelief.

The verse describes the powerlessness and volatility of disbelief – it has no basis and he or she who disbelieves has little stability in life. The trials and difficulties of life can easily uproot such a person.

May Allah, Glory be to Him, make us be of those who are firmly rooted in their beliefs.

Islamic history is riddled with examples of Muslims who withstood tests that would seem unimaginably difficult today.

The Muslims of the past had an abundance of patience and perseverance which are two important traits of this beautiful tree of Iman.

Two Muslims who were of the most firmly rooted of believers were Sumayyah and Yasir, may God be pleased with them. After being among the first Muslims and agreeing to accept Islam in a very tumultuous period, Sumayyah and Yasir along with their son Ammar were tortured mercilessly at the hands of Abu Jahl. The family was left unprotected since they had no tribal affiliations in Makkah.

Unable to physically help them at the time, the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, would visit them and say, "be patient, O family of Yasir, because your promised place is Paradise." He would then turn his face to the sky and say, "O Lord! Forgive the family of Yasir." The Prophet (peace be upon him) also prayed for the alleviation of Ammar's suffering by placing Ammar's head in his lap and saying, "O fire! Be cool and harmless for Ammar in the same manner in which you became cool and harmless for Ibrahim."

Sumayyah and Yasir were both martyred in the cause of Allah, Glory be to Him, after refusing to leave their faith which was dearer to them than life itself. The family was honoured with the best of honours: the Prophet's guarantee of their home in paradise. These are the examples we should take as guides to our own lives. Too often do we compromise what we believe in to accommodate the uneducated assumptions of others. Too often do we forget the immense history of Islaam and Muslims.

One of the reasons we have the gift of Islaam is because we can stand with the examples of people like Sumayyah and Yasir, may Allah be pleased with them. People who did not waver, did not compromise their Eemaan to please others or even to save their own lives. Just like in our Islamic history, our strength as a community and as individuals today can only stem from the remembrance of and obedience to Allah, Glory be to Him. These times are difficult and the pain often hits close to home. But by holding fast to our belief in la illaha ill Allah, we will stay firmly rooted, our branches will tower high towards the sky, and our hearts will never lack sustenance, Allah willing.

Allah tells us that we will be tested. He also makes it clear to us what is expected from us when we undergo these trials and what our reward will be if we are successful.

He says: “Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives and the fruits (of your toil) but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who, when misfortune strikes them, say: ‘Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him is our return. Those are the ones upon whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord and it is those who are rightly guided.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 155]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his sins by it." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]

In another narration, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “No Muslim is afflicted by harm, whether it is but the prick of a thorn or something worse, without Allah expiating his evil deeds on account of it and his sins falling away from him like leaves off a tree.'" [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "When Allah desires good for someone, He tries him with hardships." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî]

In reality, the entire Sacred Law is a tremendous blessing for us in this life and the next.

Obligations that initially seem difficult to fulfill have a polishing effect on the heart until eventually the one's entire perspective changes. Outward submission leads to inward submission and heart fills with love and gratitude for Allah.

Obligations are not meant to be hammered out reluctantly; they are meant to be offered in the spirit of heartfelt gratitude to Allah for the myriad blessings that each of us has been given. Someone who has realized this state will do everything for Allah; "worldly" activities such as eating, drinking, and conversing with friends are all performed with the intention of drawing closer to Allah.

Such a person will not worry over possible future problems, nor will he grieve over past difficulties, for he is busy with the One he loves. This is true happiness and anyone who misses out on it will never know the meaning of contentment.

So know that Allah is testing us because he wants good for us and he wants to see if we are going to come closer to him or more further away from him.

Shaytaan is wanting us to weaken and fail the tests from Allah so will we let shaytaan win? Or will we make the best of these opportunities and get closer to Allah than we have EVER been?

For if we are patient then Allah is with us so NOTHING can hurt or effect us!

Allah mentions in the Qur'an, “Indeed Allah is with those who are patient.”

If one is patient, and is among the ones described in the following manner in the Qur’an (al-Baqarah (2): 256)

The Reward for Patience is Paradise

‘Ata ibn Rabah related that he heard Ibn ‘Abbas say, “Shall I show you a woman of Paradise?” I said: “Yes, indeed.” He said: “A black woman came to the Prophet, peace be upon him, and said: ‘I suffer from epileptic fits, and because of these, (at times) my body becomes uncovered. Would you invoke Allah, the Exalted One, to cure me of this disease?‘

The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, ‘If you wish, you can be patient and you will attain Paradise (for this suffering). But if you prefer, I will pray to Allah, the Exalted, to cure you of it?’

The woman said, ‘I will be patient,’ then added: ‘I become uncovered (when I have fits), so invoke Allah for me that I do not become uncovered.' The Prophet, peace be upon him, then prayed for her.” [Source: Fiqh-us-Sunnah, volume 4, #1a]

Therefore, tests and calamitys can really be a blessing in disguise. If we bear with these tests, with patience and hoping for a reward from Allah, Allah willing, we may attain the Paradise of delights with complete happiness and joy...

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...First of all, it is clear that the prison system here is inept. They call this place a 'correctional facility', but I see very little correction of anyone going on around me. Most of the prisoners I've had the chance to speak to are repeat offenders, meaning they were previously jailed here, released, committed more crimes (often the same one), and were brought back. Some have been brought back so many times that they consider this home, and they consider release to be a temporary visit to some strange place. I can't deny that some are beyond hope, but the point is that people are pulled off the streets and brought in here, and nobody makes a single serious effort to get them to change their ways or give them hope of an alternative lifestyle. For example, I was in the prison van yesterday on my way back from court and struck up a conversation with a guy next to me who was losing it. So, I calmed him down, and told him to stay positive, and use his time here to clean his heart and mind, get stronger, and learn more about himself and his purpose in life, and that way he could gain more from prison than he ever would outside. he just looked at me and said, "That's the first time anyone has said something like that to me since I got here," and my words were quite simply and easy...

There are roughly 1,700 prisoners here. The only rehabilitation programs here take 50 prisoners every four months--combined! So, the remaining 1,650 are being "corrected" by people who for the most part are just here to finish an 8-hour shift and go home without a headache, and couldn't care less about the futures and interests of those they are responsible for. It's a real shame, because the way I see it, a lot of good can be done by just passing each prisoner's cell and sitting down for a short chat to let him know that he can make better choices in life, he should keep his head up, etc. Such simple, brief exchanges can go a long way in changing someone's life, if only this was the purpose of such a facility. Society in general would become much better if this approach were taken by prison staff. If you've ever seen the movie 'American History X', the turn of events there is a good example of how this can come about.

Another concept that has been reinforced in my mind is that no matter how bad things may be going for a given person, there is always someone worse off. There is always that one person you meet who gives you a reality check that reminds you that even though you are in prison going through hardship, etc., there are still things that you can take for granted. Case in point: a fellow prisoner I learned of who was just moved into the isolation unit a few cells down from me, who I had a chance to speak to when he was being moved. He told me his story, and I asked him how often he called his family, to which he replied that his mother literally told him to never contact her again until he was out. He was nearly in tears--a grown man--while questioning how a mother can turn away from her son in such a manner at his greatest time of need. After I spoke to him, I tried to put myself in his shoes, and I came to realize that despite whatever I'm going through, I never once had to worry about my family forsaking me or abandoning me. In our culture, it's generally unfathomable. However, it is these reality checks that clarify that what might be guaranteed for some isn't guaranteed for all, and we should thus realize at all times that no matter how bad you may have it, you have things that grown men will cry for. So, thanks and praise to Allah for giving us what we have.

Another example that just popped into my mind is something I read in the newspaper today. It was about a woman who had been attacked by a chimpanzee weighing 200 lbs coming on TV and showing what the chimp had done to her face: her eyes were so severely attacked that she is now blind. A flap of skin now sits where her nose used to be. Her cheeks are a series of tears, gashes, and scars. She is unrecognizable, and can only eat through a straw. I just read that, shook my head, and realized that something as basic as having an intact face, having a nose, being able to see--these were luxuries I have that this woman is now deprived of. 

Another benefit of being here is that you come to realize that the Muslim's relationship with Allah is one of give and take, and good and desirable things don't come easy. If you want something valuable, you have to be able to come up with money for it. We sometimes will wish for something, make du'aa' (supplication) that it comes to be, have high hopes, but our level of faith, worship, and attachment to Allah isn't changed at all, because we don't tend to these while making the du'aa' (supplication) for what we want. As a result, we don't achieve the desired outcome.

In the Hadith Qudsi, Allah says, "Whoever shows hostility to a Wali (friend) of Mine, I will declare war on him." So, we often pay attention to the entire sentence except for the 'Wali' part, as well as what comes next. A person reaches this level of closeness to Allah by performing many nawafil (extra) deeds--praying more, fasting more, giving more charity--so much so that Allah becomes his hearing, seeing, etc. Instead of just praying his normal twelve extra rak'aat (units of prayer), he prays twenty. Instead of praying a third of the night, he boosts it up to half the night. He makes his sujood (prostration) longer. He reads two two Juzz of the Qur'aan a day instead of his regular one juzz! He fasts four days a week instead of two. He makes his way through a series of adhkaar (formulas of remembrance) that is twice as long as what he would normally do--basically, he puts in more of his time and energy to worship Allah, and shows Him that he truly wants to become close to Him, truly wants His wilaayah (friendship, guardianship), truly loves Him, truly sees himself as a slave who is broken, humbled, weak, and is simply manifesting the reason he exists. Such a person wants to dig deeper into the treasures of faith, worship, and attachment to Allah. He knows that attachment to Allah is of levels, and he doesn't rest and is not satisfied with himself until he reaches the highest level that he can of this attachment. Only then can we complete the Hadeeth (Prophetic Narration) and say, "...If he asks Me, I will give him what he wants, and if he asks for My Protection, I will Protect him."

Reaching this level isn't easy. It takes sincerity, persistence, resolve, conviction, true certainty that Allah will give you what you want if you reach the finish line, and it requires consistency. We can't be like the people Allah describes in verse 12 and verses 22--23 in Surat Yunus, who reach this level of humility and need before Allah, get the relief they want, and then go back to the way they were before they needed relief from Him.

The point is that the deeper you go into these levels of servitude to Allah, the more evident and swift your need will be met. The level of certainty Prophet Musa had standing before the Red Sea splitting, the level of humility and need Yunus felt when he was released form the whale's grasp, the lengthy du'aa' (supplicattion) the Prophet Muhammad made before the Battle of Badr--all of these are examples of a deep level of attachment to Allah that went beyond what would exist on a daily basis while we're living in comfort, ease, and security, and this is part of the reason the response to their distress was quite literally miraculous. We can achieve the same to some extent if we reach deep enough into those treasures. And we can do that now, whether or not we are in dire need of something from Allah at the moment. And we are all in need of Him...

These are just a few of the thoughts that have occupied my mind lately. I would like to close this letter by mentioning an incident with Babar Ahmad that I have heard shortly before I was arrested. In it, he says that a fellow prisoner was about to be released. So, Babar said, "I want to apologize to you before you leave." The man asked, "For what?" Babar replied,

"When I was free, I saw your story on TV. However, it meant nothing to me, because I never thought it could happen to me. So, I did nothing for you. Now that I am in prison and it has happened to me, there are people who heard about my story and will think nothing of it, thinking it will never happen to them. Once it happens to them, others will think nothing of it and do nothing, etc..."

So, if you feel that you can just sit back and read about all these cases and do nothing to repel this injustice and that it can never happen to you, think again.

26th of Dhu al-Qa'dah, 1430 / 14th of November, 2009.

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Patience is half of faith; for this is a quality composed of patience and gratitude (Shukr). As one of the Pious Predecessors (Salaf) has said,

Faith is in two halves:

One half patience,

the other half is gratitude.

Allah, the Most High, said, "Indeed in that there are signs for each one who is patiently persevering and truly grateful" [Noble Quran 14:5]

Patience in relation to faith is like the head in relation to the body. It is of three types:

1. Patience concerning the obligations (Fardh) laid down by Allah, that one should not neglect them.
2. Patience in abstaining from actions forbidden by Him, that one should not commit them.
3. Patience concerning His judgments (Qadr) and decrees (Qadar), that one should not resent them.

Whoever perfectly fulfills these three degrees has perfected patience. For the pleasure of this world and the next, their blessings, and victory and conquest can only be reached over the bridge of patience, just as no-one reaches Paradise except by crossing over the Path. 'Umar b. al-Khattab said,

"We attained the best of life through patience."

If you reflect on the degrees of perfection acquired in the world, you will see that they are all dependent on patience. And if you reflect on imperfection, which one is blamed for possessing, you will see it all stemming from lack of patience. Thus courage and purity, goodness and love of others, all this is the patience of an hour.

Most sicknesses of the body and heart arise simply from lack of patience. And there is naught like patience for preserving the health of hearts, bodies and spirits. For it is the great remedy, the mighty antidote, even if it were to contain only the company of Allah..

"..for Allah is with the patient" [Noble Quran 2:153]

....and His affection for them for indeed...

"Allah loves those who are patient" [Noble Quran 3:146]

....and His giving victory to His people 'for victory comes with patience'; and that it is a good for the people of patience,

"And if you show patience, that is indeed the best course for those who are patient" [Noble Quran 16:126]

....and that it is the cause of prosperity;

Source: The Prophetic medicine.

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Every breath of a human, every moment of his or hers life in all religious traditions, their teachings, their guidance, their viewpoints, their perspectives is worth more than a priceless gem. These breaths the human being takes in order to survive in life and the moments of life itself are like the pearls of a necklace. Just as a pearl will embellish the appearance of that neck that wears the necklace of pearls, in the same way the life of a individual is enhanced by that person who looks after the moments of his life.

No treasure trove of any Ruler, no Sultanate of any Sultan, no Kingdom of any King, no Rulership of any Queen in tantamount is equal in value to one moment of an individuals life. Life in-fact in numerous places of the Qur'aan, either directly or indirectly, is described by Allah as a favour on human beings.

In one verse of the Qur'aan, Allah says: "How can you disbelieve? Seeing that you were dead and He gave you life. Then He will give you death, then again will bring you to life (on the Day of Resurrection) and then unto Him you will return." (Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 28)

Out of all the bounties Allah has bestowed upon human beings, the most precious is the gift of life. Each one us should remember that this life Allah has granted us, it is not our personal possession or our personal property. In-fact it is a trust from Allah, making us merely trustees. Because we are trustees we should utilise each and every moment of our lives in the paths that please Allah.

In one verse of the Quraan Allah informs mankind, "And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)". (Surah Adh-Dhariyat Verse 56)

From this verse we can learn the reason why Allah created mankind.

How precious this gift of life is, can be learnt through the Holy Quraan, Ahadeeth (Traditions and Sayings of Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) and the Shari'ah (Islamic Law).

For instance, in one verse of the Quraan, Allah says,

"He has forbidden you only the carrion (flesh of dead animals), and blood, and flesh of swine, and that which is slaughtered as a sacrifice for others than Allah (or has been slaughtered for idols, on which Allah’s Name has not been mentioned whilst slaughtering). But if one is forced by necessity without wilful disobedience nor transgressing due limits, then there is no sin on him. Truly, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 173)

In the closing stages of this verse Allah talks about one who is forced to consume Haraam (unlawful) items due to the fear of death. Allah says, then there is no sin in him. For example, one is in severe hunger, such hunger that could lead to ones death, he consumes something that is Haraam (unlawful) e.g. Carrion, on the Day of Judgement he will not be questioned regarding these Haraam (Unlawful) items he consumed in order to save his life. Similarly one is fasting in the Month of Ramadhaan and severe thirst over-takes him, again it is permissible for him to break his fast in order to saves ones life. Even if he broke the fast by consuming Haraam (Unlawful) fluids e.g. Blood, Alcohol he will not be questioned regarding this. From this verse we can undoubtedly acknowledge how precious and valuable life is in the eyes of the Almighty Allah.

Life in many people’s opinion is a journey. Some even sees it as a pilgrimage. In the Islamic perspective it is a journey far beyond death. It is like a trip around the world. We stop in many different Continents, Countries, Cities, Towns and Villages. Some bring happiness and some give us grief. The white beaches, beautiful rainforests, buildings etc would force a smile on the face of many a person regardless of what grief he is in, but the sight of the poor, war-stricken and weak will give one intense grief. Life is a test from Allah, He tests people in various ways and times. He tests some by blessing them with countless bounties to see if the servant appreciates what he has been blessed with by Allah and he shows gratitude towards Allah for blessing him with these bounties. At times Allah in his infinite wisdom, puts a person in intense grief, to see if the servant turns to Allah and seeks guidance and help.

Excellent examples of both situations are found in the life and story of the Prophet of Allah, Ayyub (as). Allah granted him many bounties, then he gave him such illness that the people around him could not bear. Prophet Ayyub (as) turned to Allah for help and Allah in his infinite mercy returned all the past bounties upon him. In some narrations it has been said that Allah gave him more bounties than the amount he had before his illness.

In the Qur'aan Allah has mentioned the call for help of Prophet Ayyub (as). Allah says, "And (Remember) Ayyub (Job), when he cried to his Lord: "Verily, distress has seized me, and you are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy". So We answered his call, and removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his family to him (that he had lost) and the like thereof along with them as a mercy from Ourselves and a reminder for all those who worship Us." (Surah Al-Anbiya Verse 83-84)

In another Surah of the Quraan Allah says regarding Prophet Ayyub (as), "And remember Our slave Ayyub (Job), when he invoked his Lord (saying):"Verily Satan has touched me with distress (by ruining my health) and torment (by ruining my wealth)! (Allah said to him): "Strike the ground with your foot: This is (a spring of) water to wash in, cool and a (refreshing) drink". And We gave him back his family, and along with them the like thereof, as a Mercy from Us, and a Reminder for those who understand."And take in your hand a bundle of thin grass and strike therewith (your wife), and break not your oath. Truly, We found him patient. How excellent a slave! Verily, he was ever oft- returning in repentance (to Us)."

Like Prophet Ayyub, each and every one of us is tested by Allah in someway or another. Some turn to Allah and seek help, as in the case of Prophet Ayyub and others turn completely to the opposite side, which leaves many in grief. These people upon whom many grieve and mourn are the people who have turned to suicide.

Suicide, or self-killing, has been known throughout the whole of recorded history and has been a phenomenon in every culture and social setting. It was noted in the Biblical Times within the Jewish and Christian faiths. It is mentioned in the Bhagavad Gita within the Hindu faith, in classical Greece and Rome, and later throughout the Middle-Ages, when the reaction to the heresy of suicide was severe hostility from the Universal Church, whose later fathers railed against the canonical sin of despair. Suicide occurs in every culture, not only in the Western developed world, but also in India, China and, despite severe theological prohibitions, in Islamic countries.

Within the Judaeo-Christian tradition, there are eleven instances of suicide described in the Bible's Old Testament and one in the New Testament. Perhaps the most famous death in the former is the suicide of King Saul following his defeat in the hands of the Philistines, heard in David’s lament, and ‘how are the mighty fallen’. Saul had sought the assistance of his bodyguard to help kill himself. The soldier was horrified at the irreligious notion of killing his appointed King, and turned the sword upon himself. Saul, apparently aided by such an example, then followed suit. It appears that the avert prohibition against suicide was first formerly pronounced by Saint Augustine, who in his City of God describes the action as a ‘moral sin’. The Church did not always condemn suicide when, for example, following some severe assault, such as rape, the victim took a ‘virtuous’ or 'honourable' way out. She could then claim sympathy and the forgiveness of her society and family, in both Roman and Christian times.

As shown, neither the Judaic nor Christian parts of the Bible are there direct injunctions against suicide. However, this is not the case in the traditions of the true religion, Islaam, which continues to be a major influence upon many Islamic people. There are a few quite specific sanctions expressed in the Qur'aan against self-killing.

Allah says explicitly in the Quraan, "And do not kill yourselves. Surely, Allah is Most Merciful to you". (Surah An-Nisa, Verse 29)

In another verse of the Quraan, Allah says, "And do not throw yourselves in destruction". (Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 195)

The impact of this injunction still has considerable force in Islamic countries, and it may be one reason why, with the exception of Jordan and Turkey, there is no recorded suicide in national statistics of the Islamic Nations. But, in the last decade or so there has been a substantial increase of suicide in Muslims living in Non-Muslim countries, namely Britain and America.

The current attitude and dilemmas, unlike in previous times, suicide can be discussed relatively easily today, even within the mass media of the late twentieth century. For example, in the worldwide magazine 'Time' there have been three major articles concerning suicide, which while acknowledging dilemmas, were mainly concerned with where firm baselines should be drawn, accepting without question the ‘obvious’ rationality of such actions in many situations. Yet a little more than 100 years ago, Robert Louis Stevenson, in what was considered to be a horrendous book, The Suicide Club, found himself almost at the extreme end of the case of language, because he could not describe in sufficiently villainous terms the leader of this ‘devilish’ club. Constantly, modern poets and novelist have almost celebrated suicide.

The reasons that lead a person to commit suicide are as numerous and complex as the thousands of people who do so every year. Below are a few contributing causes of suicide:

Unipolar affective disorder (Depression)

The mental disorder usually called ‘depression’ is now described as ‘unipolar affective disorder’. The term depression is of course problematic, in that a low mood, or sometimes a feeling of emotional glumness, of living ‘out of sorts’ or ‘fed up’, is a frequent experience for many people. In this sense it is ‘normal’ and many people can feel ‘depressed’ without having depression. There is another side to this coin, where a person can feel particularly well, ‘on a high’ or with a feeling of well being. This can be the experience of a large number of people without it being felt, thought or obseverd as a problem or a disorder. A person simply feels in a ‘good mood’.

The causes of depression are many:

1. Mood: There is a profound disturbance of mood, which is one of the prevailing sadness and misery.

2. Cognition (To think deeply): There is an important disturbance of cognition, so that everything around them is interpreted dismally. Sufferers can believe they are hateful, worthless and, at the extreme, that they are already dead and responsible for the evils in the world.

3. Energy: There are very often tell-tale changes in mood and energy, in which the mood is especially low in the early morning hours, with relative lighting of misery in the afternoon.

4. Sleep: There is a disturbance of sleep, where it is quite usual for a person to be able to sleep almost as soon as going to bed, but with early waking, sometimes accompanied by quite enclosed changes of mood.

5. Appetite: There is a loss in appetite, and an apparently liked food turns to such, that you cannot bear the sight of it.

6. Stress: Stress at work, home, school etc can cause severe depression which can lead to suicide.

Isolation and detachment

One of the most common sentiments expressed by many of those who resort to suicidal behaviour is a sense of detachment from others. This is not so much physical isolation but refers more to a sense of moral insulation, where the individual has come to define his, or her, situation as so hopeless that others cannot help to put it right.

Substance misuse (Drugs and alcohol)

Addiction to drugs and alcohol, in this day and age, has become a major factor, which leads a person to suicide. In the past few months the media around the world have shown many cases of suicide due to drug use. Some have also predicted if drugs like cannabis was to be made legal, the death toll will increase due to this. The media have shown the devastating effects suicide has on the society around the world through drug use.

Loss of family or friends

One may feel isolated after the death or separation from family members or friends. Loss of a relative/friend causes immense grief, which may cause one to think about suicide. Some commit suicide thinking they will join the dead in the grave.

Relationship break-ups

This many times has the same effect as the death of a loved one. Sometimes it may, make some feel life is not worth living.

Financial problems

One who is large debts, thinking he will never be able to pay-up and may resort to suicide, thinking he will no more have this burdensome responsibility on his head, leaving his next of kin this problem.

Sickness and disability

Severe sicknesses, which one cannot bear, can lead one to take his life. In many cases taking help from others in doing this act (Euthanasia).

Above are only a few reasons why one may resort into taking his own life. Many others can be found by way of research.

Few events in life have the same impact on us as the suicide of a friend or a loved one. The loss of a loved one, from any cause, brings out intense grief and mourning. The response and emotions felt by the bereaved following suicide are very different to those felt after other types of deaths. The fact that a loved one's death appears to involve an element of choice, raise painful questions which deaths from natural or accidental causes do not. Bereavement by suicide is usually prolonged. The grief is characterised by agonising, questioning and the search for some explanation as to why the death of his loved one has happened. Bereavement in this way often encompasses strong feelings of abandonment and rejection.

The sense of shock and disbelief following suicide is very intense. The most common and disturbing aspect of grief after suicide is recurring images of death, even if it was not witnessed. The finding of the body can be a traumatic experience. Going over and over the very frightening and painful images of the death, and the feelings these create, is a normal process of grief.

Newly bereaved people always ask ‘why?’ However bereavement through suicide often involves a prolonged search for a reason or explanation to tragedy. Most people bereaved by suicide usually come to accept that they will never know the reason why a loved one did what they did. In the search for answers, different members of the same family may have different ideas as to why he/she took their life, it could strain family relationships, especially if an element of blame is involved.

Below, I have included statistics, which I have obtained for many different sources.

• The World Health Organisation estimates that in the year 2002 approximately 1.1million people will die from suicide
• A global mortality rate of 17 per 100,000
• One death every 40 seconds from suicide
• In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 65% worldwide.
• Suicide is now among the three leading causes of death amongst those aged 14-44(both sexes)
• Suicide attempts are up to 20 times more frequent than completed suicide
• Although suicide rates have traditionally been highest amongst the elderly, rates among young people have been increasing to such a rate that they are now the group at highest risk in a third of all countries
• More people die from suicide than homicide in the USA, in 1997 there were 1.5 times as many suicides as homicide
• Mental disorders (particularly depression and substance abuse) are associated with more than 90% of all causes of suicide
• Males are four times more likely to die from suicide than women are. However , females are more likely to attempt suicide than males
• 2 suicides every day by young people in the UK and Republic of Ireland
• 80% of suicides by young men
• Suicide accounts for a fifth of all deaths of young people
• An estimated 24,000 adolescents self-harmed in 1998 – 3 every hour
• Alcohol and substance misuse are significant factors in youth suicide
• Contributory factors to youth suicide include unemployment, social isolation, recent inter personal life events and difficulties with parents, peers and partners
• 6,216 suicides in the UK, 439 suicides in the Republic of Ireland
• One suicide every 79 minutes in the UK and the Republic of Ireland
• More than two young people commit suicide every day in the UK
• Suicide figures are double the death toll from road traffic accidents
• Suicide is now the second most common cause of death in the UK for young people aged between 15-24
• People who make suicide attempts or threats are not just "attention seeking", but are at the risk of harming themselves
• Most suicidal people are undecided about living or dying, and try beforehand to let others know how they are feeling, or give clues or warnings
• Somebody tries to take his own life every three minutes
• In any given week, at least 463,000 people have serious thoughts about suicide
• Every year around 2500 children or young people phone child-line about feeling suicidal
• Overdosing accounts for 50% of female suicides and 25% of male suicides
• Under 25 year olds account for 9.26% of all suicides in East Lancashire. Of which 2.3% are of Asian heritage

Statistics about suicide are difficult to collate, and many are inaccurate because of the sensitivity of the issue. According to some research suicide rates are 50%-60% higher than the official rate.

There are three areas where the law is relevant to suicide. First, while attempting to commit suicide has not been illegal in Britain since 1961, it is still a criminal offence under the ‘Suicide Act 1961’ to help someone commit suicide. Second, health professionals who do not take reasonable precautions to safeguard a suicidal patient who then goes on to commit suicide may be sued for negligence in the civil courts. Third, in some cases, people felt to be at grave risk of harming themselves can be detained for their own safety under the ‘Mental Health Act 1983’ (England and Wales), 1984 (Scotland), or ‘Mental Health Order 1986’ (Northern Ireland).

Our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) mentioned suicide many times, a few of these incidents are recorded in Muhammad Ibn Ismael's, 'Sahih Al-Bukhari'. In one incident narrated by Thabit bin Ad-Dahhak (radh), the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "Whoever intentionally swears falsely by a religion other than Islam, then he is what he has said, (e.g. if he says, 'If such thing is not true then I am a Jew,' he is really a Jew if he is a liar). And whoever commits suicide with a piece of iron, he will be punished with the same piece of iron in the Hell-fire."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said, "A man was inflicted with wounds and he commited suicide, and so Allah said: My slave has caused death on himself hurriedly, so I forbid Paradise for him."

The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said, "He who commits suicide by throttling shall keep on throttling himself in the Hell-fire (forever), and he who commits suicide by stabbing himself, he shall keep stabbing himself in the Hell-fire (forever)."

From the Words of Allah and his Prophet (peace be upon him), we can see suicide is not accepted in Islam and we can also see through other sources, it is also prohibited in other religions.

If one is thinking of committing suicide he should think about his friends and family and turn to Allah and His Book and ask His help. Talking to the Scholars and others is one immense help. Confidential information is also available through your GP. Many centres also offer help for people in these troubled times.

May Allah save us from this sin and give us all guidance to the straight path. May Allah save us from all types of grief and give us all entrance into Paradise. Aaameen.

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Trials and tribulations are a part of life. We do not like them; we do not like to go through them; but eventually we accept them. Even if we pray, fast, pay our Zakat (Obligatory Annual Charity) and undertake all of the different forms of worship, we still get tested. Sadness sometimes fills our hearts. We could be the best of practicing Muslims, yet poor and unable to put food on our table. We could be rich yet lonely, or young yet unhealthy.

It is in these instances that shaytaan starts toying with our head. We look at what others have, especially the non-Muslims, and our core gets rattled. The shaytaan ignites a fire that gets our blood boiling, hopelessness and frustration set in, and we ask, “Oh Allah, why me?! Why am I being punished?”

Psychologists tell us that human beings go through five stages of emotion when struck with a calamity. Understanding the different stages of grief minimizes the first four stages (which are denial, anger, bargaining and depression) and gets us to the final stage – which is acceptance. I went through these stages on many different occasions, as I am sure you have.

I am not a psychologist nor am I trying to refute the works of psychology, but I would nonetheless like to offer a different view, a Qur’anic view, on how to deal with life’s trials.

Though we do not have a say in when we are born nor in when we die, life has a clear beginning and a clear end. What is sometimes unclear is the journey between the two points. For Muslims, however, the journey could not be any clearer. Allah says in Surat Adh-Dhaariyaat, “And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)” (Qur’an, 51:56).

Now think back to the first paragraph of this article. You might think to yourself, “I pray five times a day, I fast during Ramadan and pay my Zakaat, yet I have an ill child, or still can’t find a job, or this stressor or that.” You begin to wonder why you are going through this and why you are being “punished.” Before you know it, shaytaan takes the helm and you are on a slippery slope of anger and denial.

Before falling down that slope, one must take a deep breath and ponder the following question: is it punishment or is it a manifestation of what Allah has told us in Surat Al-Ankaboot, “Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested?” (Qur’an, 29:2)

Allah tells us that through this journey we call life we will be tested. In Surat al-Baqarah, He says, “And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits…” (Qur’an, 2:155)

Tribulations are a part of life but that doesn’t make them easy. We still grieve — but how could we not? We are, after all, a very emotional creation. So how does one cope with adversity? There are many verses in the Qur’an that speak about different mechanisms of coping such as patience, faith, prayer and acceptance. But what I find the most profound and the most comforting is what Allah says in Surat al-Baqarah, “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2:286).

If you stand back and take a look at the whole picture, you will realize that what you have when faced by a tragedy is a choice. Will you go through the stages of grief, denying Allah’s destiny and the wisdom of His plan for you? Or will you realize that what you are going through is something you know you can handle? Whatever trial comes your way is something that Allah has planned and which He has guaranteed you can handle. This verse is comforting because I, as a faithful believer, Allah willing, believes in Allah and His wisdom, know deep in my heart that although the sadness is cumbersome it will not be overwhelming; that although the times might be tough, I am tougher; and that whatever comes my way will go away; and that eventually I will face my Lord whom, I hope, will be pleased with me as I am pleased with Him.

So when you go through a difficult situation, be it the inevitable death of a loved one or the loss of a job or just a flat tire on the side of the highway, take a deep breath and say,

“Say: ‘Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allâh has ordained for us…’” (9:51).

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A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were Allah's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If Allah allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us.

We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!

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Al-Hakeem reports in al-Mustadrak that the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Allah will suffice he, who makes his worry in life one; and he, who is branched by worries, Allah will not care in whichever valley of life he perishes."

The meaning of this is that one should concentrate one's worries from beginning to end on obeying Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) and preparing oneself for his meeting, for this is the greatest of all worries, and the greatest of all matters.

For this very reason Messengers were sent, and Divine Books were revealed, and the trade of Paradise and Hell was set, and the Siraat (the bridge over Hellfire) was laid down, and for which the Scale was put forth.

He who Allah made to see and awakened his heart, gathers his concerns and directs his thought towards the meeting with his Creator and Master. For this matter is enough to engage one and exhaust all the rest. Furthermore, the more life enters the heart the more the worry and the preparation. You will not find a man knowledgeable in his religion, sound in his mind but had gathered his soul in this very worry. He would not work, stand nor sit down but in awe of God, unique in his highness and the greatest of all duties ordained. His senses would be directed to serving his master and his tongue would only speak of his praise, and his heart would beat with gratitude, and his eyes would show his deep love with truthful tears.

Allah says, "In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day, there are Signs for people of intelligence: those who remember Allah standing, sitting and lying on their sides." (3:190-191)

As for he who channels his worries in all matters of life, don't ask about his well-being, for he is anxious, disturbed, perplexed, sorrowful and lost without any sort of benefit. He is forever in continuous sadness because whoever falls in love with life is killed and who lusts for it will fall sick and who serves it will end up disappointed.

We ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) to channel all our worries in pleasing him, and dedicate our lives for his obedience, and his worship. Aaameen.

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A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I need to" she said. "I don't understand," he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," his dad answered carelessly.

The little boy, still wondering why women cry, finally asked the old wise Shaykh (his Islamic Teacher). "He surely knows the answer", he thought.

"Ya Shaykh! Why do women cry so easily?"

The wise teacher replied,

"When Allah made the woman she had to be made so special. He made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. He gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that comes from her children.

He gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. He gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child hurts her very badly. He gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

He gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And lastly, He gave her a tear. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, it’s hers...

You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the beauty of her face, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

The little boy found the answer and never asked the same question again.

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Who was he?

He was a famous Taabi'ee (Successors of the Sahabah), a scholar of Hadeeth (Prophetic Narration) who was born in the penultimate year (22AH) of the caliphate of Umar (radhiallahu `anhu) and died 94AH. His father was az-Zubair ibn A’wwam, one of the ten Promised with Paradise. His mother was Asma daughter of Abu Bakr, and therefore his aunt was Aa’ishah, the mother of the Believers from whom he benefited immensely. He also learnt from Ali bin Abi Talib, Abdur-Rahman bin Awf, Zaid bin Thabit, Abu Ayub Al-Ansari and many other sahaabah until he became one of the seven Fuqahaa’ [scholars of Islamic Jurisprudence] of Medina upon whom the people depended.

U’rwah applied his knowledge into his actions. He would even fast during the hottest days in Madinah and would always stand for night prayers. He would keep his tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah. He would read a fourth of the Quran from a mushaf (copy of the Qur’aan) during the day and then he would repeat that it heart in his night prayers. And it is not known that he left this practice from his early youth up until the day he died except on one occasion...

Urwah bin Zubayr was invited by the khalifah, al-Walid bin Abdul-Malik (705-715 CE, 6th Khalifah of Bana Ummaya) in Damascus. U’rwah accepted the invitation and went with his eldest son Muhammad, who was one of the most handsome of men. The young man had dressed up for the occasion in fine clothes, and had done up his hair. Al-Walid welcomed them with honour and when he saw his son, he said,

"This is how the young people of Quraysh should look!"

and by saying so, he put the evil eye on him. Before he left, the young man fell ill. When he was in the stable (preparing for the journey) and admiring the khalifa's fine horses, one of the horses trampled him to death.

The grief-stricken father had barely shaken off the dust from burying his son, when he developed gangrene of the foot. His leg became swollen and the gangrene began to spread at frightening speed. Al-Walid sent for the best doctors to cure his guest by any means possible. But the doctors were unanimously united on the fact that the only cure for him was amputation quickly before the gangrene spreads and kills him. 'Urwah seeing no other choice agreed.

When the surgeon came to amputate his leg with his scalpel and a saw, he said to U’rwah,'I think it would be appropriate for us to give you a mouthful of intoxicant so that you do not feel the excruciating pain of amputation'.

'Urwah replied,

'No, I will not do that. I will not seek help by taking that which is impermissible, for that which I forgiveness (of Allah) from'.

So the doctor said, 'So we will give you some tranquilizer’.

'Urwah replied,

'I do not wish to be deprived of one of my limbs without me feeling its pain for that for which I aspire the reward of Allah for’.

Then, just before the surgeon was about to cut his leg, a group of men came to them, so U’rwah said,

'Who are these people?’

It was said to him, 'They have been sent for, so that they can hold you, since perhaps when the pain becomes severe, it might cause you to pull back your leg causing you harm.'

'Urwah replied,

'Send them back! I have no need of them as I hope that dhikr (the remembrance of Allah ('azza wa jall)) and tasbeeh (glorify Allah) will suffice me of them.'

So the surgeon began by first cutting off his flesh with a scalpel and when he reached his bone, he started to saw. All that could be heard from Urwah was ‘Laa ilaaha ill Allah (there is none worthy of worship except Allah)’ and ‘Allahu akbar (Allah is the Greatest)’ until his leg was cut off. Then boiling oil was brought in an iron scoop, and was poured on 'Urwah's leg to stop the pouring of blood and close the wound. Urwah at this point lost consciousness and fell into such a deep sleep that he did not read his normal portion of Qur’aan that day. This was the only time when he did not perform his regular good deed.

When he regained consciousness, he called for his amputated leg, kissed it and said while turning it in his hand,

"I swear by the One, Who mounted me on you, I never used you to walk to any place of wrong action or to any place where Allah would not like me to be in."

Then he gave instructions that the leg should be washed, perfumed, wrapped in a cloth and buried in the Muslim graveyard. 'Urwah was carried to his hometown of Madinah where the people and his family gathered to meet him, whereupon he promptly said:

"Do not be frightened with what you see. Allah has bestowed upon me four sons and He has taken back one and allowed me to remain with three, so for Him is the Praise. Allah has given me four limbs and has taken one and allowed me to remain with three, so for Him is the praise. I swear to you by Allah, that if he has taken from me a little, then he has caused to remain with me much, and if he has tried me once then he has forgiven me many times."

Many people came to from the scholars and leaders to offer their condolences to 'Urwah, but of the best words given were those of Ibrahim bin Muhammad bin Talha, when he said.

"Receive the glad tidings! O Abu Abdullah (his kunya, agnomen: ‘Father of Abdullah’) one of your limbs and one of your sons has preceded you to Paradise… and behind that which has gone, the others shall follow inshaa’ Allah (Allah willing)… and Allah has caused to remain for us from you that which we are in need of and that which we cannot do without, and that is your knowledge, your understanding and your opinion… May Allah continue to benefit us with it."

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Allaah has foreordained the fate of all creatures, written down their impacts and deeds, portioned out between them their livelihood and wealth and created death and life that He may test them which of them is best in deed. Indeed, belief in Allaah's decree and preordainment is one of the pillars of faith. Nothing happens in this universe except by His will.

This life is full of misfortune and sorrow. It is destined to be a place of hardships and trouble. Trials and tribulations are as inevitable in this life as cold and heat. Allaah says, {And certainly We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to those who are patient.}

Pre-destination is a test by which the truthful ones are distinguished from untruthful ones. Allaah says, {Do people think that they will be left alone because they say, 'We believe,' and will not be tested.}(29: 2)

The human soul does not become pure except through trials, and it is during tribulations that real men are known. Ibn Jawzee said,

"Whoever wants to have everlasting peace and well-being with no affliction does not understand the meaning of Allaah's commandments, nor does he perceive the meaning of submission to Allaah. Every soul (either believing or disbelieving) shall inevitably taste suffering in this world, for this life is based on hardships. Man lives between comfort and suffering. Prophet Aadam, for instance, had the angels prostrated before him and yet was soon after expelled from paradise."

A believer is afflicted with trials in order to refine him, not to punish him. He is tested in ease as well as in hardship. Allaah says, {And We tried them with good (blessings) and evil (calamities) in order that they might turn (to Allaah's obedience).} (Al-A'raaf 7: 168).

Something undesirable may sometimes have a pleasant result, while something seemingly desirable may turn out to have an unpleasant and abominable result. Do not therefore feel that harmful things cannot come to you through hardship. Allaah says,

{...And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows, and you do not know.} (Al-Baqarah 2: 216).

Prepare yourself mentally for afflictions before they occur so as to make their occurrence light on you. Do not be worried because of tribulations, for they have their limits, and watch what you utter during your hard times for many a word has ruined the one who utters it. A resolute Muslim stands firm during hardships, his heart does not change and he does not complain. Console yourself, whenever you are afflicted with trials and tests, with a promise of reward from Allaah. Wise people show endurance whenever they are stricken with misfortune so as not to add to their misfortune the malicious joy of their enemies, for whenever your enemies know of your misfortune they are overjoyed.

Endeavour to keep your misfortunes and pains to yourself, for concealment of afflictions and pains are of the qualities of noble people. Be patient over afflictions, they will soon be removed from you. Those who perished only suffered that because of their impatience while the patient ones are being recompensed with good rewards. Allaah says, {And those who are patient, we will certainly pay them a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do.} (Al-Anaam 16:96).

The reward of the patient ones will be doubled for their patience and Allaah will be with them, remove their afflictions and make them victorious.

O afflicted one! Your Lord does not deny you what you want except what is better than that, He does not test you but for your well-being and He does not subject you to tribulations but to purify you. He tries His slaves with pleasure as he blesses them with calamity. Do not therefore waste your time thinking over what has already been guaranteed for you. As long as one is still alive his provision will no doubt come to him. Allaah (ta'ala) says, {And no (moving) living creature is there on earth but its provision is due from Allaah.} (Hood 11:6).

Further, if Allaah - out of His wisdom - closes a door against you, He opens out of His mercy a door better for you than the closed one. It is by afflictions that righteous and understanding people are increased in rank and reward. Sa'ad bin Abee Waqqaas said, I said, "O Messenger of Allaah, who are the most afflicted of all people?

He (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) replied, "The Prophets, then the righteous people, then those who are nearest to them in perfection and those who are nearest to them. Man is tested according to his religiosity; if he is strong religiously, his test is increased and if he is weak in religion, his test is reduced. And a believer will be tested until he walks on the earth sinless [i.e. his sins have been erased by series of afflictions that he endured.]" (Al-Bukhari)

Fellow Muslims! Prophet Aadam laboured along difficult paths beset with affliction; Prophet Ibraheem was thrown into a blazing fire; Ismaeel was laid down for slaughter; Yoonus was swallowed by a whale; Prophet Aayoob suffered from a severe illness; Yoosuf was sold for a pittance, thrown into a well and wrongfully jailed and Muhammed (saws) suffered different kinds of injury. You also are on a path of calamities by being in this world, for this life does not contain untainted and pure happiness, that will only come about in Paradise.

The Prophet (saws)) said, “If Allaah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials.” (Al-Bukharee). Some people of knowledge said,

“Whoever Allaah creates for paradise will face trials and undesirable things."

That is because comforts that do not bring one closer to Allaah are, in themselves, a kind of tribulation. Do not therefore grieve over what you miss in worldly materials, for worldly pleasure begets pain and disobedience. Aboo Dardaa said,

"Of the insignificance of this world to Allaah is that He is not disobeyed except in it, while what is with Him cannot be obtained except by abstaining from it. Engage yourself in what will benefit you more. Keep away from what is in peoples' hands you will be the wealthiest of them; do not lose hope in Allaah's mercy lest you are disgraced; always remember Allaah's favour on you and drive away your distress by being pleased with Allaah's decree, for however long the night may be, it will be followed by the dawn. Supplicate to Allaah. He will give you relief and if you are patient Allaah will provide a way out for you. Ponder over the story of Prophet Ya'qoob who lost a son for a long period and yet did not lose hope of relief from the Almighty One, but rather said, "Maybe Allaah will bring them all (back) to me."

It is only Allaah who deserves all praise and is capable of attending to all complaints. It is only Him you must beseech to remove your misfortunes. Pray to Him during the night with submission and humbleness and request Him to make your affairs easy for you. He says, {Is it not He who responds to the distressed one when he calls Him?} (27: 62)

Put your trust in the Omnipotent Lord and take refuge with Him with a humble heart, He will open the doors of His mercy for you. Fudayl ibn 'Iyaadh said,

"If you lose hope in all people and you do not ask anything from them, your Lord will give you all that you want."

Whoever leaves his affairs to the hands of Allaah will achieve what he aspires: Always recite the prayer of Prophet Yoonus, "None has the right to worshipped except You (O Allaah) Glorified (and exalted) are You (above all that they associate with You) Truly I have been of the wrong doers."

The 'Ulamaa said,

"No one in distress recites this prayer except that Allaah gives him relief from his distress."

Ibn al-Qayyim said,

"It has been tested that whoever says: "Verily distress has seized me and You are the most merciful of all those who show mercy!" Seven times Allaah relieves him of his distress!

Put then yourself under the protection of Allaah, depend upon Him, submit your affairs to Him and ask Him for relief. Try to supplicate in the most appropriate periods like during prostration and the last hour of the night. Do not feel uneasy if your supplications have not yet been answered, and do not lose hope of Allaah's mercy even though the period of your affliction may seem long, for relief is near, and continue to pray to Allaah. Also know that when Allaah afflicts you no one except Him is capable of removing that affliction for He does whatever He wills.

If your provision seems delayed, do a lot of istighfaar (asking Allah's forgiveness), for misdeeds necessitate punishment; and if it does not seem that your supplications are having any impact, then examine yourself, for it may be that you have not been sincere in your repentance. Endeavour also, to give charity to the needy, for charity prevents and removes affliction.

However, if your affliction is removed, give a lot of thanks and praise to your Lord and know that a false sense of safety is a big trial. Allaah says,

{Say: Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allaah has ordained for us. He is our Lord and Protector, and in Alaah let the believers put their trust.} (At-Taubah 9: 51).

No condition is permanent. Fortunate is he who is always God-conscious. Fear Allaah in any condition you may find yourself. You can do nothing to prevent what has been destined to happen as you do nothing to attain what has not been pre-ordained. The ability to choose and control is with Allaah alone and His choice for His slave is better for him than his choice for himself. Dawood bin Sulaymaan said,

"Three things indicate the piety of a believer; his trust in Allaah in what he has not attained; his satisfaction with whatever he has attained and his patience over what he has missed."

Shurayh said,

"A slave will not be afflicted by a trial except that he finds three blessings therein,

(1) That the trial has nothing to do with his religion,

(2) That the trial was not bigger than it is, and

(3) That Allaah gives him patience to bear it."

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In the spiritual sense, sabr (patience) means to stop ourselves from despairing and panicking, to stop our tongues from complaining and to stop our hands from striking our faces & tearing our clothes at times of grief and stress. What follows are some amazing, life-changing verses from the Qur'aan and some blessed statements of the Prophet, may Allah's peace and blessings be upon his noble soul.

If contemplated over sincerely, these verses and narrations will make a mountain of trials and tests feel as insignificant and small as a prick of a thorn.

Verses from the Qur'aan Pertaining to Patience

Allah says:

{Seek help in patience and prayer; and truly it is hard save for the humble-minded.} (2:45)

{O you who believe! seek assistance through patience and prayer; surely Allah is with the patient.} (2:153)

{Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.} (2:155)

{It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces Towards east or West; but it is righteousness- to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance, out of love for Him, for your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer, and practice regular charity; to fulfil the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient, in pain (or suffering) and adversity, and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the Allah-fearing.} (2:177)

{Do you think that you will enter the garden while Allah has not yet known those who strive hard from among you, and (He has not) known the patient.} (3:142)

{......and Allah loves the patient.} (3:146)

{O you who believe! be patient and excel in patience and remain steadfast, and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, that you may be successful.} (3:200)

{What is with you passes away and what is with Allah is enduring; and We will most certainly give to those who are patient their reward for the best of what they did.} (16:96)

{And those who were given the knowledge said: Woe to you! Allah's reward is better for him who believes and does good, and none is made to receive this except the patient.} (28:80)

{Surely the men who submit and the women who submit, and the believing men and the believing women, and the obeying men and the obeying women, and the truthful men and the truthful women, and the patient men and the patient women and the humble men and the humble women, and the almsgiving men and the almsgiving women, and the fasting men and the fasting women, and the men who guard their private parts and the women who guard, and the men who remember Allah much and the women who remember-- Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a mighty reward.} (33:35)

{Say: O my servants who believe! be careful of (your duty to) your Lord; for those who do good in this world is good, and Allah's earth is spacious; only the patient will be paid back their reward in full without measure.} (39:10)

{And if We make man taste mercy from Us, then take it off from him, most surely he is despairing, ungrateful. But if We give him a taste of (Our) favours after adversity hath touched him, he is sure to say, "All evil has departed from me:" Behold! he falls into exultation and pride. Except those who are patient and do good, they shall have forgiveness and a great reward.} (11:9-11)

{Verily, along with every hardship comes ease. Verily, along with every hardship comes ease} (94:5). And he knows that there is only one hardship and two eases. The Muslim recognises the good in the hardship, so he is able to endure patiently, waiting for Allah's reward, and the promised relief.

Ahaadeeth (Sayings of the Prophet - Peace Be Upon Him - Pertaining to Patience)

The following Prophetic narrations have been taken from Saheeh al Bukhari:

Narrated Anas bin Malik, the Prophet passed by a woman who was weeping beside a grave. He told her to fear Allah and be patient. She said to him, "Go away, for you have not been afflicted with a calamity like mine." And she did not recognize him. Then she was informed that he was the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam). So she went to the house of the Prophet and there she did not find any guard. Then she said to him, "I did not recognize you." He said, "Verily, the patience is at the first stroke of a calamity."

Narrated Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudhri, some Ansaar [Companions of Madinah] asked for (something) from Allah's Apostle (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) and he gave it to them. They again asked him again for (something) and he again gave it to them. And then they asked him and he gave them again till all that was with him finished. Then he said, "If I had anything. I would not keep it away from you. (Remember) Whoever abstains from asking others, Allah will make him content, and whoever tries to make himself self-sufficient, Allah will make him self-sufficient. And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience." [Volume 2, Book 24, Number 548]

Narrated Abu Hurairah, Allah's Apostle said, "The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient till Allah removes his difficulties.) And an impious wicked person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes." [ Volume 7, Book 70, Number 547]

Narrated Anas bin Malik, Allah's Apostle sent for the Ansar and gathered them in a tent and said to them, "Be patient till you meet Allah and His Apostle, and I will be at the lake-tank (Al-Kawthar)." [Volume 9, Book 93, Number 533]

Narrated 'Aa’isha, the wife of the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), that Allah's Apostle said, "No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even if it was the prick he receives from a thorn." [Volume 7, Book 70, Number 544.]

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Have you ever longed for that one special dish or dessert, but could not find the exact ingredient to make it quite right? Have you ever wished that you could call up your dearest friend and invite her over for tea and conversation, but knew that was impossible?

Have you ever had a new baby and wished deeply in your heart that your own mother could be there to share this wonderful experience with you and to provide you with support, comfort, and advise? Have you ever felt such deep sorrow and pain that you cried until the tears would no longer come?

If you are one of the many people “away from home” you may have experienced some or all of these wishes and feeling. Homesickness, loneliness, and missing family and friends are all very familiar to people in this situation. With the growing number of immigration to North American, this is becoming an important issue that needs to be addressed within communities. This is particular true women who many have moved with their husbands and begin to feel isolated and lonely while their husbands work throughout the day, sometimes for long hours. It may also be more intense for women who are attempting to truly implement Islam in their lives as Muslim women, with the pressure and influence of the Kufr environment, there may be a great deal of fear, uncertainty, and suspicion for new residents. Being away from a more Islamic environment can only add the psychological stress of homesickness. Struggles with maintaining Islamic dress is a common concern related to this area.

The stress and challenges experienced in a new land may be magnified if children are involved. There may be concern about being able to instil Islamic values in children in an environment where these values are not the norm. The pressure upon children and youth is probably even greater than those faced by adults. In many ways the upbringing of children is likely to be more different since the major support of extended family and friends is no longer available. This would be most evident in such areas as physical care, discipline, and monitoring.

So how is a Muslimah to cope with new challenges? There are certain positive steps that she can take and there are other areas where other sisters may be of assistance. The following is a list of those suggestions:

Suggestions for the New Arrival

1. Develop a strong support system. Whenever anyone arrives in an unfamiliar land it is important to begin to develop a new support system from the very beginning. Building a supplementary family and network in the new location can best alleviate homesickness and loneliness. If there is a large Muslim community in the area, opportunity for friendships should automatically be available through the local masaajid and halaqas (Islamic Circles). Lina is a sister who recently came to America from Jordan with her new husband. She stated that her transaction has been less difficult than she anticipated primarily because she already knew one sister here and has met many new people and begun to develop friendships. Many of her contacts have been made through visits to the local masaajid. She reported that because of this and a supportive husband she has experienced very little homesickness and feels that she is coping well.

2. Focus on the positive aspects. Being “away from home” may actually turn to be a wonderful experience with myriad opportunities for personal growth and achievement. Free from the tangled intricacies of familial and cultural ties, a women may begin to determine who she really is, as an individual and find ways to strengthen her character, her eemaan (faith), and her roles as a wife and mother. It may also open the door to educational opportunity both in relation to the deen (religion) and to personal career interest. There are many programs that offer course through correspondence so that a woman can study in her home and tailor this to fit her interests and schedule. Lina stated that she has been to a masjid more often in this country during her short stay than throughout her lifetime back home. She reported that few women visit the masaajid in her home country except during Ramadhaan, and she was not aware of any halaqahs (Islamic educational circle) for the education of sisters. In America she has started to join a halaqah for Arabic speakers and teaches Arabic for an English halaqah. She will also begin a course this semester to study how to use the computer.

3. Find ways to fill time through I'baadah (worship). There are many ways to keep oneself busy, especially in the worship of Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala. It is in times of needs when the hearts is likely to be softer and one may turn to Allah more often. Sincere 'Ibaadah (worship), such as Salah, reading Qur’an, fasting, Dhikr (uttering words of remembrance of Allah, the Almighty), etc, should be increased during this time as a sign of complete reliance upon Allah. Other activities that can be considered worship include: increasing ones knowledge of Islaam by reading Islamic books and materials; participating in daw’ah (Islamic propogational) activities, halaqah (Islamic circle) activities, children’s programs; adopting an Islamic cause such as charity projects, social programs, sharing knowledge with others, etc. There are number of many already established that would definitely need the help of extra volunteers. This may be an excellent opportunity to draw nearer to Allah.

Suggestions for Natives and more Seasoned Immigrants

1. Help to make new sisters feel at home. Some elements of “home” can be recreated here and be important in alleviating homesickness. Sisters may generate discussion by inquiring about the new sister’s homeland, customs, language, foods, etc. A familiar dish, desert, or spice may be brought for the sister or she may be shown local stores that carry idea to invite her to share information about her homeland with the halaqa (Islamic circle), such as the social, political, economic aspects. All of these steps will help to make sister feel that “home” was not completely left behind.

2. Assist in the transition. Many women may be very unfamiliar with the “American” culture so it is important to increase their understanding so that they will be better prepared to deal with it. This may involve providing information and giving advice about how to handle specific issues, particularly related to the rearing of children. Not only will this be very beneficial for the sister so that she can avoid difficult or embarrassing situations, but it will make the overall transition much smoother.

3. Break down the barriers. New immigrants may not only be suspicious and wary of American culture, but they may also feel this way about American women. This barrier may be even more complex to overcome than any language barrier that may be present. American women who have converted to Islaam may share their conversion story and what the change has meant for them. Oftentimes sisters will discern the shared challenges and obstacles that transcend cultural differences. For example, wearing hijaab (the head-scarf) in an unIslamic environment is just as difficult for new converts as it is for immigrants, and maybe even more so if it is a recent modification. Through social contact and sharing of lives sisters will see that the commonality of Islam is what brings them together.

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In Surat al-'Asr, Allah says, {Verily, man is in loss, except those who believe and do good deeds and encourage one another towards truth and encourage one another towards patience}.(104:2-3)

Patience is a sign of the Muslim character. I know a lady who taught me a great deal. She probably does not even know how much she affected me, for it was not anything she said. It was purely her actions.

This lady had a daughter who was about 11 or 12 years old. She had been sick for a few years. The young girl had been taken to the hospital because her heart and lungs were giving out on her. This had become a routine for them. She went to the hospital, they treated her, and she went home. This time, however, it was different. This time, the doctor took the family into a small room - the consultation room. He told this woman that this time there was nothing that could be done. The damage had become too extensive. Essentially all that they could do was keep her comfortable. This lady started to cry, to get really upset. Then, unexpectedly, she was extremely calm. This lady lived up to her name, Sakeenah (peace), for she showed the utmost in tranquillity. She said,

"No! I will not do this. Allah does not expect this of me. Doctor, tell me what I have to do."

By Allah, the doctor, who was used to the grief expressions of the Kuffaar (non-Muslims), was astonished. He had to pull himself together before he could continue. I know he had never seen anything like this. What a beautiful da'wah (call to Allah) this woman gave, may Allah increase her reward.

She avoided the easy route, the one no one would have blamed her for taking. After all, she was a mother about to lose her beloved daughter, but the thought that came to her was, "What would Allah want?" Glory be to Allah, Allah reward her. This woman, in her love to Allah, in her show of patience, taught me better than a thousand books or a hundred lectures. She showed me what true Muslim patience is. As expected, the young girl died soon after. Sakeenah cried a mother's tears, but she was never excessive in her grief, and she was a marvellous example to her other children. They too showed honour and deen (religiosity) in their mourning of the young girl.

This is Islam, and this is patience. This family taught all of us in the community how to deal with hardship in its hardest form. They helped others to know the right way, and if Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'ala) wills, they gained the reward from Allah for teaching us as well as for their simple obedience to the Almighty.

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From time to time we all experience challenges. It could be when we encounter some difficult situations in our life or business or we have problems with health or even just day to day issues. What is really important is how we face up and react to those challenges. Our attitude and trust in our Creator will determine how much we succeed.

Attitude Leads to Altitude!

According to scientists, the bumblebee's body is too heavy and its wing span too small. Aerodynamically, the bumblebee cannot fly. But the bumblebee doesn't know that and it keeps flying.

When you don't know your limitations, you go out and surprise yourself. In hindsight, you wonder if you had any limitations! The only limitations a person has are those that are self-imposed. Don't let physical conditions dictate how you respond to life’s challenges.

There is a story about a group small frogs who took part in a race.The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. Then they were off!

No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower and they began to yell things like:

“Oh, way too difficult!!”, “They will NEVER make it to the top”, “Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!”

The tiny frogs began collapsing one by one, but there were some that were managing to climb higher and higher.

The crowd continued to yell: “It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!”

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But one frog continued higher and higher and higher. This one wasn’t giving up!

At the end, every other frog had given up climbing the tower except for the one tiny frog who, after great effort, was the only one who reached the top! All of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog who had succeeded how it had found the strength to reach the goal?

It turned out…that the winner was deaf.

Never listen to people who have a tendency of negative or are pessimistic because they may impede your progress and stop you from achieving your dreams. Everything that you hear and see can affect you in so many ways. So filter and entertain only those that will have a positive bearing on your life.

                   “Indeed, Allaah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.”

                                                                          (Qur’aan, 13:11)

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Isn’t it amazing how we can tell when a true leader walks into a room?

• They command attention.
• They possess a certain aura that makes them stand out.
• They have influence and are wonderful communicators.
• Everyone loves them because of their charisma and their strong display of power.

But it’s not only power that makes a leader great, because power can only go so far. Here are six distinct qualities that I believe all great leaders have that makes the organizations they lead exemplary ones.

1. Great leaders have vision.

A leader is a visionary. They can see the big picture long before anyone else can and will move companies along that path strategically. It is said that without vision, the people perish. Companies can’t run successfully on their own. It takes vision and a great leader to carry it effectively. Many people feel that at the end of the day, it’s all about the bottom line. But it’s how you get to that bottom line that is important, and it’s predicated on a strong visionary.

2. Great leaders pave the way for others to succeed.

Strong morale is the by-product of organizations that possess a leader with charisma. Everyone wants to do their job and do it well when they feel they are appreciated. Great leaders reward those who go above and beyond and push the envelope of potential in everyone. They are fair and forthright in delegating tasks to others, making sure apprentices understand their assignments thoroughly, thus allowing them to soar. They don’t mind promoting those they have mentored because they don’t feel threatened by those who follow them. They are willing to raise up others like them, to make their own work easier by giving others the responsibility for the task at hand.

3. Great leaders walk in integrity.

Because the demands are great for these leaders, they have no time for games or to say something and not mean it. Great leaders walk the walk and talk the talk. They expect those around them to do the same in order to be on their team. Integrity is their middle name and they thrive in their roles because others gravitate towards doing business with them, knowing full well that anyone privileged to work with them will benefit from a strong, honest partnership that upholds the highest level of loyalty and solidarity.

4. Great leaders create a sense of purpose to their work.

When you know the reasons for doing what you do, it makes doing that work easy and fun. Many employees want a fun environment to work in, and when they know their work has meaning, an increase in productivity occurs. But not only does the quantity of the work go up, but the quality of it does too. Great leaders add purpose to the workplace.

5. Great leaders are confident.

Great leaders are quick decision-makers and problem solvers. They are confident in their ability to think critically and make sound decisions. Even if the end result lands the company in a bind, they own up to the decision and fix whatever discrepancy has been made to turn the company around. This comes with being assured of themselves and using wise judgment in all of their affairs.

6. Great leaders are servant-leaders.

Above all else, great leaders are humble enough to get down in the trenches with other employees and do the work it takes to meet the demands of the company’s consumers. It’s not all about being demanding. If someone is out, they take up the slack. They make sure if no one else does it, they will do so gladly. They are not too high to do manual labor and actually love to work alongside others. It’s a great teaching tool to lead by example.

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وَمَنْ أَرَادَ الْآخِرَةَ وَسَعَىٰ لَهَا سَعْيَهَا وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَأُولَٰئِكَ كَانَ سَعْيُهُم مَّشْكُورًا

 {But whoever desires the Hereafter and exerts the effort due to it while he is a believer - it is those whose effort is ever appreciated [by Allaah].} (Al-Israa', [017]: 019)