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It was narrated from 'Abdullah bin 'Amr that the Messenger of Allah (p) said: 

 أَحَبُّ الصِّيَامِ إِلَى اللَّهِ صِيَامُ دَاوُدَ كَانَ يَصُومُ يَوْمًا وَيُفْطِرُ يَوْمًا

وَأَحَبُّ الصَّلاَةِ إِلَى اللَّهِ صَلاَةُ دَاوُدَ كَانَ يَنَامُ نِصْفَ اللَّيْلِ وَيُصَلِّي ثُلُثَهُ وَيَنَامُ سُدُسَهُ"‏

"The most beloved fast to Allah is the fast of Dawud, for he used to fast one day and not the next. And the most beloved of prayer to Allah is the prayer of Dawud; he used to sleep half of the night, pray one-third of the night and sleep one-sixth of the night." (Sunan Ibn Majah, Saheeh)

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Aboo Hurairah [may Allaah be pleased with him] narrated that the Prophet Muhammad [peace be upon him] said:

"Allaah shall raise for this Ummah at the head of every century a man who shall renew (or revive) for it its religion."

[Sunan Abu Dawood, Book 37: Kitab al-Malahim [Battles], Hadeeth Number 4278.]

By Sheikh Tawfique Chowdhury:

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Allaah the Almighty Says (what means):

الْيَوْمَ أَكْمَلْتُ لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَأَتْمَمْتُ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعْمَتِي وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ الْإِسْلَامَ دِينًا

 "This day have I perfected your religion for you and completed My favor upon you and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” [Quran 5:3]

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We live in a world where comfort is the no.1 priority for all; we want the most comfortable homes, most comfortable jobs, most comfortable flights, and most comfortable holidays. We don't want to sweat or work hard, but simply be comfortable. The irony of such quest is that once we achieve such comforts, we become restless, we become bored and we normally either seek new challenges and adventures or go into depression and sadness because we find our life to be meaningless.

Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) says in the Quran:

لَقَدْ خَلَقْنَا الإِنسَانَ فِي كَبَدٍ

"Verily We have created man into toil and struggle" (Chapter 90, Verse 4).

And although one might take this in the negative sense, but what if our happiness was linked to striving and struggling? A philosopher once said,

"We take no pleasure in existence except when we're striving for something".

I believe that's a universal law.

But what should we strive for? What would be our compass to ensure that we're growing in the right direction? That we're achieving our potential in areas that would benefit us in this life and hereafter? This is where Islam comes in and gives us this direction. Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) says in the Quran

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ الْجِنَّ وَالإِنسَ إِلاَّ لِيَعْبُدُونِ

"And I created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me" (Chapter 51, Verse 56).

Our happiness is linked to our striving for Jannah and the pleasure of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala), which encompasses the concept of worship in its widest sense and it never ceases until we die. Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) says in the Quran:

وَاعْبُدْ رَبَّكَ حَتَّى يَأْتِيَكَ الْيَقِينُ

"And worship your Lord until there comes unto you the certainty (i.e. death)" (Chapter 15, Verse 99).

So why are you struggling? Why do you need to be productive?

The answer: to be happy in this life and hereafter inshaa'Allaah.

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The status of the Muslim woman in Islam is a very noble and lofty one, and her effect is vey great in the life of every Muslim. Indeed, the Muslim woman is the initial teacher in the building of a righteous society, providing she follows the guidance from the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of His Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam). Since adherence to the Qur'an and the Sunnah distances every Muslim male or female from being misguided in any matter. The misguidance that the various nations suffer from, the path of Allah the Most Perfect, the Most High, and from what His Prophets and Messengers, may Allah's peace and prayers be upon them all, came with. The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said: "I am leaving behind two matters, you will not go astray as long as you cling to them both, the Book of Allah and my Sunnah." [Hasan: Related by Malik in Al-Muwatta (2/899) and Al-Hakim (1/93), from Ibn 'Abbas radhiallahu 'anhu. It was authenticated by Al-Albani in As-Sahihah (no. 1871)]

The great importance of the Muslim woman's role - whether as wife, sister or daughter, and the rights that are due to her and the obligations due from her have been explained in the Noble Qur'an, and further details of this have been explained in the purified Sunnah.

The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder. In terms of responsibilities, some of which not even a man can bear. This is why from the most important obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given precedence over and above the father. Allah, the Most High, says:

"And We have enjoined upon man to be dutiful and good to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness upon weakness and hardship upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years. Show gratitude and thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination." [Al-Qur'an 31:14]

Allah, the Most High, said:

"And We have enjoined upon man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship, and she brings him forth with hardship. And the bearing and the weaning of him is thirty months." [Al-Qur'an 41:15]

A man came to Allah's Messenger( sallallahu 'alayi wa sallam) said: O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me. He replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So he replied: "Your mother." The man asked: Then who? So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother." The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: "Then your father." [Related by Al-Bukhari (no. 5971) and Muslim (7/2), from Abu Hurayrah]. So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the likes of kindness and good treatment than the father.

As regards the wife, then her effect in making the soul tranquil and serene, has been clearly shown in the noble ayah (verse), in His - the Most High's - saying:

"And from amongst His Signs is this: That He created for you wives from amongst yourselves, so that you may find serenity and tranquility in them, And He has put between you love and compassion. Indeed, in this are signs for those who reflect." [Al-Qur'an 30:21]

Al-Hafidh Ibn Kathir (d. 774H) (rahimahullah) said, whilst explaining the terms mawaddah and rahmah which occur in the above verse. "Al-Mawaddah means love and affection, and ar-rahmah means compassion and pity, since a man takes the hand of a woman either due to his love for her, or because of compassion and pity for her; by giving to her a child from himself ... " [Tafsir Qur'an al-'Adhim (3/439) of Ibn Kathir]

And the unique stance that the Prophet's (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) wife Khadijah (radhiallahu 'anha) took, had a huge effect in calming and reassuring Allah's Messenger (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam), when the angel Jibril ('alayhis-salam) first came to him in the cave of Hira. The Prophet (sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam) returned to Khadijah with the first Revelation and with his heart trembling and beating severely, saying to her, "Cover me! Cover me!" So she covered him until his fear was over, after which he told Khadijah (radhiallahu 'anha) everything that had happened, and said: "I fear that something may happen to me." She said to him: "Never! By Allah! Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good ties with relations, you help the poor and the destitute, you serve your guests generouly and assist those who have been affected with calamities." [Related by Al-Bukhari (1/22) and Muslim (1/139), from the lengthy narration of 'A'ishah (radhiallahu 'anha)]]

And do not forget about 'A'ishah (radhiallahu 'anha) and her immense contribution. Even the eminent Sahabah (Companions) used to take knowledge of Hadith from her, and many of the Sahabiyyat (female Companions) learnt the various rulings pertaining to women's issues from her.

And I have no doubt that my mother (may Allah shower His mercy upon her) had a tremendous effect upon me, and has a great excellence over me, in encouraging me to study, and she assisted me in it. May Allah greatly increase her reward and reward her with the best of rewards for what she did for me. And there is no doubt also, that the house in which there is kindness, gentleness, love and care, with the correct Islamic tarbiyyah (education and cultivation) will greatly affect the man. So he will become, if Allah wills, successful in his affairs and in any matter whether it be seeking knowledge, trading, earning a living, etc. So it is Allah alone that I ask to grant us all success and to guide us all to that which He loves and is pleased with. And may the prayers and peace of Allah be upon our Prophet Muhammad, and upon his Family, his Companions and his followers.

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1. Write down a weekly schedule of the dishes you intend to make – no more stress to think about WHAT you have to cook. Let everyone contribute to the list. It'll make things easier. Note down the groceries required.

2. Simplify cooking. Why do you prepare a breakfast and then a snack for the school and then lunch and then dinner? Can't you combine foods in a creative way?

Prepare stuff that you can cook instantly. Stack away things in the freezer. Boil prawns, prepare shaamis, kababs, fish, etc. and freeze them. They'll be ready to fry. Check out recipes that are easy to do. If chapatis take a long time, try making pancakes or dosas.

Try to reuse the curries. You can perhaps make shorba for dinner and use it again for breakfast. Or freeze it and use it a day later to avoid repetition on the same day.

Simplify, simplify, and simplify cooking. You can still cook delicious food. Work smart, not hard.

3. Managing Time. Can't you finish all your cooking in the morning before the children go to school? Why don't you prepare breakfast and lunch together for example?

Start with the most difficult task of the day and finish it off early, because if you are able to get it done in the morning, the rest of the day will be much, much easier. Your major battle for the day is already over.

A sweating walk, jog or exercise and reciting the Qur'an or the Adhkaar after you've exhausted yourself with the morning work will be good to your brain. It will relax you. Think of different activities you can be involved in. Find a friend to do these activities together.

Try to get up even earlier than Fajr if you can. I swear this will be excellent. But that means you must sleep early and train your children to sleep early. Eliminate working after Isha.

4. Work. When working outside home, women generally are extremely loyal to the work they are assigned to, like more loyal than the boss. Don't take more work than what you're capable of.

Set priorities in your life and don't compromise over them. Projects, deadlines, and work are always going to be there. We can't devote our life to them.

5. Post Isha Time. You should not get even close to work after Isha. Relax and chill out. Speak to your family. Spend time talking random stuff. General stuff. Joke with each other. Tell them what happened at home. Hear their stories.

This should be your important and unavoidable family time. Keep it for about half an hour or 45 minutes — that's quality time spent. Then go to sleep by doing your adhkar.

If you wish, write down what you have to do next morning, even if it is the same schedule. Or else, write the schedule i.e. plan the day when you wake up in the morning. But write it down.

6. Involve Children. Many mothers are always in the "do it all" mode.

Get your children involved in housework! Let them do the dishes in turns. If they aren't doing it properly, have Sabr. They will learn. But it must be their responsibility. Period.

You must develop the art of sweetly getting the work done through others. They should love doing it. It should be given that, after dinner, it is they who will clean up the table and do the dishes. Let them also prepare the dinner table and unpack and wash their lunch boxes.

You must be firm. Tell your children that you are finding it very difficult. Express the pressure you are facing and tell them that if they don't help out, you may fall sick. Children will get worried and become responsible. Keep the communication alive.

Publicly appreciate the work they do and encourage them to do more. Treat them as if they are elders. Make housework something interesting to do and a competition between children.

7. Be Fully Involved in what you do (i.e. don't think of other things when you're doing one thing). For example, when you are helping with the homework, think only about that. Innovate on how you could make it easier and better for the children. Make it full of life and activity.

This will help you as well. It will distract you from worries. It will add different colors to your life.

8. Be Positive. Make lots of du'a and leave your worries to Allaah. Please don't get into a self-pity or self-blame mode. Get rid of all negative emotions. They don't help. You can be positive, happy and upbeat regardless of what you have, or don't have in life. Once you've made du'a, expressed your weakness and sought comfort from Allah, you should be in action mode. Think about how to deal with this situation and then plan things.

Work out clever and pleasing ways to give da'wah to your husband. Ways that are not confronting. Be fully obedient, but that doesn't mean you should be dull and silent.

Be confident and expressive in a nice and loving way. Men like women who charm them with positivity (even if he's not giving you the reason to be, but this shouldn't be dependent on him).

Just the state of being positive and giving Da'wah for Allah's sake will make you happy and he'll listen to you more as well In-shaa' Allaah.

Remember that things don't change overnight. Take it step by step. It requires some effort from you. 

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Our self esteem is instilled in us during our youth. Being constantly criticized by family, friends, and society tends to slowly strip us of our feelings of self worth. Our low self esteem strips us of our self confidence to make even the smallest of decisions. Improving your self esteem increases your confidence and is a first step towards finding happiness and a better life.

Allaah Almighty says in the Noble Qur'aan:

إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ

{Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you.

Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.} (Al-Hujuraat, Verse 13)

1. Dress nicely without extravagancy. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don't look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. This doesn't mean you need to spend a lot of money and time on clothes. One great rule to follow is "spend twice as much, buy half as much". Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, good quality items. Find things that you like and in return, you will like the way you look. Although you must remember to always remain humble and not extravagant.

إِنَّهُ ۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُسۡرِفِينَ

"Certainly He (Allah) likes not the extravagant." (7:31)

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said one day in his khutbah:

"Allaah has revealed to me that you should be humble so that no one will boast to anyone else and no one will transgress against anyone else." (Muslim)

2Have good hygiene. Take care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and removing unwanted body hair frequently (excluding eyebrows and without resembling men) by epilating or waxing (exfoliating is a must!), wearing clean clothes and brushing your teeth twice a day. Although alway remember: nothing beats Miswaak.

The Prophet  ﷺ said: "Had I not feared burdening my Ummah (followers), I would have commanded them to use Siwaak before every Salaat." (Reported by Maalik, Ahmad and an-Nasaa'i.)

"From the acts of nature are five: circumcision (obligation for men, but not for women), removing pubic hairs, trimming the mustache, cutting the nails and plucking the hair from under the armpits." (Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim).

It is not allowed to leave them for more than forty nights. This is based on the Hadith of Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said, "The Messenger of Allaah set a time limit for us for trimming the mustache, trimming nails, removing armpit hairs and removing pubic hairs. They cannot be left for more than forty nights." [Recorded by Muslim].

Abdullaah ibn Masood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah ﷺ say: "Allaah has cursed the woman who does tattoos and the one who has them done, the woman who plucks eyebrows and the one who has it done, and the one who files her teeth for the purpose of beauty, altering the creation of Allaah." (Bukhaari, Muslim)

3Practice good posture, without being arrogant. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They often are unenthusiastic and don't consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you'll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You'll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered. But remember,

 إن ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُعۡتَدِينَ

{Truly, Allah likes not the transgressors.} (2:190)

 إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخۡتَالٍ۬ فَخُورٍ۬

{Verily, Allah likes not any arrogant boaster.} (31:18)

4Work out regularly and eat the right foods. Physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you're out of shape, you'll feel insecure and unattractive. By working out, you improve your physical appearance and do something constructive with your time. If you work out in the morning, it also creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said, "I raced with the Prophet and I beat him. Later when I had put on some weight, we raced again and he won. Then he said, 'this cancels that (referring to the previous race).'" (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

Muhammad ﷺ said, "Any action without the remembrance of Allaah is either a diversion or heedlessness, except four acts: Walking from target to target [during archery practice], training a horse, playing with one's family, and learning to swim." (At-Tabaraani)

Islaam's holistic approach to health includes treating our bodies with respect and nourishing them with, not only faith, but also with lawful, nutritious food. A major part of living life according to the Creator's instructions is implementing a suitable diet. Choosing wholesome food and avoiding the unwholesome is essential to good health. Allaah Almighty says in the Qur'aan,

كُلُوا مِن طَيِّبَاتِ مَا رَزَقْنَاكُمْ

{Eat of the good things which We have provided for you.} (Quran 2:173)

كُلُوا مِمَّا فِي الْأَرْضِ حَلَالًا طَيِّبًا

{Eat of what is lawful and wholesome on the earth.} (Quran 2:168)

5Give back to others. Volunteer in the Muslim community. This will increase your self esteem.

 وَلْتَكُن مِّنكُمْ أُمَّةٌ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى الْخَيْرِ وَيَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَيَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ ۚ وَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْمُفْلِحُونَ

{Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good, enjoining Al-Ma'roof (i.e. Islamic Monotheism and all that Islam orders one to do) and forbidding Al-Munkar (polytheism and disbelief and all that Islam has forbidden). And it is they who are the successful.} (Surah Aal 'Imraan:104)

Zaid ibn Thabit narrated the Prophet ﷺ said: "May Allah cause to have freshness and brilliance the man who hears what I say and keeps it in mind, then convey it to others." (Ahmad, 5-183.)

Too Much of an Introvert?

1Compliment others modestly. Break the cycle of negativity by praising people when praise is due unexcessively. In the process, you'll become well liked and it will build your self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

Muhammad ﷺ said: "Do not abuse anyone...Do not look down upon any good work, and when you speak to your brother, show him a cheerful face." (Sunan of Abu-Dawood, Hadith 1889)

Muhammad ﷺ said: "Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises." He was then asked: "From what do we give charity every day?" The Prophet answered: "The doors of goodness are many...enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one's legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one's arms–all of these are charity prescribed for you." He also said: "Your smile for your brother is charity." (Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98.)

2Sit in the front row. Most people prefer the back of a classroom or office because they're afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You'll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

3Speak up. Many people never speak up because they're afraid that people will judge them or think of them negatively. The simple fact is that these are fears everyone experiences. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you'll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts and recognized as a leader by your peers. One shouldn't fear to speak good words, speak up for that which is right and rewarding.

4Walk faster. You don't have to power walk at all times, but people with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go and things to do. Even if you aren't in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by doing this because you will look and feel more important.

Remove Your Negative Self-Esteem

1Start from within. Ignore any and all destructive criticism or insults, including any from your past. Your opinion of yourself is the most important opinion of all, because you know yourself better than anyone else. Many of us have been hurt by others at some time. It is crucial not to internalize that abuse and let them continue to hurt us, because that means the other person wins. If we let go of the past, ignore hurtful negativity and make ourselves happy, then we win.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, "Indeed amazing are the affairs of a believer! They are all for his benefit. If he is granted ease then he is thankful, and this is good for him. And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres, and this is good for him." (Muslim)

And: "Whenever a Muslim is afflicted by harm from sickness or other matters, Allaah will expiate his sins, like leaves drop from a tree." (Bukhari and Muslim)

2Create daily affirmations. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself and another for things you can work on. Thank Allaah for the good and ask his forgiveness and help from the bad.

{And when your Lord proclaimed, "If you give thanks, I will give you more; but if you are thankless, lo!  My punishment is dire.} (Quran 14:7)

If you've made mistakes that prevent you from believing that you deserve to be happy, take measures to relieve that guilt. Apologize to people you may have hurt (if possible), learn from those mistakes and forgive yourself. Use the Qur'aan as your ultimate guide through this learning process.

{O mankind! There has come to you a good advice from your Lord (i.e. the Qur'aan), and a healing for that which is in your hearts.} (Quran 10:57)

{And We send down from the Quran that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe...} (Quran 17:82)

From the Ahaadeeth of Muhammad ﷺ comes the story of the man whom the Prophet ﷺ sent on a mission.  He camped close by to some people who did not show him any hospitality.  When the leader of the nearby camp was bitten by a snake, they went to Prophet Muhammad's ﷺ companion for help.  He recited the opening chapter of the Qur'aan over the afflicted man and he arose "as if released from a chain" (Saheeh Al-Bukhaari)

3Start with small steps to gain confidence. Take small steps and make small choices to gain confidence in your ability to make a decision.

The Prophet ﷺ said: "There is no disease that Allaah Almighty has created, except that He also has created its treatment." (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

As you become secure in your ability to make good choices, you will gain confidence in yourself, and be more secure about your abilities in general.

For example, if purchasing jeans makes you anxious because of the plethora of brands, colors, and styles, then just go with your instincts. Trust yourself and go with whatever feels right to you. And if you really feel you made a wrong decision in retrospect, the situation can be easily rectified by exchanging the jeans.

4Don't always try to please others. It is great to be considerate of others, but think before sacrificing your own needs to please them. Bending over backwards for strangers, mere acquaintances or people you don't trust may leave you with the short end of the stick. In short, don't allow yourself to be used.

The Prophet ﷺ said: "Whoever seeks people's contentment by angering Allaah, Allaah will leave his matters for the people." (At-Tirmidhi)

5Be your own person. Don't try to copy anyone else. You will be at your best when you are being yourself because of your uniqueness. Strive to be your best and do not criticize yourself if you fall short of your expectations.

6Avoid negative people. People who have a negative attitude which may rub off on you are not good for you. If you're timid, loud and aggressive people are probably not good for you, and vice versa. Whatever you do, do not compare yourself to others. Just be the best that you can be.

The Prophet ﷺ said, "The case of the good companion and the bad companion is like that of the seller of musk and the blower of the bellows (iron-smith). As for the seller of musk, he will either give you some of the musk, or you will purchase some from him, or at least you will come away having experienced its good smell. Whereas the blower of the bellows will either burn your clothing, or at least you will come away having experienced its repugnant smell." [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

7Face your fears and learn from your failures. We only fail when we do not make the best out of adversity. When something doesn't go the way we would like it to, there is something to be learned from that, which can be applied next time you are in a similar situation. Get up and try again.

Repentance (Tawbah) is a spiritual necessity in Islaam. As humans, who are not infallible, we will commit sins, and we will make mistakes, even with good intentions.

There can be no sincere making of tawbah for any sin or mistake without self-actualization, meaning that we have to first be aware that we are fallible beings, who need to take constant calculation of our intentions, thought processes and actions. The Qur'aan states (59:19),

{And be not like those who forgot Allaah, so He allowed them to forget themselves; these it is who are the transgressors.} (59:19)

If we have knowledge of self, then it enables us to see our wrongdoing, which leads towards a feeling of remorse within us if we are connected to our souls. There cannot be true tawbah without having remorse. In fact, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated, "Remorse is repentance." (Ibn Majah & Ahmad)

8Stop the negative thoughts. Try positive thinking on for size. If you constantly tell yourself you are stupid or that you will never achieve success, you will in turn act as such. Improve what's within yourself, have pure thoughts and aim for your Deen, and you will see a change within youself.

وَعِندَهُ مَفَاتِحُ الْغَيْبِ لَا يَعْلَمُهَا إِلَّا هُوَ ۚ وَيَعْلَمُ مَا فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ ۚ وَمَا تَسْقُطُ مِن وَرَقَةٍ إِلَّا يَعْلَمُهَا 

وَلَا حَبَّةٍ فِي ظُلُمَاتِ الْأَرْضِ وَلَا رَطْبٍ وَلَا يَابِسٍ إِلَّا فِي كِتَابٍ مُّبِينٍ

{And with Him are the keys of the unseen; no one knows them except Him. And He knows what is on the land and in the sea. Not a leaf falls but that He knows it. And no grain is there within the darknesses of the earth and no moist or dry [thing] but that is [written] in a clear record.} (Quran 6:59)

9Don't worry about being "perfect." Aiming for perfection in life is a lost cause because the term means different things to different people. Nobody is perfect in the eyes of everyone else. Instead, seek to achieve goals and know that Allaah alone is perfect.

10Learn to appreciate yourself. Everyone has strengths, weaknesses, habits, and principles that define who you are and can make you distinctive. Spend more time focusing on the qualities about yourself that you like and that are praiseworthy in the Deen. You can better accomplish this by taking up hobbies and projects that you can do which will make use of your strengths. Additionally, by starting on some projects that emphasize your good traits, it will keep you busy so you will end up spending less time thinking about your weaknesses.

11Reward yourself when you succeed. Treat yourself to something nice in the glow of your successes. Believe in yourself as a Musim and others will also believe and trust in you. The best thing you can reward yourself with is an extra prostration (Sajdah) infront of your Lord.

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Concerning this point, Satan has many ways and means. It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhaari that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “During your sleep, Satan ties three knots at the back of your necks. He breathes the following into them, ‘The night is long so keep on sleeping.’ If the person wakes and praises Allah, then one of the knots is unfastened. And if he performs ablution, the second knot is unfastened. When he prays, all of the knots are unfastened. After that he will be energetic and happy in the morning. Otherwise he would get up listless and grouchy.”

It is also recorded in Sahih al-Bukhaari and Sahih Muslim that he said, “When one of you rises from your sleep he should make ablution. He should rinse his nose three times. For Satan stays in the upper part of one’s nose during the night.”

Al-Bukhaari also records that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked about a man who sleeps until the morning comes, that is, after the time of the dawn prayer. He said, “That is a man whom Satan has urinated into his two ears.”

What we have mentioned is from among the ways that Satan hinders the human from doing some actions. He also whispers into the human a love for laziness, postponing or procrastinating actions and thinking about what a long period of time one has for such and such action or work.

Ibn al-Jawzi has written on this topic, stating that many of the Jews or Christians actually felt and feel in their hearts love for Islaam but Iblees continues to hinder them. He says to them, “Do not be hasty. Look closer into the matter.” And they postpone their conversion until they die as disbelievers.

In the same way, the one who is disobedient to Allaah postpones his repentance. He sets his sights on his desires and he hopes he will repent later. But, as the poet said, “Do not rush to perform the sins you desire and think about the period of repentance beforehand.”

How many are determined to do something and then they postpone it. Perhaps a scholar is determined to return to his study. Satan says, “Rest for a while.” Or a servant is alerted to the prayer at night and he says to him, “You have plenty of time.” He will not stop making people love laziness and postponing of actions and he makes the person rely on hopes and dreams.

It is necessary for the energetic person to take matters into his own hand and act upon his energy. The energetic finds the time to do things and does not procrastinate and he turns away from just dreaming. The one who has a real fear of Allah does not feel safe of punishment. The soul never stops in its dispute about evil and facing the good. But it always expects that it will have plenty of time to complete the good. One of the early scholars said,

“Beware of procrastinating. It is the greatest of the soldiers of Satan.”

The serious, non-procrastinating person and the one who rests on his hopes and puts off working are like two who are passing through a city while journeying. The serious, energetic one buys his provisions early and waits for his traveling out of the city. The procrastinator says, “I will wait, as perhaps we will stay here a month,” and continues to put off buying his provisions and preparing for his departure, until the last minute wherein he becomes rushed and mistake prone.

This is how people are in this world. Some of them are prepared and alert. When the angel of death comes, he is not sorrowful. Others are deceived by thinking they can procrastinate and they will despair when the time to move on comes. It is part of one’s nature to love laziness and dreams but then Iblees comes and builds upon that. This makes it difficult to struggle against him in that matter.

But the one who is alert knows that he is in the middle of a battle.

He knows that his enemy does not rest.

And if it seems that he is resting, it is actually just part of his strategy.

Source: Excerpted from: The World of the Jinn and Devils,. Chapter: From the Ways of Satan in Leading Humans Astray By Dr.Umar Al-Ashqar. Adapted from the book Ibn al-Jawzi, Talbees Iblees, p. 458.

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Sometimes, it is the case that Allah opens up a person’s heart and sparks it with zeal, motivation, determination and He gives it a burst of enthusiasm. He blesses his slaves with high aspirations and drives them towards good deeds until… Shaytan recognises this tremendous gift and he in turn rushes to stop such a well-driven believer. He launches his army against him, but then Allah `azza wa jall by His Mercy and Power protects His slave and helps him overcome the plots of Shaytan;

“Indeed My Slaves, you have no authority over them, except those who follow you of the deviators.” [al-Hijr: 42]

And so the slave of Allah is forever in a battle; between fighting the grip of Shaytan and between hastening onwards to achieve his goals and aspirations.

We have to learn to recognize this pattern that often occurs the moment we make an intention to do something good in our lives; something that’s worthwhile and rewarding, or has great weight in the Hereafter. For some, this battle begins the moment they enter into Islaam, for others the battle kicks off when they make a firm resolve to achieve something (e.g. seeking knowledge, or learning Qur’an, or setting up community projects etc).

One of the crazy plots of Shaytan is that he often seeks to harm us through the people that surround us or people that are close to us. Subhaan’Allah how often we hear of youth suffering at the hands of their (non-practising/non-Muslim) parents who restrict them from practicing their Islaam, or a person who wishes to embark on some good but his friends are the first people to put him down or demotivate him, or laymen who are turned away at the doors of knowledge unfairly such that they’re made to feel rejected, or a worshipper who is rebuked harshly by another such that his drive in worshipping Allah is now broken. Yes, harms can often reach you from those around you; sometimes it’s people that you couldn’t care less about, sometimes it’s those above you in authority, and sometimes, just sometimes, it’s those that mean the world to you.

As part of a lifelong tarbiyyah, we have to recognize that this is not uncommon in the path of struggling towards Allah and His Pleasure. Many scholars have written books on it and classical texts such as Ibn Hibban’s ‘Rawdhat al-‘Uqala’ have numerous chapters dedicated to this. Yes, even though you will meet good companions in life who help you and offer you kind words of encouragement, there are times unfortunately when you will also face people (often at the peak of your enthusiasm) who intentionally or unintentionally bring you down, discourage you, or zap all your zeal and passion in one way or another. As a result, a person ends up either not fulfilling their potential, or they become weak in their pursuit of the good deed, or they abandon it altogether. We have to recognize that this is just another tool of Shaytan to prevent the slave of Allah from attaining the high ranks in Paradise.

How can a person best deal with this?

Focus on Allah, your Creator. He is the One who wishes to see you succeed. He is the One who wants good for you, and His Help is with you so long as you are sincere and do your best.

Focus on the Hereafter and make it your focal point throughout life. Fix your vision on attaining the high ranks; “Look at how We have favoured some of them over others, but the Hereafter is greater in degrees and greater in distinction.” [Al-Israa': 21].

Ask Allah for guidance in all your affairs. Seek His Mercy and Blessings. Ask Him to help you overcome the obstacles in life and help you deal with people in the best manner, and Inshaa’Allah He will most certainly bring you out as a stronger, wiser person.

Be patient. Be patient with people, with circumstances, with the era you live in. Be patient when things don’t go smoothly or even if they do go smoothly, be patient when they don’t turn out as you expect.

Realise that sometimes people are just part of the test. They may not always intend you harm, but it’s the Decree of Allah that He may wish to test you with others. In the end, this will only increase your reliance upon Him and your heart will learn to be patient with everything and seek Him Alone.

Remain humble. It’s all too easy to improperly react (or overreact!) when faced with difficult people. Be calm, be collected and stay humble. We ourselves are not safe from mistreating others which is likely to happen if we respond with anger or speak without thought.

If you endure harm from one person, don’t let it cause you to abandon others. Be social but be wiser in your sociability. Remember the words of Ibn Hibban when he said,

“Whoever seeks to please all people is seeking something impossible! Rather, the intelligent one seeks the pleasure of those who he cannot do without… Many times there is little safety for a person when he is social, so what safety can there be for a person who is unsocial?”

In other words, when you’re social, at least there’ll be people who like you and you like them, but if you’re unsocial, then you won’t be liked by anyone.

Remember your high aspirations. Remember that they are worth the struggle because you have intended them for Allah. Keep looking forwards, and don’t be sidetracked by the difficulties. As the great thinker and reformer once said:

“My brother, walk on, and do not look back,

Your path has been dyed with blood (i.e. struggles).

Do not look about, neither here nor there,

And do not look except to the sky…”

- Sayyid Qutb (rahimahullah)

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Excellence in measured in many ways, one of the most important of which is your confidence and ability to stay on your chosen path. You will find when you do that, that other people will often be scared of your high ideals and goals. To remain on the path and not be discouraged by their lack of confidence is a measure of excellence. I have always measured the strength of my goals from the number of people who they scare the daylights out of. Currently the same is true for my dream of the SBA - it scares the daylights out of a lot of people. To me, it means that I am on the right path. You see, the only path that doesn’t scare the sheep is the path to the pen. I personally have never had a liking to being penned. Especially since every pen has two doors. One towards the pasture and the other towards the abattoir.

Danger is both exciting as well as mostly imaginary. But when we embark on lofty goals which are rooted in integrity, truthfulness and the desire to do something worthwhile, the world - what we know of it as well as what is unseen - conspires to make us succeed. Angels walk with you though you can't see them. Doors open for you where you would not have imagined. People come out of the woodwork to help you not because you asked them to - you didn’t even know that they were there - but because they were sent. The resources that you need to accomplish your goal will flow in your direction.

Very simple principle of physics - water flows down a slope, not up it. So when you are climbing a hill and rain falls, water will flow in your direction. If you are running away and going downhill, water will flow away from you. Your position on the hill doesn’t matter (no matter how far from the peak you are). It is your direction which makes a world of difference and quite simply spells the difference between reaching the peak or not. Many people believe that they can climb a mountain walking backwards. I personally don’t know of anyone who managed to do that. If you want to succeed, you have to face your fears and stare into their eyes until they look away. Not turn your back on them. Especially because what is behind your back becomes even more scary. I was never very good at walking backwards myself.

That is not to say that one must ignore honest feedback or not check one's assumptions against emerging data and change them if necessary. That too is a measure of excellence in itself (see Rasoolullah (SAS)'s conduct in Badr when he agreed to camp in a different place) but the final goal must not be watered down and diluted because of fear. One is to change the approach because someone has a better way. That is good to do provided that other way stands the test of rigorous proof-of-concept. The other is to give up the goal itself because you became afraid. That is to betray yourself.

Remember that we all start in the same place - as idealists. But then we allow others (at least most of us do) to dictate what we will do, how we will live, what goals are 'realistic', what goals are 'worth it' and so on. So the leaping flame of idealism that was in our heart takes a beating and gradually gets reduced and dampened.

When you are idealistic people will initially oppose you and push back and try to discourage you, not because they don’t like what you are planning to do but because in your eyes they see what they were themselves like one day; until they allowed the rest of the crowd to dampen their idealism. But remember also that the spark of idealism lives as long as we are alive. You can dampen it but you can't kill it. So when they meet you, their spark starts to get some energy and that scares them. Their initial reaction is to try to put it back in its 'place' and dampen it once again because that will justify what they did to themselves all their lives. But if you refuse to internalize their fears and are true to your ideals, you will see that their own sparks will start to grow and will once again become the leaping flames that dispel the fears of darkness and light up the world in ways that neither they nor you thought possible.

The key is to remain true to your ideals no matter what the world tells you. That, to me, is a measure of excellence.

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Concerning this point, Satan has many ways and means. It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,

"During your sleep, Satan ties three knots at the back of your necks. He breathes the following into them: 'The night is long so keep on sleeping.' If the person wakes and praises Allah, then one of the knots is unfastened. And if he performs ablution, the second knot is unfastened. When he prays, all of the knots are unfastened. After that he will be energetic and happy in the morning. Otherwise he would get up listless and grouchy."

It is also recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim that he said,

"When one of you rises from your sleep he should make ablution. He should rinse his nose three times. For Satan stays in the upper part of one's nose during the night."

Al-Bukhari also records that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked about a man who sleeps until the morning comes, that is, after the time of the dawn prayer. He said,

"That is a man whom Satan has urinated into his two ears."

What we have mentioned is from among the ways that Satan hinders the human from doing some actions. He also whispers into the human a love for laziness, postponing or procrastinating actions and thinking about what a long period of time one has for such and such action or work. Ibn al-Jawzi has written on this topic, stating:

How many of the Jews or Christians have considered in their hearts love for Islam. But Iblees always hinders them. He says to them, "Do not be hasty. Look closer into the matter."And they postpone their conversion until they die as unbelievers. In the same way the one who is disobedient to Allah postpones his repentance. He sets his sights on his desires and he hopes he will repent later. But, as the poet said,

How many are determined to do something and then they postpone it. Perhaps a scholar is determined to return to his study. Satan says, "Rest for a while." Or a servant is alerted to the prayer at night and he says to him, "You have plenty of time." He will not stop making people love laziness and postponing of actions and he makes the person rely on hopes and dreams.

It is necessary for the energetic person to take matters into his own hand and act upon his energy. The energetic finds the time to do things and does not procrastinate and he turns away from just dreaming. The one who has a real fear of Allah does not feel safe of punishment. The soul never stops in its dispute about evil and facing the good. But it always expects that it will have plenty of time to complete the good. One of the early scholars said,

"Beware of procrastinating. It is the greatest of the soldiers of Satan."

The serious, non-procrastinating person and the one who rests on his hopes and puts off working are like two who are passing through a city while journeying. The serious, energetic one buys his provisions early and waits for his journey out of the city. The procrastinator says, "I will wait, as perhaps we will stay here a month," and continues to put off buying his provisions and preparing for his departure, until the last minute wherein he becomes rushed and mistake prone. This is how people are in this world. Some of them are prepared and alert. When the angel of death comes, he is not sorrowful. Others are deceived by thinking they can procrastinate and they will despair when the time to move on comes.

It is part of one’s nature to love laziness and dreams but then Iblees comes and builds upon that. This makes it difficult to struggle against him in that matter. But the one who is alert knows that he is in the middle of a battle. He knows that his enemy does not rest. And if it seems that he is resting, it is actually just part of his strategy.

Source: Ibn al-Jawzi, Talbees Iblees, p. 458.

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“By the night when it covers,

And by the day when it appears,

And by He who created the male and the female,

Indeed, your efforts are diverse.

As for he who gives and fears Allah,

And believes in the best (reward),

We will ease him towards ease,

But as for he who withholds and considers himself free of need,

And denies the best reward,

We will ease him towards difficulty.

And what will his wealth avail him when he falls?

Indeed, (incumbent) upon Us is guidance,

And indeed, to Us belongs the Hereafter and the first (life).

So I have warned you of a blazing Fire,

None will burn therein except the most wretched one,

Who had denied and turned away.

But the righteous one will avoid it:

He who gives from his wealth to purify himself,

And not giving for anyone who has done him a favour to be returned,

But only seeking the Countenance of his Lord, Most High.

And soon he is surely going to be well-satisfied.”

(Surah Al-Lail, Quran 92:1-21)

This Surah (chapter) of the Quran was revealed in relation to a simple but wonderful incident that happened during the lifetime of the Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) and was recorded by Ibn Abi Hatim on the authority of Ibn Abbas (radhiallaahu anhu):

There was a Muslim man who owned an orchard full of date palm trees. The branches of one of these trees would overhang into the premises of a poor man and his family. The farmer would frequently come to the poor man’s house in order to gather the dates from this tree but in doing so, a few dates would inadvertently fall onto the floor and be picked up by the children of the poor man. Whenever this would happen, the farmer would quickly descend from the tree and grab the dates from the hands of the poor children. Furthermore, if he caught one of the children having already put a date into his or her mouth, then he would forcefully insert his fingers into their mouths and wrench out the dates.

When this continued for a number of days, the poor man complained to the Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) about it. The Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) met the farmer and offered him a deal. He (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) said: “Give me your date palm tree whose branches overhang into the courtyard of so-and-so and in return I will guarantee you a date palm tree in Paradise.”

However the farmer replied to the Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam)): “I would have given it to you but the thing is that out of all the many date palm trees that I have, none produces dates as good as this one.” He then went away.

Immediately after, the Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) was approached by a man who had overheard his (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) conversation with the farmer. He asked the Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam): “Would you offer me the same deal as you offered that man, O Messenger of Allah?”

“Yes” replied the Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam).

Therefore the man, who owned many date palms of his own, went to the farmer and said to him: “The Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) has offered me a date palm in Paradise in return for the date-palm of yours that overhangs into the courtyard of so-and-so.”

The farmer replied, “I would have given it to him (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) but the thing is that out of all the many date palms that I have, none produces dates as good as this tree.”

“Are you willing to sell it?” the man asked.

“No, except if I receive for it whatever price I ask, but I do not think that anyone will pay that much for it,” replied the farmer.

“So how much do you want for it?” asked the man.

“40 date palm trees,” the farmer replied.

“40 date palms just for this one tree? You are asking for a huge price!” the man exclaimed. He then fell silent for a few moments after which he added, “Ok. I will pay you 40 date palms, so sign a contract with me if you mean what you say.” The farmer called some witnesses and they concluded the sale, so the man then went to the Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) and said, “O Messenger of Allah! I have purchased that date palm from the farmer and now it is all yours.”

The Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) in turn went to the poor man and said to him:

"That date palm now belongs to you and your family!...” Then Allah the Exalted sent down from above the Seven Heavens, “By the night when it covers,” to the end of the Surah.

Allah is Great!

How deprived was the wretched farmer to refuse the guarantee of a place in Paradise (you cannot be guaranteed a tree in Paradise without actually being there yourself to enjoy it) in exchange for a paltry date palm tree? And how blessed was the other man who bought himself a place in Paradise by paying only 41 date palm trees? This man saw an opportunity to do a good deed that would admit him to Paradise, so he immediately seized the moment. Had he hesitated, or delayed the matter to think about it, he might have missed the opportunity and someone else could have seized it instead.

Abu Bakr (radhiallaahu anhu) encountered many such opportunities and he grabbed every single one of them. When he saw Bilal (radhiallaahu anhu), the black slave, being tortured by Umayyah bin Khalaf, he immediately bought him from Umayyah and freed him. Abu Bakr (radhiallaahu anhu) did this with many Muslim slaves who were being oppressed in Makkah because they had no tribe or family to protect them: he bought them and freed them. When Abu Bakr’s father saw him doing this, he said: “My son, why are you buying these weak slaves then freeing them? Why don’t you at least keep them so that you can make use out of them?”

Abu Bakr replied to his father:

“My father, I am only doing this to seek the Countenance (Face) of Allah.”

Allah The Almighty brings as many opportunities every day but how many of us seize them and how many of us belittle and ignore them? How do we not know that perhaps it is one of those opportunities for doing good deeds that will admit us into Paradise?

Indeed, the Prophet (salallaahu 'alayhi wa salam) told us that a man was admitted into Paradise for merely removing a thorny branch from the path of the people; and a prostitute was forgiven for simply giving a thirsty dog some water to drink. And how many people have been admitted to Paradise for freeing a slave or ransoming a captive prisoner?

Never belittle or ignore any good deed, however small or insignificant. Never belittle or ignore any good deed whether it is bringing water to your brother or saying the remembrance supplications after each Salah or helping someone to carry their luggage or smiling in the face of your brother. Or if it is helping to ransom a captive prisoner.

Never belittle or ignore any good deed because that could be the deed that brings you salvation and admits you into Paradise. Scholars said that there should be no hesitation in deeds concerning the Hereafter. Seize the moment today. Before it is too late...

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The status of the Muslim woman in Islaam is a very noble and lofty one, and her effect is very great in the life of every Muslim. Indeed the Muslim woman is the initial teacher in building a righteous society, providing she follows the guidance from the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Messenger (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). Since adherence to the Qur`aan and the Sunnah distances every Muslim – male or female – from being misguided in any matter. The misguidance that the various nations suffer from, and their being deviated does not come about except by being far away from the path of Allaah – the Most Perfect, the Most High – and from what His Prophets and Messngers - may Allaah’s Peace and Prayers be upon them all – came with.

The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: "I am leaving behind you two matters, you will not go astray as long as you cling to them both, the Book of Allaah and my Sunnah." [2]

The great importance of the Muslim woman’s role – whether as wife, sister, or daughter, and the rights that are due to her and the rights that are due from her – have been explained in the noble Qur`aan, and further detailed of this have been explained in the purified Sunnah.

The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her, and the difficulties she has to shoulder – responsibilities and difficilties some of which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given precedence over and above the father. Allaah the Exalted says:

"And We have enjoined upon man to be good and dutiful to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness upon weakness and hardship upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years. Show gratitude and thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination." [Soorah Luqmaan 31:14]

Allaah the Exalted said:

"And We have enjoined upon man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship, and she brings him forth with hardship. And the bearing and weaning of him is thirty months." [Sooratul Ahqaaf 41:15]

A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said: "O Messenger of Allaah! Who from amongst mankind warrents the best companionship from me?" He replied: "Your mother."

The man asked, "Then who?" So he replied: "Your mother."

The man then asked, "Then who?" So the Prophet replied again: "Your mother."

Then the man asked, "Then who?" So he replied: "Your father." [3]

So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the likes of kindness and good treatment than the father.

As regards the wife, then her status and her effect in making the soul tranquil and serene has been clearly shown in the noble aayah (statement of Allaah), in His – the Exalted – saying:

"And from His signs is this: That He created for you wives amongst yourselves, so that you may find serentiy and tranquility in them. And He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in this are signs for those who reflect." [Sooratur Room 30:21]

Al-Haafidh Ibn Katheer (d.774H) – rahimahullaah – said whilst explaining the terms muwaddah and rahmah which occur in the above aayah:

"Al-muwaddah means love and affection and ar-rahmah means compassion and pity – since a man takes a woman either due to his love for her, or because of compassion and pity for her; by giving to her a child from himself…" [4]

And the unique stance that the Prophet’s (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) wife Khadeejah – radiyallaahu ‘anhaa – took, had a huge effect in calming and reassuring the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), when the angel Jibreel (‘alayhis salaam) first came to the cave of Hiraa. So the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) returned to Khadeejah (radiyallaahu ‘anhaa) with the first Revelation and with his heart beating and trembling severely, and he said to her: "Cover me! Cover me!"

So she covered him until his fear was over, after which he told Khadeejah (radiyallaahu ‘anhaa) everything that happened and said: "I fear that something may happen to me."

So she said to him:

"Never! By Allaah! Allaah will never disgrace you. You keep good ties with the relations, you help the poor and the destitute, you serve your guests generously and assist those who have been afflicted with calamities." [5]

And do not forget about ‘Aa`ishah (radiyallaahu ‘anhaa) and her great effect. Since even the great Companions used to take the knowledge of Hadeeth from her, and many of the Sahaabiyaat (female Companions) learned the various rulings pertaining to women’s issues from her.

And I have no doubt that my mother – may Allaah shower His mercy upon her – had a tremendous effect upon me, in encouraging me to study; and she assisted me in it. May Allaah greatly increase her reward and reward her with the best of rewards for what she did for me.

And there is no doubt also, that the house in which there is kindness, gentleness, love and care, along with the correct Islaamic tarbiyah (education and cultivation) will greatly effect the man. So he will become – if Allaah wills – successful in his affairs and in any matter – whether it be seeking knowledge, trading, earning a living, or other than this. So it is Allaah alone that I ask to grant success and to guide us all to that which He loves and is pleased with. And may the Prayers and Peace of Allaah be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his Family, his Companions and his followers.

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I wanted to share a moving story that I once heard and will always remember and cherish for its meanings. It’s the story of one of the great Imams of this Ummah, Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal.

His son, Abdullah, asked his father one day: “Abi when will we ever relax?” His father, one of the greatest revivers of the Sunnah and a role model for all Muslims, looked him in the eye and said:

“With the first step we take into Jannah.”

Ya Allah, what a beautiful response!

There are days that come to you and you’re tired, you just want to sleep and relax and “shut off” as they say. Those are the days in which you need to ask yourself a critical question: ‘Where am I going with life?’ If it’s towards Allah and for Allah, then regain your strength and continue your work, for Jannah is precious and must be sought. But if you look into your life and realise that it’s not towards Allah but towards Dunya, then your tiredness becomes a blessing, for it is a reminder that you need to change direction and renew your purpose in life.

I love this story on many levels. For one, it shows you that when someone’s focus is Jannah, their priorities change and their outlook on life is different. What we perceive as difficulty, they perceive as ease. What we perceive as calamity, they perceive as reward. What we perceive as obstacles, they perceive as opportunities for sincere dua. Moreover, when your focus is Jannah, this Dunya and its constant demand becomes small and the least of our concerns.

Also, I love the way the son began his question: “Abi” – a sweet way of addressing his father, and asked: “When will we ever relax?” If you notice, he didn’t say, “when will I relax Dad?” Even though he wanted to relax, he wasn’t selfish and also cared for his father’s condition. This also shows you that the father and son were working hard together. Again, when your focus is Jannah it reflects in your family, children, and those around you and everyone gears up towards that goal.

Our problem today is not that we’re tired, our problem today is that we relax too much. We do everything so that we relax. We cheat, break promises, do not fulfill our vows, lie, take and give bribery, and so on. Why? So we can relax. We don’t stay up for Tahajjud or wake up for Fajr, we don’t fast, or go for Hajj and Umrah… all so we can relax. We don’t walk towards the Masjid or open the Book of Allah so we can understand it, all in the name of “I need to relax!”

Dear brothers and sisters, there’s plenty of relaxation where we’re going, but this is not the time for it. Let’s all work for Jannah and be productive in the path of Allah, and work so hard that one day our children will approach us and ask: “Abi” or “Ummi”: “When will we ever relax?” and you can smile and look them in the eyes and say, “When we enter Jannah inshaAllah”.

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{Say: "If you (really) love Allâh then follow me, Allâh will love you and forgive you of your sins.

And Allâh is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."} (Aal 'Imraan [3]:31)

The sound of this duff is silent and only I know,

That within my heart it beats love with a rhythmical flow,

For as I read the biography of the Rasool I came to know,

That without a doubt he was the last Prophet sent after many in a row.

Yes, his Character was so pure… just like snow,

His shoulders testified so that all would recognize him and know,

That he was the lofty Messenger, sent to mankind as a whole,

Even to the people who had then stooped and even now, stoop so low.

Allah (Almighty) even, by the pointing of the Prophet’s finger, parted the moon,

For a people to witness the truth of this Message which was to spread soon,

Around the world so quickly, like the period between morning and noon!

Sall Allahu ’alyhi Wa Sallam…

They even buried their female children under the earth so low,

Various tribes were full of hatred - to each other a foe,

But he was sent so that we’d worship Allah united in a row,

Although, in spreading his message, we have become so slow,

Disunited, quarreling and in a row.

If only we’d know,

Realize and begin to spread his message and sow,

The seeds of goodness that to us he did show.

Peace and blessings be upon his soul,

For truly his way saves many from the hellfire’s burning, blazing and devouring hole.

From within the sons of Adam his mention has great height,

The skies were lucky to witness his like,

In the world it is rare to witness such a sight,

Let’s learn about his life and hold on to it tight,

For by this we will be following the divine guidance full of light.

Sall Allahu ’alyhi Wa Sallam…

So what is this that so many Muslims are sowing,

Into this deen without thoroughly thinking, studying and researching,

Just blindly following what people are saying,

Without knowledge so many are innovating,

Away from his guidance we are moving,

For, the Sahaabah loved him so much and weren’t into tainting,

The deen of Allah that is to be followed without hesitating.

Whatever is added to our deen - which we refer to as Bid’ah - innovating,

The Prophet clearly said it will be rejected and not accepted.

In fact, on the Day of Judgment the angels will be shoving,

Those who innovated, away from the Kawther, which will be shining and glowing.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) will stand and we will, Allah Willing, see him,

But then, the chance of the innovators drinking from his hands will be dim,

Now’s the time, don’t just hope by wishful thinking that you will win,

On a day when will become apparent each and every sin.

So dear Muslim, please consider,

Whether your actions are in line with the Sunnah,

For we love the Rasool and insha’Allah will meet him sooner or later,

And we both know that none of us is to his way a hater or an objector.

Sall Allahu ’alyhi Wa Sallam…

So, dear Muslim, by Allah! The silent duff continues to beat,

“..Sall Allahu ‘alyhi wa Sallam..”, to the heart so refreshing and sweet,

Desiring the company of the Prophet, and of his Companions, for us to meet,

After the trials and tribulations of this world and its testing heat.

O Allah expand our good deeds even those as small as a grain’s wheat!

Allow us to eat from Paradise’s fruits, so sweet,

Give us, within the highest Paradise, next to the Prophet (peace be upon him) a seat,

In which there will be no pain, no hurt and no deceit.

Nothing will be incomplete or in a boring way repeat,

You’ll walk within its beautiful meadows and enlightened streets,

And there you’ll see the Prophet’s house… from you away now only a few feet,

Joy upon joy, treat upon treat!

Sall Allahu ’alyhi Wa Sallam…

So, today and every day, let’s send our salutations his way,

Especially on the blessed day of Friday,

So that it may reach him without delay,

Thus we’ll be saved from great dismay.

In this way we will gain rewards within each and every passing transient day,

And, Allah Willing, we’ll become more focused and saved from going astray,

Because we’ll be following the Prophet’s say,

And hence allowing his Sunnah to take us away,

From the devil’s deceit which has made so many sway,

From the Straight path and its way.

Sall Allahu ’alyhi Wa Sallam…

You never know…

This repetitive duff, which seems like something small,

May become a barrier, a wall,

Preventing you from hell and its destructive fall.

O Allah forgive us! For surely we must hear either Paradise's or Hell's call,

That’s why we must ask Allah to forgive us all,

And to follow the Prophet’s call,

Each and every one of us... all-in-all.

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Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak used to often stay at home, so he was asked, "Don’t you get lonely?" He replied,

"How can I get lonely when I am with the Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wasallam, i.e. I read his hadith)?"

(Ibn ‘Asâkir, Târîkh Dimishq Vol. 32 p458.)

***

Even if I were to spend my whole life,

Fighting off the soul’s strife,

Completing the day-to-day chores of a wife,

But studying the Prophetic Narrations with a heartfelt drive,

By the Will of Allah, the Most Wise,

I’d surely have made the most of my life.

Each time the soul endures,

The painstaking hours by which to adore,

Each word from the ahaadeeth of the Prophet of our Lord,

Allowing each breath and heart beat to run with it in unison and flow,

Pushing away the sadness and worries deep inside below,

By walking into a door,

Not only travelled by me, but also by many of those who lived afore.

I wasn’t given the chance to live in his time,

Nor see the Prophetic seal, the Prophetic Sign,

But I will strive hard to go back in time,

And live those moments through the narrations passed down in line…

Regarding the man who was the last Prophet before the end of time.

Then, just maybe, maybe I will see him,

Allah is All Forgiving, although right now the chances seem dim,

For I have a lot yet to learn and win,

But I hope that I am on the path, even if it’s just virtually on the brim,

Of catching on to something great,

By studying about him and refuting those who hate

His Noble ways, before it’s too late.

O Allah make me not wait,

Till the hereafter to see him, make it in my fate,

That I see him in this life within my dreams,

Beams upon beams, light upon light,

To take away my heart’s plight,

And give me the drive to study, teach, write and cite,

Although I know I’ll never truly fulfil his blessed right.

Even if I were to spend my whole life on this path,

I ask Allah for sincerity, His Pleasure and to save me from His Wrath,

So that although I came from the last,

I hope to be among the first to run into Paradise

….at last.

It was once said to ‘Abdullah b. Al-Mubârak, “O Abû ‘Abd Al-Rahmân, you often sit alone at home.” He said,

“I am alone? I am with the Prophet – Allâh’s peace and blessings be upon him – and his Companions.”

Meaning: reading hadîth. (Ibn ‘Asâkir, Târîkh Dimishq Vol. 32 p458.)

Shaqîq b. Ibrâhîm reports: It was once said to ‘Abdullah b. Al-Mubârak, “After you have prayed with us you don’t sit with us?” He replied,

“I go and sit with the Sahâbah and the Tâbi’în.”

We said, “And how can you sit with the Sahâbah and Tâbi’în (when they have all passed away)?” He replied,

“I go and read the knowledge I have collected, I find their narrations and deeds. What would I do with you? You sit around backbiting people.” (Al-Dhahabî, Siyar A’lâm Al-Nubalâ` in his biography of ‘Abdullah b. Al-Mubârak)

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Laziness is a sister of failure. Keep yourself busy all the time. Take care of your house, do your duties your work or pray, read Qur’an, read useful books or sit with family and friends and talk to them about things that will bring them closer to Allah. Idleness leads to worries, anxiety, devilish whispers and doubts that nothing can relieve except hard work. 

Never look at the past because it makes your future not worth anything, try to move on as you go on. Try to keep your emotions in control whenever you see something that makes your future feel meaningless. Give minimum quality to problems and forget them as you move on with your life. This will make you happier and stronger and make your dreams come true faster inshaa' Allah.

Give thanks to Allah for His blessings and do not waste your time with that which is not pleasing to Him. Seek out that which is beneficial and useful, such as Islamic magazines, beneficial books and articles that will benefit you both in this world and the Hereafter. Call others to the path of Allah with kind words, good exhortation, wisdom, by means of your good behaviour and by setting a good example. Always make the following du'a and ask Allah to protect you from laziness:

“Allahumma inni a’udhu bika min al-hammi wal-hazan wa a’udhu bika min al-‘ajzi wal-kasal wa a’udhu bika min al-bukhli wal-jubn wa a’udhu bika min ghalbat ad-dayn wa qahr ar-rijal"

(O Allah, I seek refuge with You from distress and grief, and I seek refuge with You from incapacity and laziness and grief, and I seek refuge with You from miserliness and cowardice, and I seek refuge in You from the burden of debt and from being over powered by men).

I ask Allaah to guide us to that which He loves and which pleases Him.

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It is reported that Wahb b. Munabbih - Allâh have mercy on him - said:

A scholar once asked another greater than him in knowledge,

"How much should I build?" He replied,

"As much as shelters you from the sun and the rain."

He asked, "How much food should I eat?" He replied, "

More than what keeps you hungry and less than what makes you full."

He asked, "How much should I wear?" He replied,

"As the Messiah (Jesus) did."

He asked, "How much should I laugh?" He replied,

"As much as appears on your face but does not make audible your voice."

He asked, "How much should I cry?" He replied,

"Never tire from crying out of the fear of Allâh."

He asked, "How much should I hide my deeds?" He replied,

"Until people think you had not done a good deed."

He asked, "How much should I make public my deeds?" He replied,

"As much as will let the keen follow your example but not have the people talk about you."

Wahb said.

"Everything has two ends and a middle. If you grab one end, the other will slant, but if you take the middle, both ends will balance. Stick to the balanced middle in all affairs."

Source: Abû Nu'aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 4:45.

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The history of Islam abounds in scores of such gallant actions on the part of Muslim women, although, unfortunately, they are not commonly known.

Prior to Islam, the Arab women used to accompany men to the battlefield. With their children, they remained behind the fighting lines and looked after the wounded soldiers, attended the horses, comforted their valiant husbands, roused their spirit by narrating the thrilling achievements of their ancestors, disarmed the dead soldiers of the enemy, rallied the panic-stricken fugitives, and guarded the prisoners.

The famous poet of Arabia, 'Umar Bin Kulthum, recites in pride,

Islam also maintained this tradition; Women always followed men in the Jihaad. In the battle of Uhud, according to Bukhaari, 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) carried a leather bag full of water to quench the thirst of wounded soldiers. She was helped in the task by Umm Salim and Umm Salit.

The traditionist Abu Nayeem relates that in the battle of Khaibar, half a dozen women of Madinah followed the marching army. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not know of this and, when he (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was informed, he angrily asked them why they had come at all. They reverently answered that they had medicines with them, that they would nurse and dress the wounded, take out arrows from the bodies of the soldiers, and arrange for their rations. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) allowed them to accompany the army, and, when Khaybar was conquered, he gave a share of the war booty to these women also.[1]

In a number of battles, Umm Salim and a few other ladies of the Ansar rendered similar service.[2] Rabee', daughter of Mu'aadh, along with other women, performed the duty of carrying the martyrs and the wounded from the battlefield of Uhud to Madinah.[3] Umm Raqida had a pavilion for the wounded, where she washed and dressed their wounds.[4]

Umm Zaid, Ashjiya, and five other ladies helped the Muslims during the battle of Khaybar, by working at spinning wheels. They also picked up arrows from the field, and offered grain flour to the soldiers.[5] Umm Attiya cooked for the Companions in seven battles.[6]

Tabari writes of one occasion when the corpses of the Muslim soldiers lay in great numbers in the van. The group of men appointed for burying the martyrs commissioned women to look after the wounded. In the battles of Aghwath and Armath, women and children dug graves.[7]

The battle of Qadisiya is described thus by a woman who were present,

"When the battle was over, we (women) rushed forward daringly to the battlefield with rods in our hands and picked up the wounded Muslim soldiers."[8]

The above incidents, however, not only testify to the religious zeal, national enthusiasm, and heroism of Muslim women, but also detail the various duties they were called upon to perform from time to time. They did not shirk the humble and unpleasant chores: the digging of graves and the procurement of rations for the army. Not only did the women nurse the wounded in the rear, they also brought in the casualties from the battlefield. Not content with urging men to take a firm stand, sometimes, they actually helped them by joining in the battle. In short, no task was too difficult or too unpleasant for them to attempt.

If you examine the battles of the early period of Islamic history, you will find women engaged in these duties in the rear. The last mentioned services rendered by Muslim women require, however, some elaboration, and we will go into detail to show how nobly the respected women among the Muslims discharged this task.

The mother of Anas b. Malik (Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet's (peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) servant, Umm Saleem, usually accompanied the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to the field. When Taleeb b. 'Umair adopted Islam and informed his mother of this, she said,

"You have sided with the man who deserved the most. Would that I had the strength and the ability of man, I would protect him and fight for him."[10]

In the battle of the Ditch, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and his Companions (Allah be pleased with them all) were fighting against the Jews. When Banu Qurayza advanced towards the place where Muslim women and children had entrenched themselves, there were no soldiers to protect these women against them. Meanwhile, a Jew chanced to appear near them. It was feared that the Jew might betray them to Banu Quraiza who would then attack at the earliest opportunity. Safiyyah, the aunt of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and the mother of Zubayr, asked Hassaan b. Thabit to kill the Jew. Seeing his hesitation, Safiyyah herself climbed down with a pole of the pavilion in her hand and killed the Jew with it. This was the first heroic action, says the historian Ibn Atheer, done by a Muslim woman.[11]

_________________

Footnotes:

[1] Abu Dawud, Fath-e-Khaibar.
[2] Abu Dawud, Vol. 1, p. 252
[3] Bukhari, Kitab-ut-Tib.
[4] Abu Dawud, Vol. I p. 270.
[5] Sahih Muslim, Vol. 11, p. 105 (Egypt)
[6] Tabari Vol VI, p. 2317 (European Edn.).
[7] Tabari, Vol. V, p. 2363.
[8] Ibid.
[9] Usud-ul-Chabs, Vol. V. p. 591.
[10] Isti'ab Taleeb, b.'Umair.
[11] Usud-ul-Ghabn, description of Safia, Vol. V. p. 591

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For one to feel alienation is not necessarily a bad sign, infact it could well be a good sign for you! The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Islam began as something strange and will revert to being something strange, so glad tidings to the strangers.” (Narrated by Muslim (145).)

The word tooba (translated here as, “glad tidings”) has many meanings, such as:

• Goodness and honour;
• A great tree in Paradise;
• Joy and happiness;
• And many other meanings, all of which may apply here.

As-Sindi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said,

'“Strange” because its followers are small in numbers. The basic meaning of ghareeb (stranger) is one who is far from his home.

“And will revert to being something strange” means that few will adhere to it and help others to do so, even if the Muslims are many.

“to the strangers” means those who follow its commands.

“Tooba” is derived from the word tayyib (good), and it is interpreted as referring to Paradise or to a great tree that grows there.

This indicates that supporting Islam and obeying its commands may require the one who does so to leave his homeland and be patient in bearing the hardships of being away from his homeland, as was the case when it (the Islamic Da'wah) first began.' (Sharh Sunan Ibn Majaah [hadeeth no 3986.])

We have the best example in the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He brought light to his people, but they insisted on remaining in the darkness of kufr (disbelief) and ignorance. They accused him of being a sorcerer, soothsayer or madman, but he was patient in calling them, and he did not get fed up of repeating his call, using different methods of calling individuals and groups, calling in secret and in the open, until he attained great success. Similarly, those daa'iyyahs (women who call others to Islaan) who came after him called the non-Muslims to Islam, and called sinners to obedience, and called innovators to the Sunnah. Many of them experienced hardship, distress and difficulties, but that did not stop them from persisting in da’wah.

Think about these examples, and do what they did, and be patient as they were patient, so that you may attain the pleasure of Allaah. What you hear of mockery was also done by those who came before them, and the fools still repeat it with regard to those who promote the Sunnah, but that does not harm them or make them stop conveying the religion of Allaah.

In addition to being patient in calling people, we advise you to select wise people among other women and relatives to convey the religion of Allaah, those who may not listen to you. So that you can remind them of the truths of Islaam, for if people are happy to belong to Islaam, that does not prevent them from following the Sunnah, but there may be other obstacles that are preventing them from coming to the path of truth, such as misguided scholars and proponents of bid'ah (innovation), or specious arguments and whims and desires, and so on. It may also be due to the fact that we are failing to convey the truth of Islam to them, or we do not have wise ways of conveying it.

We must be gentle and patient, and select the people, and address them politely. Use different means such as audio tapes, video lectures and books, and you may see some good results.

Strive to make your house the focal point of this da’wah. Start with your husband and children, so that this will become a house of blessing for all people. Remember that our mother Khadeejah bint Khuwaylid was the first one of this Ummah to become Muslim, and she was the first one to support the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in conveying the message and calling her daughters to Islam. Her house was the first house to become Muslim, and from it the call of goodness spread to all corners of the earth, so be like her and follow her example.

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

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The Muslim student puts his trust in Allaah when facing the tests of this world, and he seeks His help whilst following the prescribed means, in accordance with the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “The strong believer is better and is more beloved to Allaah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive to attain that which will benefit you and seek the help of Allaah, and do not feel helpless.” (Saheeh Muslim, hadeeth no. 2664)

Among those means are the following:

- Turning to Allaah by making du’aa (supplication) in any way that is prescribed in Islam, such as saying, “Rabbiy ishrah li sadri wa yassir li amri (O my Lord, expand my chest and make things easy for me).”

- Getting used to sleeping early and going to exams on time.

- Preparing all required or permitted equipment such as pens, rulers and setsquares, calculators and watches, because being well prepared helps one to answer questions.

- Reciting the du’aa’ for leaving the house: “Bismillaah, tawakkaltu ‘ala Allaah, wa laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa Billaah. Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika an adilla aw udalla, aw azilla aw uzalla, aw azlima aw uzlama, aw ajhala aw yujhala ‘alayya (In the name of Allaah, I put my trust in Allaah, and there is no strength and no power except with Allaah. O Allaah, I seek refuge with You lest I should stray or be led astray, lest I slip (commit a sin unintentionally) or be tripped, lest I oppress or be oppressed, lest I behave foolishly or be treated foolishly).” Do not forget to seek your parents’ approval, for their du’aa’ for you will be answered.

- Mention the name of Allaah before you start, for mentioning the name of Allaah is prescribed when beginning any permissible action; this brings blessing, and seeking the help of Allaah is one of the means of strength.

-Fear Allaah with regard to your classmates, and do not be affected by their anxiety or fear just before the exam, for anxiety is a contagious disease. Instead, make them feel optimistic by saying good words as prescribed in Islam. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was optimistic when he heard the name of Suhayl (which means “easy”) and he said: “Things have been made easy for you.” He used to like to hear the words ‘Yaa Raashid", when he went out for any purpose. So be optimistic that you and your brothers will pass this exam.

- Remembering Allaah (dhikr) dispels anxiety and tension. If something is too difficult for you, then pray to Allaah to make it easy for you. Whenever Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) found something too difficult to understand, he would say, “O You Who taught Ibraaheem, teach me; O You Who caused Sulaymaan to understand, cause me to understand.”

- Choose a goodplace to sit during the exam, if you can. Keep your back straight, and sit on the chair in a healthy manner.

- Look over the exam first. Studies advise spending 10% of the exam time in reading the questions carefully, noting the important words and dividing one’s time between the questions.

- Plan to answer the easy questions first, then the difficult ones. Whilst reading the questions, write notes and ideas which you can use in your answers later.

- Answer questions according to importance.

- Start by answering the easy questions which you know. Then move on to the questions which carry high marks, and leave till the end the questions to which you do not know the answers, or which you think will take a long time to produce an answer or which do not carry such high marks.

- Take your time to answer, for the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Deliberation is from Allaah and haste is from the Shaytaan.” (A hasan hadeeth. Saheeh al-Jaami, 3011).

- Think carefully about the answer and choose the right answer when answering multiple-choice questions. Deal with them in the following manner. If you are sure that you have chosen the right answer, then beware of waswasah (insinuating whispers from the Shaytaan). If you are not sure, then start by eliminating the wrong or unlikely answers, then choose the correct answer based on what you think is most likely to be correct. If you guessed at a correct answer then do not change it unless you are sure that it is wrong – especially if you will lose marks for a wrong answer. Research indicates that the correct answer is usually that which the student thinks of first.

- In written exams, collect your thoughts before you start to answer. Write an outline for your answer with some words which will indicate the ideas which you want to discuss. Then number the ideas in the sequence in which you want to present them.

- Write the main points of your answer at the beginning of the line, because this is what the examiner is looking for, and he may not see what he is looking for if it is in the middle of the page and he is in a hurry.

- Devote 10% of the time for reviewing your answers. Take your time in reviewing, especially in mathematical problems and writing numbers. Resist the desire to hand in the exam papers quickly, and do not let the fact that some people are leaving early bother you. They may be among the people who have handed in their papers too early.

- If you discover after the exam that you answered some questions incorrectly, then take that as a lesson in the importance of being well prepared in the future, and not rushing to answer questions. Accept the will and decree of Allaah and do not fall prey to frustration and despair. Remember the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “If anything befalls you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such and such.’ Rather say, ‘Qadar Allaah wa maa sha’a kaan (the decree of Allaah and what He wills happened),’ for saying ‘if only’ opens the door for the Shaytaan.” (Saheeh Muslim, and the first part of this hadeeth was mentioned above).

- Note that cheating is haraam whether it is in foreign language tests or any other tests. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Whoever cheats is not one of us.” It is wrongdoing and it is a haraam means of attaining a degree or certificate, etc., that you have no right to. The consensus is that cheating is a kind of cooperation in sin and transgression. So do without that which is haraam, and Allaah will suffice you from His bounty. Reject all offers of haraam things that come to you from others. Whoever gives up a thing for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will compensate him with something better. You have to denounce and resist evil, and tell the authorities about any such thing that you see during the exam, or before or after it. This is not the forbidden kind of slander rather it is denouncing evil which is obligatory.

Advise those who buy or sell questions or post them on the Internet etc., or who prepare cheat notes. Tell them to fear Allaah, and tell them of the ruling on what they are doing and on the money they earn from that. Tell them that the time they are spending in preparing these haraam things, if they spent it in studying, or answering previous exams, or helping one another to understand the subject before the exam, that would be better for them than doing these haraam things.

- Remember what you have prepared for the Hereafter, and the questions of the examination in the grave, and how to be saved on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever is saved from the Fire and admitted to Paradise will indeed have succeeded.

We ask Allaah to make us succeed in this world and cause us to be among those who are victorious and saved in the Hereafter, for He is the All-Hearing Who answers prayer.

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I stood and wondered how I could set her free
So I asked if she knew where they’d hidden the key.
She wiped away tears and looked over at me
With pity that I assumed it would be so easy!

She said: “Buried inside pages of distant past
With a heritage of lions, so rich and so vast
You’ll find the key with Sumayyah, when to faith she held fast
As they speared her chastity, and she breathed her last.

And it’s the finger of Bilal, the heroic black slave,
The sign of Tawhid that in their faces he’d wave
As he lay tied down in a hot desert grave
Their harming of him made him all the more brave.

And it’s the pledge of ‘Ikrimah, enemy turned warrior
Who changed his life to make the truth superior.
Khalid himself could not hold him back from more
When his pledge at Yarmuk left the Romans so sore.

It is the back with shredded flesh and torn skin
Of Ahmad bin Hambal, who refused to give in.
He answered their whips with the truth and a grin
To protect our religion, he would not let them win.

And it is the bittersweet dust of the land of Hittin,
That once engulfed the knights of Salah ad-Din
From the filth of dishonor, he made that dust clean
And for the respect of the world did he set the scene.

It was the rope around the neck of the desert’s lion
‘Umar Mukhatar, who would bow down to no Italian.
Refusing to live in a state of humiliation
His chin high to the end, with no fear of the Creation.

The rope was passed on to Sayyid’s waiting head
With one last chance for him to be spared from this dread.
And from the choicest fruits, they promised he would be fed
But his index finger led him to another door instead.

The same finger that pointed up as Malcolm X lay still
Ending a life of honor, that was one struggle uphill.
He left a life of crime, transforming himself until
He spoke bitter truth with eloquence and skill…”

She sat in the jail where we left her behind
Indeed this key will be difficult to find
But it is you if you refuse to be blind
And decide to free yourself from the colonized mind.

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1) Six Etiquettes of Learning [2] 

Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim - rahimahullâh - said,

2) Fruits of Humility

Ibn al-Qayyim - rahimahullâh - said,[4] "One of the Salaf (Pious Predecessors) said,

‘Indeed a servant commits a sin by which he enters Paradise; and another does a good deed by which he enters the Fire.’

It was asked, ‘How is that?’ So he replied,

‘The one who committed the sin, constantly thinks about it; which causes him to fear it, regret it, weep over it and feel ashamed in front of his Lord - the Most High - due to it. He stands before Allâh, broken-hearted and with his head lowered in humility. So this sin is more beneficial to him than doing many acts of obedience, since it caused him to have humility and humbleness – which leads to the servant’s happiness and success – to the extent that this sin becomes the cause for him entering Paradise. As for the doer of good, then he does not consider this good a favour from his Lord Upon him. Rather, he becomes arrogant and amazed with himself, saying, 'I have achieved such and such, and such and such'. So this further increases him in self adulation, pride and arrogance – such that this becomes the cause for his destruction.’”

3) Purifying the Heart

Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullâh) said,

“There is no doubt that the heart becomes covered with rust, just as metal dishes – silver, and their like – become rusty. So the rust of the heart is polished with dhikr (remembrance of Allâh), for dhikr polishes the heart until it becomes like a shiny mirror. However, when dhikr is abandoned, the rust returns; and when it commences then the heart again begins to be cleansed. Thus the heart becoming rusty is due to two matters: sins and ghaflah (neglecting remembrance of Allâh). Likewise, it is cleansed and polished by two things: istighfâr (seeking Allâh’s forgiveness) and dhikr.”[5]

4) Jihâad Against the Self

“Jihâd (striving) against the soul has four stages:

Firstly: To strive in learning guidance and the religion of truth, without which there will be no success. Indeed, there can be no true happiness, nor any delight in this world and in the Hereafter, except through it.

Secondly: Striving to act upon what has been learnt, since knowledge without action will not benefit, rather it will cause harm.

Thirdly: Striving to invite others towards it and to teach those who do not know, otherwise he may be considered from those who hide what Allâh has revealed of guidance and clear explanation. Such knowledge will neither benefit, nor save a person from the punishment of Allâh.

Fourthly: Striving to be patient and persevering against those who oppose this da‘wah (call) to Allâh and those who seek to cause harm - patiently bearing all these hardships for the sake of Allâh.

When these four stages are completed then such a person is considered to be amongst the Rabbâniyyûn. The Salaf were agreed that a Scholar does not deserve the title of Rabbânî until he recognises and knows the truth, acts upon it, and teaches it to others. So whosoever has knowledge, acts upon it, and teaches this knowledge to others, is considered from the Rabbâniyyûn.”[6]

5) Trials of the Heart

Ibn al-Qayyim said, whilst commenting upon the following hadîth, “Trials and tribulations will be presented to hearts, as a reed mat is interwoven stick by stick. Any heart which absorbs these trials will have a black mark put in it. However, any heart that rejects them will have a white mark put in it. The result is that hearts will be of two kinds: one white like a white stone, which will not be harmed by trials as long as the heavens and earth endure; and the other dark and rusty, like an over-turned vessel; not able to recognise the good, nor reject evil, but rather being absorbed with its desires.” [7]

“The fitan (trials) which are presented to the hearts - and which are the cause of its weakness - are,

(i) the trials relating to shahwah (false desire) and
(ii) the trials relating to shubhah (doubt)... so the first causes intentions and will to be corrupted, whilst the second causes knowledge and beliefs to be corrupted”.[8]

Speaking about such trials, he (rahimahullâh) said,

"Hearts - when exposed to such fitân (trials) – are of two types, 

[The first type]: A heart, which, when exposed to such trials, absorbs it like a sponge that soaks-up water, leaving in it a black stain. Such a heart continues to soak-up the various trials that are presented to it, until it becomes dark and corrupted - which is what is meant by “an over-turned vessel.” So when this occurs, two dangerous and deadly diseases take hold of it and plunge it into destruction:

Firstly: confusing good with evil, so it neither recognises the good, nor rejects the evil. This disease may take hold of it to such an extent that it believes good to be evil; and evil to be good, Sunnah (Prophetic Guidance) to be bid‘ah (innovation), and innovations to be the Sunnah; and the truth to be falsehood: and falsehood the truth.

Secondly: judging by its whims and desires, over and against what Allâh’s Messenger  came with being enslaved by its whims and desires and being led by them also.

[The second type]: A white heart in which the light of eemaan (faith) is bright and its radiance is illuminating. So when trials are presented to such a heart, it rejects and turns away from them. This further increases its light and illumination and its strength.”[9]

6) Four Principles of Worship

“The verse “You alone do we worship.” [Sûrah al fâtihah 1:5] is built upon four principles,

Ascertaining what Allâh and His Messenger love and are pleased with, from, 

i. the sayings of the heart 

ii. the tongue

iii. actions of the heart

iv. actions of the limbs.

So al-‘Ubûdiyyah (servitude and slavery to Allâh) is a comprehensive term for all these four stages. The one who actualises them has indeed actualised, “You alone do we worship.”

The saying of the heart: It is I‘tiqâd (belief) in what Allâh, the Most Perfect, informed about His Self; concerning His Names, His Attributes, His Actions, His Angels, and all that He sent upon the tongue of His Messenger.

The saying of the tongue: It is to inform and convey (what Allâh has revealed), to call to it, defend it, to explain the false innovations which oppose it, to establish its remembrance and to convey what it orders.

The action of the heart: Such as love for Him, reliance upon Him, repenting to Him, having fear and hope in Him, making the Deen (religion) purely and sincerely for Him, having patience in what He orders and prohibits, having patience with what He decrees and being pleased with it, having allegiance and enmity for His sake, humbling oneself in front of Him and having humility in front of Him, becoming tranquil with Him and other than this from the actions of the heart which are actually connected to the action of the limbs ... and actions of the limbs without the action of the heart is of little benefit if any benefit at all.

The action of the limbs: Such as Prayer and Jihâd, attending the Jumu‘ah and being with the Jamâ‘ah (the main body of the Muslims), aiding those who are unable and displaying goodness and kindness to the creation, and other than this.”[10]

______________

Footnotes:

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When news of the Christian army that had prepared on the horizons to wipe out Islam reached him, Abu Qudaamah Ash-Shaamee moved quickly to the Mimbar of the Masjid.  In a powerful and emotional speech, Abu Qudaamah ignited the desire of the community to defend their land, Jihad for the sake of Allah.  As he left the Masjid, walking down a dark and secluded alley, a women stopped him and said,

"As salamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaah!"

Abu Qudaamah stopped and did not answer. She repeated her salaam again, adding, "This is not how pious people should act."

She stepped forward from the shadows.  "I heard you in the Masjid encouraging the believers to go for Jihaad and all I have is this…"

She handed him two long braids.

"It can be used for a horse rein.  Perhaps Allah may write me as one of those who went for Jihaad."

The next day as that Muslim village set out to confront the crusader army, a young boy ran through the gathering and stood at the hooves of Abu Qudaamah's horse. 

"I ask you by Allah to allow me to join the army."

Some of the elder fighters laughed at the boy.  "The horses will trample you," they said.  But Abu Qudaamah looked down into his eyes as he asked again, "I ask you by Allah, let me join." Abu Qudaamah then said, "On one condition, if you are killed you will take me with you to Jannah amongst those you will be allowed to intercede for." That young boy smiled.  "It's a promise."

When the two armies met and the fighting intensified, the young boy on the back of Abu Qudaamah's horse asked, "I ask you by Allah to give me 3 arrows."  "You'll lose them!" The boy repeated, "I ask you by Allah to give me them." Abu Qudaamah gave him the arrows and the boy took aim. "Bismillaah!" The arrow flew and killed a Roman. "Bismillaah!" The second arrow flew, killing a second Roman. "Bismillaah!" The third arrow flew, killing a third Roman. An arrow then struck the boy in the chest - knocking him off the horse.  Abu Qudaamah jumped down to his side, reminding the boy in his final breaths, "Don't forget the promise!" The boy reached into his pocket, extracted a pouch and said, "Please return this to my mother."  "Who's your mother?" asked Abu Qudaamah.

"The women that gave you the braids yesterday."

Think about this Muslimah.  How did she reach this level of taqwaa (Allah-consciousness) where she would sacrifice her hair when today other women do the same to imitate kaafir (disbelieving) icons, and her son when other women would die so long as their son stayed home.  Indeed, she spent her life in the obedience of Allah, and when exam time came, she passed. Not only did she pass herself, but her children shone with that same beauty of eemaan (faith), children that she herself raised.

Very often - and perhaps in our times when we have forgotten much of the Sunnah (Prophetic Guidance)- the lectures, khutbahs, and talks are all directed to the Muslim men.  We forget that from the hady – guidance and way – of Rasoolullah (sal Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam) was that he would allocate a specific day of the week to teach the women. Women would come up to him in Hajj, in the street, even in his home and ask him questions about the Deen.  At the Eid Salaah, after addressing the men, he would take Bilal and go to the women section and address the women.  Allah revealed an entire Surah by the name of Surah An-Nisaa' – the Women.  And another by the name of – Maryam.  And a third by the name of al Mujaadalah – the women who pleads.

Dear Sister, Dear Mother, Dear Daughter.  Everyone is looking for happiness and fun, and I am sure you are not excluded.  Where is that happiness and fun though?  And where and when do you want that happiness?  Do you want happiness, do you want to have `fun' in this life at the expense of the hereafter?  Or is it in the hereafter, when you meet Allah that you want to be happy?

Every where you go you shall find a swarm of people and media and culture swearing to you that happiness is the happiness of the Dunyaa (this world). Is it really happiness though?  On the day of Repayment, Allah shall take the most `happiest' disbeliever of this world and dip him in Jahannam – Hellfire.  Then he shall ask him, "Have you ever seen any happiness?" The disbeliver will say, "Never!"

Nay, the happiness is only the happiness of the hereafter no matter what happens in this world.  Allah shall bring on the Day of Repayment the most tested human and dip him in Jannah – Paradise.  He shall then ask him, "Have you ever seen sadness?" And that person shall say, "Never!"

And don't think that this happiness and fun is exclusive to the hereafter.  It is very much tied to this life as well.  Listen to and understand the words of Allah,

{Whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, while he (or she) is a true believer verily to him We will give a good life (in this world with respect, contentment and lawful provision), and We shall pay them certainly a reward in proportion to the best of what they used to do (i.e. Paradise in the Hereafter).} [Surah An-Nahl (16/97)]

Dear Sister, you have to understand that you or anyone may enter Hellfire!  By Allah, we are not better than Faatimah, the daughter of Rasoolullah (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam).  The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said to her, "O Fatimah the daughter of Muhammad, ask me whatever you wish from my wealth, for I shall avail you nothing to Allah." Meaning that it doesn't matter if you're my daughter, if you don't work for Jannah, saying to Allah that my father is so-and-so will not help you in anyway.

Islam is filled with many Mu'minahs (believing women) that completed their taqwaa (Allah-consciousness) of Allah.  When the other girls put up posters of non-Muslim singers and disbelieving athletes and non-Muslim actresses, you should put up posters in your heart of Fatimah and many other Mu'minahs.

Aasiyah, the wife of Fir'own (Pharoah). Her eeman (faith) in Allah thrived under the shadow of someone that said, "I am your Lord, Most High!" When news reached Fir'own of his wife's eeman he beat her and commanded his guards to beat her. They took her out in the scalding noon heat, tied her hands and feet and beat her perpetually. Who did she turn to? She turned to Allah! She prayed, "My Lord, build for me a home with you in Paradise and save me from Fir'own and his deeds and save me from the transgressive people."

It was narrated that when she said this, the sky opened for her and she saw her home in Paradise. She smiled. The guards watched astonished - she's being tortured and she smiles? Frustrated, Fir'own commanded a boulder to be brought and dropped on Aasiyah, to crush her to death. But Allah took her soul before the boulder was brought and she became an example for all the believing men and women till the end of time:

{And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe: the wife of Fir'own (Pharaoh) – when she said, "My Lord, Build for me a home with You in Paradise, and save me from Fir'own and his deeds, and save me from the transgressive-disbelieving people.”} [Tahreem [66]:11]

When we talk about Jihaad and Shuhadaa' - martyrs, do you know who was the first Muslim in Islam to be killed in the path of Allah?  It was Summayah, the mother of Ammar.  When Abu Jahl heard of her Islam and her husband Yaasir and her son Ammar, he whipped them all and beat them. So much so, that Rasoolullah would pass by them as they went through this test of their eemaan and would say to them, "Be patient O family of Yaasir, for you have a date set (when you shall enter) Jannah!"

As Abu Jahl beat Sumayyah one day, she refused to recant her faith, something that enraged Abu Jahl. He took a spear as she lay on the burning sand, looking up to the sky, and he speared her through her midsection.  She was the first of her family and the entire Ummah to meet Allah as a Martyr.

Dear Sister, our role models come from the Qur’aan.  You may have heard the story of the boy and the king. When the entire village became Muslim by the death of that young boy, the king ordered that an enormous fire be kindled and that all those who would not recant their religion be burnt alive.  A Mu'minah, stood with her baby over the fire. She looked at her baby, and seeking her child's weakness and innocence, she considered turning her back.  The baby said to her, "What are you waiting for mother.  Go forward for you are on the truth!" She nodded.  Then with her baby in hand she was pushed to her death.

{And they ill-treated them for no other reason than that they believed in Allah, Exalted in Power, Worthy of all Praise!- * Him to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth! And Allah is Witness to all things.} [Surah AlBuruj, 8,9]

And dear sister, your role models come to you from today.  As her son tells us, a senior women in a Muslim land decided that all the vanity that normally happens in the gatherings of women was not for her.  She turned to Salaah and praying at night, and in her old age, she found herself calling out to her son from her prayer room.  Her son says, "I came in and she was in Sajdah (prostration) saying that she was paralysed!" Her son took her to the doctors and she began a cycle of rehabilitation, but there was little hope. She then commanded her son to take her back home, take her back to her prayer room, take her back to that Sajdah.  As she prayed to Allah in her sajdah, the night came when she called to her son,

"Astawdi'ukallaah alladhee laa yadee'u wa daa'i'uh”

I leave you in the trust of Allah, and whenever something is left in Allah's trust it is never lost.)

She passed away in her Sajdah.  Her muscles froze in that position and so they had to wash her body as she was in Sajdah. They then prayed Janazah (the funeral prayer) for her while her body was in Sajdah and carried her to the graveyard in that state. They then buried her as she was in Sajdah.

The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) has said that we shall all be resurrected on what we died on, she shall be resurrected on the day of judgement in Sajdah to Allah (a'zza wa jall)- because that it how she lived and died.

There are many other stories that we know about of powerful believing mothers, wives and sisters and many, many that Allah only knows about. Whenever a halaqah (Islamic Circle) is going on, the Muslim women outnumber the men. At the American Open University, the overwhelming majority of students are Muslim women.  Go to an Islamic teachers/schools conference, attend a lecture and you shall see the mismatch of sisters to brothers.  Sometimes it is sad to see all these brothers lacking the motivation that many Muslimahs have.  But if there is a beautiful sign in all this, it is that, Allah willing, those sisters are going to raise an army of believing men and women in the coming generation. Allahu akbar (And Allah is the Greatest)!

When Imam Ahmad was still young, his father died.  He would tell his students of the work his mother went through in raising him, and he would pray for her.  In the cold Baghdad nights, she would wake long before him to warm the water so that her son Ahmad could make wudhoo’ (ablution) for Fajr.  Then she would wrap him in blankets, herself cloaked in her Jilbaab, and guide him through the dark, cold alleys to reach the main Masjid, long before Fajr so that her son could get a good seat in class.  Her son Ahmad - at that age in grade 2 or 3 - would sit all day long studying Qur’aan and Sunnah, and she would wait for him to finish so that she could drop him home safely.  At the age of 16, she prepared money and food for him and told him,

"Travel for your search of knowledge."

He left for Makkah and Madinah and many other places and met many great scholars.  She raised Ahmad to become one of the four greatest Imams in Islam.

Dear sister, after all this, ask a non-Muslim what it is that he wants from you?  Does he want you to be liberated?  Liberated from what? From Allah and his Messenger?  From the Qur’aan and the Sunnah?  From Jannah?  From this way of life that Allah chose for you?

And what is he going to give you in return?  Happiness?  By Allah, he does not own happiness in order to give it.  Is he going to give you love and protection from punishment in the grave and from the gate keepers of hellfire and from death?  Why is it that they want to liberate young beautiful women?  Why don't they liberate the seniors?  Why don't they liberate the indigenous?  Why don't they liberate the inmates?  Why is their target audience a young and skinny and tall women (their definition of beauty) between the age of 13 – 28?  And why is their first call for you to take off your Hijaab?

Remember that friend – if you consider him so –without any doubt, by Allah - he shall be your bitterest enemy on the day of Repayment, {Friends on that day will be foes, one to another - except the Righteous} [Surah Zukhruf [43]:67)]

One non-Muslim woman summed up exactly what they think of women,

"It's not who you are, it's what you wear and what you look like!"

And listen to Fabian, a french `model', as she spit on the fashion industry.

"Fashion houses made me into a mannequin, a wooden idol.  The mission: to manipulate hearts and alter minds.  I learnt how to be worthless, nothing on the inside, cold.  We lived in a world of filth, in all that filth means."

When the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) stood on the plain of 'Arafah and gave his farewell speech he said to the Ummah (Muslim Nation), "Treat the women kindly!" History records that in Europe in the same year, at the same time that Islam was saying this, the Christian clergy were arguing whether a women was a human or an animal!  Those clergymen are the ancestors of those non-Muslims that now want to `liberate' you.

There is much more than can be said.  I shall conclude with the advice of Rasoolullah (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) to every Muslim mother, daughter, and wife, "If the women prays her five (Salaah), fasts her month (of Ramadan), protects herself (from committing Zina), and listens to her husband, it will be said to her, 'From any door you wish, enter Paradise!'" Sister, that is where you want to be.

Allah and His Messenger are calling you to life.  Dear Sister, reply!

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The following two narrations from the Sunnah explain how a Muslim’s enthusiasm for the Deen (religion) changes from time to time and also the essential point of not falling short of what is required during the period of inactivity and rest.

It is in these times in particular that an encouragement of other fellow Muslims is particularly beneficial. Ibn Shawdhab, from the third generation of Muslims, said,

"From Allah’s blessings upon a youth when he turns to worship is that he is given a brother who is a follower of the Sunnah encouraging him upon it."

Hanzalah al-Usayyidee (radiyallahu `anhu) said, "Abu Bakr met me and asked, ‘How are you O Hanzalah?’

I replied, ‘Hanzalah is guilty of hypocrisy!’ He said, ‘Free is Allah and far removed from all defects! What are you saying?’

I said, ‘When we are with Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, and he reminds us of the Fire and Paradise it is as if we are seeing it with our own eyes. Then when we depart from Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, to attend to our wives, children and our business, then much of this slips from our minds.’

Abu Bakr said, ‘By Allah we also experience the same.’

So I went with Abu Bakr until we entered upon Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam. I said, ‘When we are with you, you remind us of the Fire and of Paradise and it is as if we are seeing it with our eyes. Then when we depart from you and attend to our wives, children and business then much of this slips from our minds.’

So Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, said, ‘By Him in whose Hand is my soul if you remained continually as you are when you are with me and in remembering (Allah) then the angels would shake hands with you upon your beds and upon your roads. But O Hanzalah, (there is) a time for this and a time for that, (there is) a time for this and a time for that, (there is) a time for this and a time for that.’ [Muslim, no. 6623]

Ibn `Umar (radiyallahu `anhuma) said that Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, said, “For every action there is a period of enthusiasm/activity, and for every period of enthusiasm/activity there is a period of rest/inactivity. So he whose period of rest/inactivity is in accordance with my Sunnah then he is rightly guided, but he whose period of rest accords with other than this, then he is destroyed.” [Ahmad 2/188 and 210.]

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1. We can never count Allaah’s Blessings: Be ever grateful to Allaah for everything that you possess including your wealth, health, status, intellectual abilities and life.

Allaah says: 

“Is, then, He Who creates comparable to any that cannot create? Will you not, then, take heed? For should you try to count Allaah's blessings, you could never compute them…” (An-Nahl 16:17-19).

2. Shaytan’s primary mission is to make human beings ungrateful: From the very beginning of the human being's creation, the issue of gratefulness and thankfulness to Allaah has been debated. After refusing to bow to Adam, Satan said: 

“Then I will certainly come to them from before them and from behind them, and from the right-hand side and from the left-hand side, and You (Allaah) shall not find most of them thankful” (Al-Araf 7:17). 

3. The opposite of Shukr (gratitude) is Kufr (disbelief): In many places in the Quran, Allaah compares the terms Shukr and Kufr. “Then remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and do not reject Me” (Al-Baqarah, [002]:152). 

Imaan (belief) implies Shukr or gratefulness as opposed to Kufr or ungratefulness. A kafir or disbeliever is ungrateful to the Being Who has given him everything, whereas a Believer is one who is ever thankful for all that Allaah has given him.

4. We thank Allaah for our own benefit: If you are ungrateful, Allaah is unaffected. If you become grateful, then you have taken the first step towards becoming a true Believer. It is for this reason that the Prophet exhorted us to “Love Allaah as we benefit from His grace” (Tirmidhi).  

Allaah reminds us: “And whoever is grateful, he is only grateful for the benefit of his own self” (Luqmaan, [031]: 012). “For surely if it was not for the grace of God on you and His mercy, you would have been among the losers (Al-Baqarah 2:64).

5. True worship means sincere thankfulness to Allaah: Allaah explained in the Quran that the only people who truly worship Him are those who give gratitude to Him, so those who are not among the people of gratitude are not among the people of 'Ibaadah (worship and obedience). “... and be grateful to Allaah, if it is Him you worship” (Al-Baqarah, [002]:172).

6. Shukr leads to Allaah’s pleasure: Allaah has told us that His pleasure may be attained through gratitude. “…If you are grateful, He is pleased with you...” (Az-Zumar, [039]: 007).  

The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Allaah is pleased with His servant if, when he eats something, he thanks Allaah for it, and when he drinks something, he thanks Allaah for it” (Muslim).

7. Gratitude is a purpose of our creation: “It is He Who brought you forth from the wombs of your mothers when you knew nothing; and He gave you hearing and sight and intelligence and affection: that you may give thanks (to Allaah)” (An-Nahl, [016]: 78).

8. Shukr is a quality of success in this life and in the Hereafter: Ibn 'Abbaas [r] narrated that the Prophet [p] said: “There are four qualities, whoever is given them has truly been given the best in this world and the next. They are: a grateful heart (that is thankful to Allaah), a remembering tongue (that mentions Allaah often), an enduring body (to persevere through the trials), and a faithful wife.”

9. Being grateful and patient in times of difficulty: Everything that happens to us - even events that we may consider to be personal afflictions or natural disasters-are from Allaah. Therefore, in times of calamity and distress, there will be some good for us, provided we respond appropriately.

The Prophet said: "How wonderful is the case of a Believer! There is good for him in whatever happens to him -and none, apart from him, enjoys this blessing. If he receives some bounty, he is grateful to Allaah and this bounty brings good to him. And if some adversity befalls him, he is patient, and this affliction, too, brings good to him." (Saheeh Muslim)

10. Allaah’s Mercy is for all, but most people will remain ungrateful: He shows and gives mercy to all, even those who continue to be ungrateful and rebellious towards Him: “Indeed God is the possessor of bounty for all people but most people do not give thanks.” (Al-Baqarah, [002]: 243).

11. Most people subconsciously thank God: Reflect upon your own life and you will find innumerable occasions when Allaah's `hand' has been holding you and helping you. So often, believers and even atheists subconsciously use the expression ‘Thank God’, without realising the full implications of our words.

12. Shukr leads to abundance in Allaah’s favors: If you appreciate Allaah’s favors, He has promised increased Rahmah or Mercy for you. Allaah’s reward for your gratitude is unlimited and unconditional. “If you are grateful, I will surely give you more and more.” (Ibraaheem, [014]: 007)

13. Three ways to express Shukr: The classical Muslim scholars have indicated Shukr can be shown in three ways:  

- Shukr of the heart (Qalb), which is achieved by harboring and intending good for all of Allaah's creation.  

- Shukr of the tongue (Lisaan), which involves celebrating the praises of Allaah, such as utterance of “Alhamdulillah”, and expressing gratefulness to Allaah with our tongue.  
- Shukr of the limbs (Jawaarih), which is fulfilled by using our external senses to do good. Every time Allaah gives us a blessing, we must use it in a way that benefits humanity and that pleases Allaah. 

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"The more people increase in comfort and luxury and the more they open up before the people [with the Dunya], the more evils will open up before them. It is comfort and luxury that destroys a person. Because if a person was to concern himself with comfort and luxury and providing enjoyment to his body, he will become negligent of providing enjoyment to his heart, and his greatest worry will become providing enjoyment to this body that is doomed to become worms and rotten.

This is the ordeal, and this is what has harmed people today. You can hardly find anyone except that they say: "What is our palace? What is our car? What is our furniture? What is our food?" Even those who study [Islamic] knowledge, some of them only study in order to gain rank or status to reach the blessings of the Dunya. As if man was not created for a significant purpose. The Dunya and its blessings are only a means, nothing more. We ask Allah to make us and you use it as a means.

Ibn Taimiyyah, may Allah have mercy upon him, said: "A person should use money as he uses a donkey to ride, and as he uses the toilet to relieve himself."

These are the ones who know money and its value. So do not make money your greatest worry, rather ride on money, for if you do not ride on it, it will ride on you, and your worry will become the Dunya.

For this, we say, that the more the Dunya opens up before the people, and they end up concerning themselves with it, they will lose as much of the Akhira as they have gained from the Dunya. The Prophet
Salla Allahou Alayhi wa salam
said: "By Allah, I am not afraid of your poverty," meaning I am not afraid of poverty for you, for the Dunya will open up before you, "but I am afraid that you will lead a life of luxury as past nations did, whereupon you will compete with each other for it, as they competed for it, and it will destroy you as it destroyed them." [Bukhari & Muslim].

The Messenger Salla Allahou Alayhi wa salam spoke the truth. This is what has destroyed the people today. What has destroyed the people today, is their competing with one another for the Dunya, and them being as if they were only created for it, and not it created for them. So they have preoccupied themselves with what was created for them over what they were created for. This is backwardness. We ask Allah for protection."

Source: Explanation of Riyadh-us-Saliheen [Chapter 10: Hastening to do Good Deeds, Hadeeth #92].

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Sitting in the Geography class in school, I remember how fascinated I was when we were being taught all about the Dead Sea. As you probably recall, the Dead Sea is really a Lake, not a sea (and as my Geography teacher pointed out, if you understood that, it would guarantee 4 marks in the term paper!) It’s so high in salt content that the human body can float easily. You can almost lie down and read a book! The salt in the Dead Sea is as high as 35% - almost 10 times the normal ocean water. And all that saltiness has meant that there is no life at all in the Dead Sea. No fish. No vegetation. No sea animals. Nothing lives in the Dead Sea.

And hence the name: Dead Sea.

While the Dead Sea has remained etched in my memory, I don't seem to recall learning about the Sea of Galilee in my school Geography lesson. So when I heard about the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea and the tale of the two seas - I was intrigued.

Turns out that the Sea of Galilee is just north of the Dead Sea. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea receive their water from river Jordan. And yet, they are very, very different.

Unlike the Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee is pretty, resplendent with rich, colorful marine life. There are lots of plants. And lots of fish too. In fact, the Sea of Galilee is home to over twenty different types of fishes.

Same region, same source of water, and yet while one sea is full of life, the other is dead. How come?

Here’s apparently why. The River Jordan flows into the Sea of Galilee and then flows out. The water simply passes through the Sea of Galilee in and then out - and that keeps the sea healthy and vibrant, teeming with marine life.

But the Dead Sea is so far below the mean sea level, that it has no outlet. The water flows in from the river Jordan, but does not flow out. There are no outlet streams. It is estimated that over 7 million tons of water evaporate from the Dead Sea every day. Leaving it salty. Too full of minerals. And unfit for any marine life.

The Dead Sea takes water from the River Jordan, and holds it. It does not give.

Result? No life at all.

Think about it.

Life is not just about getting. Its about giving. We all need to be a bit like the Sea of Galilee.

We are fortunate to get wealth, knowledge, love and respect. But if we don't learn to give, we could all end up like the Dead Sea. The love and the respect, the wealth and the knowledge could all evaporate. Like the water in the Dead Sea.

If we get the Dead Sea mentality of merely taking in more water, more money, more everything the results can be disastrous.

Good idea to make sure that in the sea of your own life, you have outlets. Many outlets. For love and wealth - and everything else that you get in your life. Make sure you don't just get, you give too.

Open the taps. And you'll open the floodgates to happiness. Make that a habit. To share. To give.

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The generous man did not want to be identified because his Muslim faith teaches that acts of charity are to be done anonymously

A bus driver in Canada had a 'soul-touching' moment on Saturday when he watched as one selfless passenger gave his shoes and socks to a perfect stranger whose only footwear was a couple of plastic hairnets.

Bus driver Surjit Singh Virk - a 16-year veteran driver for the Coast Mountain Bus Co. in Vancouver - was off duty and returning from the Surrey B.C.’s Vaisakhi parade when he witnessed the random act of kindness.

Singh Virk managed to snap a few photos of the exchange and shared them on social media.

'It made my heart melt,' he told QMI Agency, a Canadian media company. 'He just took his shoes and socks off and said,

"You can take these, don't worry about me — I live close by and can walk."

'People usually don't care or even look at other people on the bus, they didn't even want to sit beside this guy because of how he was dressed.'

The kind-hearted man who selflessly handed over his shoes to his less-fortunate fellow passenger was reached by phone, but asked the news outlet to not identify him by name because his Islamic faith requires that charitable acts be done anonymously.

According to QMI, the man also was reluctant about allowing the use of his photo, but ultimately agreed.

'I felt bad for the guy,' the generous 27-year-old Surrey resident said. 'He was wearing plastic hairnets on his feet. I was only about a two-minute walk from home, so I thought I could give him my shoes.'

The anonymous Good Samaritan was coming from a nearby mosque when he noticed the man in need. 

Mufti Aasim Rashid, the spokesman for the B.C. Muslim Association - which runs the mosque where the man had been - told QMI that the selfless act would qualify as a general act of charity - a 'Sadaqa.'

'Whenever we do a good deed, even if it's to help someone out, the Islamic teachings maintain this should remain only for the pleasure of God,' Rashid said. 'It's nice to see people practicing the teachings ... it looks like he's really benefited.'

Singh Virk says he spoke with the recipient of the shoes after the Good Samaritan had gotten off the bus. He says the man was 'shocked.'

'What a nice guy... Did that really happen?”

Singh Virk quoted the man as saying.

The touching scene was reminiscent of NYPD Officer Larry DePrimo, who was famously photographed in November of 2012 as he bought a shoeless homeless man a pair of boots and heavy socks on a frigid day in New York City, and even helped him put them on. 

About a year later, DePrimo was promoted to detective. At the time, some of his new colleagues on the detective squad got him a special nameplate for his new desk: 'Larry (Boots) DePrimo.'

Source: Daily Mail.

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Some of the land around the Masjid of the Prophet (salaAllaahualihiWasSalam) in Madinah was owned by 'Uthman bin 'Affaan (radiyaAllaahu anhu). Even to this day, any building that takes form on that land is through his generous endowment to Madinah more than 1400 years ago.

The Story Behind Hotel 'Uthman ibn 'Affaan

When the early Muslims migrated to Madinah with the Prophet (SAW), they found the water there difficult to drink as they were accustomed to drinking the relatively sweeter Zamzam water in Makkah. So they went to the Prophet and told him about their difficulty, and informed him of a well in the city by the name of Rumah whose water tasted a lot like Zamzam.The problem, however, was that the owner of the well insisted on charging, even for a handful of water.

The Prophet had sent an offer for the well, a garden in paradise in exchange, however, the owner refused and said he would only accept money. When 'Uthman ibn 'Affaan came to learn of the incident, of the Prophet's declaration of something better than the well in Paradise for whoever can secure it for the community, he went to the owner and placed an offer to buy the well. The owner declined, at which point 'Uthman asked him to sell him half of it or rent the well: a day for Muslims and a day for him to sell to whoever he wishes. He agreed. Subsequently, this resulted in everyone going to drink from the well on 'Uthman's day, leaving the owner with no customers!

The owner felt at a loss and quickly rushed to 'Uthman, "you have spoilt my well, now buy it off me". 'Uthman agreed and it was sold for 20 thousand dirhams, which he then assigned as endowment in Allaah's name (waqf lillah) for all Muslims to drink from. Later on, one of the Companions came to 'Uthman and offered to buy the well for double its price. 'Uthman asked him to raise his offer. He proposed triple the price. 'Uthman, again, asked him to raise the price until the buyer agreed to pay nine times the original price. With 'Uthman still not consenting, the Companion, bemused, asked him, "who will offer you more than me?". 'Uthman responded,

"Allaah. He gave me ten times the one good deed".

After 'Uthman had left the well behind for Muslims as an endowment, date-palms started to grow around it. More recently, the Ottoman Empire attended to those palms and looked after them. When Madinah came into the hands of the Saudi government, it further attended to the date-palms and cultivated more of them until they reached around 1550 in number.The Government, through the Ministry of Agriculture, would sell the dates in markets and divide the proceeds into two: one half was distributed amongst orphans and the poor, the other half went in a special bank account in 'Uthman ibn 'Affaan's name which they Ministry of Endowments oversee. This carried on until the account had accumulated enough money to buy land in the central area next to the Prophet's mosque and, through the bank account, construction of a grand hotel has began!

The building is in its final stages and is to be leased out to one of the major 5 star hotel companies. It is speculated to generate revenue in the region of 50 million riyals per annum, half of which will be distributed to orphans and the poor and the other half will be gathered in the bank account under 'Uthman ibn 'Affaan's name. The land is also officially registered in the local municipality under the name of 'Uthman ibn 'Affaan.

As they say, business with Allaah is always profitable. May Allaah be pleased with him.

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Streaks of sunlight streamed in through the red velvet curtains. Lost in her thoughts, Sameera was busy scribbling away in a diary.

"The lonely rose,
Jolted in misery and gloom,
Darkness all around,
My fate is never to bloom..."

She loosely constructed some verses of poetry to empty out the cries of her aching heart. She could no longer bear it. "Why are my prayers not answered? Why am I destined to never achieve what I desire? Why?" There were so many unanswered questions circling inside her mind. She had racked her brain on the monthly budget this time to manage saving for a few extra things she wanted. Three new sweaters and a pair of sandals for Bilal, a new dress and handbag for herself, a cutlery set and a few other accessories; the list of things she had made will have to be postponed for yet another month. Bilal, her two year old son was down with fever and all her savings ended up with some clerk in the medical stores.

Sameera could picture her sister in law, Raheela, boasting about her tableware. She could imagine her friends swaggering about the attire of their children. "Oh! I choose the best for my chipmunks! Sadaf so wanted this frock and I didn't have the heart to refuse." She recalled one her friend's remarks. Anger, frustration and self-pity stewed inside her heart. The poor soul thought about how she would feel out of water among all the other fishes as they discussed their shopping sprees. Sameera would just have her lips tightly closed. She had nothing to tell. At times, the others would quip about the number of times they had seen their comrade in the same clothes, carrying the same handbag and wearing the same shoes. Their memories were sharp enough to remember what she wore months back in the wedding of a distant cousin.

"Why??" she mumbled aloud. "Life is terrible!" Sleeping on the bed beside, her husband could now hear the sound of muffled cries. He knew his wife too well to wonder what must have gone wrong. He, with the caring nature he had, tried his utmost to provide the best for his family. However, the winds were bitter and despite all his efforts the needs in such a society never end.

A tiny finger tugged at the end of her shirt. "Kids will never let you sit in peace", Sameera sighed and turned to the darling face. It was Bilal wanting to cuddle in the heavenly spot that heals and comforts; his mother's lap. Overcoming her previous feelings she started ruffling his curls and rummaged for the thermometer. Alhumdulillah, after copious wakeful nights, Bilal was now recovering.

"I am going to meet an old friend of mine, Sameera. It has been a long time since I met him. Do you want to come along?" Asim asked as he was getting ready to leave the following day.

"I don't want to ruin another evening with a snooty woman boasting around me. I'll just stay home I guess."

"She won't be that way I hope. I've heard her to be very simple." He assured.

After a quiet twenty minute drive, the three of them arrived at the gate of a fairly old but well-kept house. Brother Ismael welcomed them inside. His two sons whom she assumed were identical twins jumped up and down in excitement, they wanted to shake hands with a sleepy Bilal. Sameera was lead inside as the men settled themselves in the guestroom. All the while the woman in her was doing the same job she detested. Those eagle eyes scanned everything in the house from top to bottom; the furniture and their polish, the curtains and their rods, the carpet and upholsters. Nothing was as grand, as new or as perfect. However, the house-keeper deserved an extra mark for neatness. A plump little lady greeted her as she entered the lounge. She was holding a baby in the other hand. "Whoa!" Sameera exclaimed instinctively. The sofa had sunk as she tried to sit down. "Oh I'm sorry! You may take this chair over here; the kids have broken the sofa springs!" Asiya smiled and offered an arm chair. Sameera noticed that the baby did not appear normal. He was a mentally disabled child.

The table had been set for tea beforehand. Spicy egg sandwiches, biscuits and a delicious looking cake were waiting to be tried over. The host poured out tea as the two of them introduced. A vigorous tête-à-tête followed; it was all about children, food, family and the town. All the while the woman was patiently tending to the child, as well as her two naughty twins who kept interrupting from time to time for a biscuit, or to tell that daddy needed something.

"How old is your daughter Asiya?" Sameera asked inquisitively.

"Five years." She replied with a smile. That warm smile looked as if it was fastened to her face.

"Hmm...I feel so sorry for you Asiya. I see you are having a real tough time." said Sameera.

"Sorry? There's nothing to be sorry for. Ahumdulillah! I am so blessed. I have food in my fridge that can last for more than a week, I've a ceiling over me to safeguard and I have a loving family. There's everything I can ask for. And this dear little daughter over here, she is the greatest blessing of all. She reminds me of Allah! What if in her absence I never turned to Him, never prayed to Him and just cascaded away in the luxuries of this world?

...Sameera listened quietly as she reflected on her own state. The forlorn heart that lied inside her was in such dire need of this reminder. "Yes", she thought to herself, "the sweaters can wait; the older ones are still as good as new. The new cutlery set I wanted was just a luxury. The dress Mama gave me last month will suffice for the upcoming wedding..." she was reviewing her list. This was not a list of needs; it was a list of wants. She reminded herself of all the bounties she had been blessed with, they were immeasurable! Contentment and bliss engulfed her heart.

"Alhumdulillah, indeed you are right." She replied with a nod.

Sameera blinked away a tear that had crept up silently... Do I really not have enough?... Or was I being ungrateful?

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Brothers (AlFatihaGlobal) from Luton were taking this ambulance to Syria for refugees. On the way to Syria the ambulance broke down in Greece and wouldn't move. One of the brother made a Dua: "Oh Allah send your angels to help us", after making the Dua,the following happened...

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ثُمَّ لَآتِيَنَّهُم مِّن بَيْنِ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِمْ وَعَنْ أَيْمَانِهِمْ وَعَن شَمَائِلِهِمْ ۖ وَلَا تَجِدُ أَكْثَرَهُمْ شَاكِرِينَ

{Then I will come to them from before them and from behind them and on their right and on their left, and You will not find most of them grateful [to You].}

(Al-A'raaf [7], Verse 17.)

*Please click here if you can't see the above video.

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Hasad (jealousy and envy) is among the most destructive emotions or feeling which a man may have towards his fellow human being. It causes him to wish evil for others and to be happy when misfortune befalls them. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) warned against envy by comparing it to fire that completely burns the wood. He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood." [Abu Dawood]

Hasad is a disease of the heart and it causes impurity to the heart, when Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) was asked who are the best of people? He (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) replied: "The one with a clean heart and truthful tongue." They asked: 'We understand a truthful tongue, but what does a clean heart mean?' He answered: 'It is the heart of one that is pious, pure, and is free of sin, transgressions, hatred and Hasad." [Ibn Majah]

Hasad is such a dangerous characteristic that Allah revealed verses of the Qur'aan to be recited as a protection from the jealous, "Say: I seek refuge in the Lord of the dawn from the evil of envious when he envies." [Soorah al-Falaq (113): 1]

At-Tirmidhee narrated from Al-Zubayr Ibn al-'Awwam that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "There has come to you the disease of the nations before you, jealousy and hatred. This is the 'shaver' (destroyer); I do not say that it shaves hair, but that it shaves (destroys) faith." [(Hasan) Jamee at-Tirmidhee (2434)]

Hasad can cause the person to indulge in disbelief because it causes the individual to feel that Allah has not been fair with him; he forgets all the mercy and blessings which Allah has bestowed upon him. The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "They are enemies for Allah's bounties." They asked: "Who are they?" He said: "Those who envy people for what Allah has given them of Bounty." [At-Tabaranee]

Allah through His Absolute Wisdom has given some people more wealth, intelligence, beauty, strength, children, etc. than others. The believing Muslim should be content with what Allah has destined for him.

Allah says: "Allah favored some of you over others with wealth and properties. Do they deny the favors of Allah?" [Soorah an-Nahl (16): 71]

And: "Do they envy men for what Allah has given them of His Bounty?" [Soorah an-Nisa (4): 54]

"It is We Who portion out between them their livelihood in this world, and We raised some of them above others in ranks, so that some may employ others in their work. But the mercy of your Lord is better." [Soorah az-Zukhruf (43): 32] This means that the mercy of Allah is better than the convenience of the world. The materials of this life do not make one superior to another in Allah's Judgment. True superiority lies in Taqwa (righteousness, fear of Allah). He said: "Surely, the most noble of you to Allah is the most God-fearing." [Soorah al-Hujurat (49): 13] "And the Hereafter with Your Lord is (only) for those who have Taqwa." [Soorah az-Zukhruf (43): 35]

Dear Sisters, what belongs to the transient world is of no significance before Allah. The Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "If this world were worth a mosquito's wing before Allah, He would not give a disbeliever a drink of water." [At-Tirmidhee]

The favors of Allah in the world are a test; the more the favors, the more the tests. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: "Umar Ibn Khattab wrote this letter to Abu Musa al-Ash'ari,

'Be content with your provision in this world, for the Most Merciful has honored some of His servants over others in terms of provision as a test of both. The one who has been given plenty is being tested to see if he will give thanks to Allah and fulfill the duties which are his by virtue of his wealth." [Ibn Hatim]

Allah, the Exalted, has therefore forbidden us from desiring what others have, "Do not wish for what we have favored some of you over others." [Soorah an-Nisa (4): 32]

In order to discourage envy, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Do not look to those above you. Look to those below you, as it will more likely remind you of Allah's favors bestowed on you." [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim] On another occasion, he said: "If one of you looks at someone wealthier and better built than him, he should also look at someone of lower standard than himself." [Saheeh Muslim]

Islaam permits Ghibtah

What Islaam permits in contrast to Hasad (destructive jealousy) is Ghibtah (envy that is free from malice), which means neither loving the loss of the blessing nor hating for it to remain with the person, but desiring the same for oneself without the removal of the blessing from others.

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Envy is allowed in two cases, in case of a man whom Allah has given the Qur'aan and who recites it throughout night and day; and a man on whom Allah has bestowed wealth who gives it away throughout night and day." [Saheeh al-Bukharee and Saheeh Muslim]

He  (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) also explained what may be said: "I wish I were given what he was given and did with it what he did."

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "The similitude of the people of this Ummah is like four individuals. One whom Allah has given wealth and knowledge, so he handles his wealth with the knowledge. One whom Allah has given knowledge but not wealth and he says, 'Lord, should I have wealth like so-and-so I would have handled it like him.' So they both have the same reward. Such a person loves to have wealth like others so he can do good like others without wishing that the others lose their wealth. Another man, Allah has given him wealth but no knowledge and he spends his wealth in disobedience to Allah. And last, a man whom Allah has not given knowledge nor wealth but he says, 'Should I have wealth like so-and-so, I would spend it in the way he does.' So, both will have the same sin against them." [at-Tirmidhee and Ibn Majah]

Some Reasons that cause a person to have Jealosy

Anger and Malice: When one is hurt by someone for any reason, he is angered, and his anger produces malice and urge for revenge in the heart. The slave begins to desire harm for the other person, he enjoys when he sees him in hardships and he may further thinks that Allah has done it to him as an evil reward!

And if the person is blessed with a gift, he grieves and this is Hasad, which does not harm the envied person but it hurts and destroys the Hasid (one who has Hasad) himself.

In order to close the door to this evil Islaam advises the Muslims to be forgiving in nature and control one's anger. Allah says in the Qur'aan: "Those who spend (in Allah's Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men. Verily, Allah loves the good doers." [Soorah al-Imran (3): 134]

Arrogance, Pride and Love for fame: When a person achieves a high status and position in the society or gains wealth, he hates to see someone other than him compete or go ahead of him or be praised over him. So, he envies the former person.

An example of this can be taken of the Jews and their Hasad towards Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) for the Prophethood that Allah entrusted him with. Their envy made them reject the divine message given to him, because he was an Arab and not from the Children of Israel. It was their Hasad which caused them to make statements as such, "It is these that Allah as favored among us?" [Soorah al-Anam (6): 53] "And they say: 'Why is not this Qur'aan sent down to some great man of the two towns?" [Soorah az-Zukhruf (43): 31] and in Soorah al-Muminoon (23): 34, "If you were to obey a human being life yourselves, then verily, you indeed would be losers."

This also shows one of the grave dangers of Hasad that Hasad hinders the person from following the truth and accepting advice from others just as the Hasad of the disbelievers prevented them from accepting Islam.

Evil Nature of the person: Some people, even though they may not be harmed or threatened by other people's success, grieve when they hear about some good happening to others, and enjoy in their adversities. Neither do they seek progress for themselves nor do they wish others to progress!! Such kind of defect is difficult to cure because the reason behind their evil attitude is the evil nature of the person which does not allow him to accept other people's success.

Repentance and Getting Rid of Jealousy

Firstly, the believer should have sincerity in repenting from Hasad as Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Three things that every heart of a believer should not hate to have is sincerity in actions, rendering advise to leaders and holding to Jama'ah (community) of the Muslims, for their supplication surrounds everyone with them." [Ahmad and Ibn Majah]

Second requirement to get rid of Hasad is to get rid of all those means which cause one to have Hasad like anger, hatred, love for the world and discontentment.

Discontentment comes from the slave's ignorance of his Lord. If he recognizes his Lord with the attributes of Perfection, All-Knowledgeable and All-Just to his slaves, he would not be discontent and as a result would not develop Hasad.

Imam Ibn Qayyim (rahimahullah) said:

"It (contentment) opens the door of peace and security for the slave."

It makes his heart pure from hatred, evil and malice. The more content the person is, the purer his heart is. However, this does not mean that the slave should not make efforts to improve his situation. A slave should work to gain success and progress but he should not envy those whom Allah has granted more wealth or possession but he should be content with the decisions of Allah.

Thirdly, the slave should turn towards the Qur'aan which is a healing for the diseases of the heart. Allah says: "O mankind! There has come to you a good advice from your Rabb and a healing for that in your chests." [Soorah Yunus (10): 57]

Supplicate to Allah to purify your heart. Allah said in the Qur'aan: "And those who came after them say: 'Our Lord! Forgive us and our brethren who have preceded us in Faith and put not in our hearts any hatred against those who have believed. Our Lord! You are indeed full of kindness, Most Merciful." [Soorah al-Hashr (59): 10]

Give Sadaqah (charity) for it purifies the heart and sanctifies the soul. It is for this reason Allah said to His Prophet: "Take Sadaqah from their wealth in order to purify them and sanctify them with it." [Soorah at-Tawbah (9): 103]

If thoughts of Hasad cross one's mind, he should seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytan and busy himself with something that will dispel these insinuating whispers and thoughts.

But if the Shaytan manages to instill Hasad in the hearts, then beware lest you say or do anything which will show Hasad. A person will not be brought to account for whatever crosses his mind, but he will be brought to account for what he says and does.

Shaikh al-Islaam Ibn Taymiyah said:

"Nobody is free from Hasad, but the noble person hides it whilst the base person shows it." [Amraad al-Quloob]

If you feel that you are jealous of a specific person, then buy him a gift, shake hands with him and give him salaams for Hasad is the result of hatred and the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "Shake hands, for this will dispel rancour, and exchange gifts and love one another, for this will dispel hatred." [Narrated by Maalik in al-Muwatta (1413)]

Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu) narrated that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "By Allah, in Whose Hand is my soul, you will never enter Paradise until you believe. And you will not believe unless you love one another. May I tell you something that if you do, you may love one another? Spread Salaam amongst yourselves." Ibn Abdul-Barr said:

"This proves that Salaam can lift hatred and produce love." [Saheeh Muslim]

"A Man from the People of Paradise will enter now..."

Anas Ibn Malik (radhi allahu anhu) reported that he and other companions were sitting with the Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) who said: "A man from the people of Paradise will enter now." And a man from Al-Ansar entered, with his beard dripping with water from Wudhu (ablution), and holding his sandals in his left hand.

The following day, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said the same thing and the same man entered.

On the third day, the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) again repeated his statement and the same man entered with water dripping and holding his sandals.

When the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) left, Abdullah Ibn Amr Ibn al-As (radhi allahu anhu) followed the man and said: 'I quarreled with my father and I swore I would not go to him for three days and night. Would you shelter me for these days?' the man replied: 'Yes.'

Anas said: 'Abdullah said that he stayed with this man for three nights and he did not see him praying at night, but every time he moved and changed position in bed he would remember Allah saying, 'Allahu Akbar' until Salat-ul-Fajr."

Abdullah said: 'I didn't hear anything from him but good. When the three nights had passed, I said: 'O slave of Allah! I really didn't abandon my father nor was I angry with him. But, I heard the Messenger of Allah speaking of you on three separate occasions, the Prophet [p] had said that a man from the people of Paradise would enter, and you were the one to enter on all the three times. So, I wanted to stay with you to see what you do so that I could follow you. But I have not seen you doing much. So what is that you do for Allah's Messenger (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) to say what he had said?'

The man replied: 'It is nothing more than what you saw.' When it was time to leave, he called me back and said:

'Yes, it is nothing more than what you saw, except that I have no place in myself for ill-intentions or Hasad towards any Muslim and what Allah has given them.'

Abdullah said: 'This is what has made you deserving of the praise and this is what we cannot do." [Musnad Ahmad]

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Know dear sister, that all of Allaah's creation is good, but Allaah may test a slave with sickness or a defect or ugliness and the like due to a wisdom He is aware of, and a benefit He wished for you to attain.

Beauty and ugliness are like sickness and health, wealth and poverty, and success and failure; Allaah has distributed all provisions between His slaves through His vast wisdom, perfect mercy and abundant favour upon His slaves. Granting of any of those things or others is not an indication of Allaah's love for the one to whom He granted or provided those things. Nor is withholding any of them a sign of His displeasure towards the one being deprived. Allaah says (what means):

 فَأَمَّا الإنْسَانُ إِذَا مَا ابْتَلاهُ رَبُّهُ فَأَكْرَمَهُ وَنَعَّمَهُ فَيَقُولُ رَبِّي أَكْرَمَنِي * وَأَمَّا إِذَا مَا ابْتَلاهُ فَقَدَرَ عَلَيْهِ رِزْقَهُ فَيَقُولُ رَبِّي أَهَانَنِي * كَلا بَل لا تُكْرِمُونَ الْيَتِيمَ * وَلا تَحَاضُّونَ عَلَى طَعَامِ الْمِسْكِينِ * وَتَأْكُلُونَ التُّرَاثَ أَكْلا لَمًّا * وَتُحِبُّونَ الْمَالَ حُبًّا جَمًّا 

"15. And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says,

"My Lord has honored me."
16. But when He tries him and restricts his provision, he says, "My Lord has humiliated me."
17. No! But you do not honor the orphan
18. And you do not encourage one another to feed the poor.
19. And you consume inheritance, devouring [it] altogether,
20. And you love wealth with immense love." (al-Fajr 15-20)

Sh. As-S'adi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

"Allaah the Exalted informs of the nature of man as he is, that he is ignorant and unjust, and does not know the outcomes of things. He thinks that whatever condition he is in will continue and never cease and he thinks that Allaah's honouring him and favouring him in this world is an indication of his honour and and closeness to Him. And when "He tries him and restricts his provision" such that he has only his needs with nothing extra, then this is an insult from Allaah. So Allaah responds to him his estimation by saying (what means) "No!" i.e. Not everyone I have bestowed favours upon in the world is honoured by Me, and not everyone whom I have restricted provisions for is lowly before Me. Rather, wealth and poverty and abundance and restrictedness are tests from Allaah and trials which He puts His slaves through, to see who is grateful to him and who is patient so that He may reward them a great reward for it as compared to those who do not, so they are given a painful punishment. As well: A slaves aspirations may not go beyond himself, due to weakness in zeal, so Allaah rebukes them for not being concerned about the affairs of the needy creation..." (End quote from Tafsir as-S'adi (924))

If people were to follow such an example in their speech of ingratitude, thought and displeasure over the will of their Lord and His destiny for them  there would only be complainers and disgruntled people on earth.

The ill would say: "Why have you made me ill and saved the people?" The poor would say: "Why have you made me poor and made others wealthy?" Those being tried would say: "Why are you trying me and left others in a good state?"

The believer is to be pleased, observe patience and anticipate reward while others become annoyed with and complain about their Lord.

Do you not realize that you have two eyes with which you can see while millions cannot even see?! Do you not see that you are able to walk on your own two feet, you go and come wherever you wish while an infinite number of people are paralyzed and disabled?! Let's say you lost all that; do you not realize Allaah's favour of Islaam upon you, and that He chose you for this great favour (which all the pleasures of the earth cannot equal) over most of the creation who do not believe in Allaah. On the Day of Resurrection, Allaah the Exalted will say (what means):

يَقُولُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى : يَا آدَمُ ! فَيَقُولُ لَبَّيْكَ وَسَعْدَيْكَ وَالْخَيْرُ فِي يَدَيْكَ . فَيَقُولُ : أَخْرِجْ بَعْثَ النَّارِ 

قَالَ : وَمَا بَعْثُ النَّارِ ؟ قَالَ : مِنْ كُلِّ أَلْفٍ تِسْعَ مِائَةٍ وَتِسْعَةً وَتِسْعِينَ

"'Oh Adam!' And he will respond, 'Here I am and blessed by You, and all good is in Your hands.' Then He will say: 'Remove the delegation of the fire!' He will say: 'And what is the delegation of the fire?' He will say: 'From every thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine'." (Al-Bukhaari (3099) and Muslim (327))

O Maidservant of Allaah! Ponder over the following story: 

Al-Awza'i narrates from 'Abdullah ibn Muhammad that he said:

I went out to the shore as a patrolman and our patrol at the time was in 'Areesh Misr. When I arrived at the shore, I came upon an open area and there was tent on it. In the tent was a man who had no hands and legs and he was hard of hearing and sight. None of his limbs were of benefit to him but his tongue, and was saying:

اللَّهُمَّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَن أحمدك حمدا أكافىء بِهِ شُكْرَ نِعْمَتِكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ بِهَا عَلَيَّ وَفَضَّلْتَنِي على كَثِيرٍ مِمَّنْ خَلَقْتَ تَفْضِيلا 

"O Allaah, grant me (the ability) to praise you a praise through which I can sufficiently thank You for the favours You have bestowed upon me and by which You have preferred me over many whom You have created a great preference."

Al-Awzaa'I said: 'Abdullah said: By Allaah, I will certainly go to this man and I shall certainly ask him about this speech. Whether it was an understanding, or knowledge or inspiration which was inspired to him?

So I approached the man and greeted him and said to him: I heard you and you were saying: "O Allaah, grant me (the ability) to praise you a praise through which I can sufficiently thank You for the favours You have bestowed upon me and by which You have preferred me over many whom You have created a great preference", so what favour from the favours of Allaah upon you are you praising Him for? And in what way did He prefer you over others a great preference that you need to thank Him for it?

He said: "Don't you see what my Lord has done? By Allaah, if He sent the sky to me as a fire which burned me, or ordered the mountains to crush me, or the oceans to drown me, or the earth to swallow me up; it would only cause me to be more grateful to my Lord for the favour of this tongue He bestowed upon me...

However, O slave of Allaah: As long as you have come to me, I have a need of you! Perhaps you see me and the state I am in, I cannot harm nor benefit myself. I had a young son who used to come to me at the time of prayer and help me do my ablution, and when I became hungry he'd feed me, and I became thirsty he'd provide me with a drink but I have missed him for the last three days, so please look for him on my behalf may Allaah have mercy on you."

I said: "By Allaah, no creature could fulfill the need of another which is greater in reward with Allaah than a need similar to yours." So I set out looking for the young boy, and I hadn't gone far before I came by a sand hill, and behold I found the boy who had been preyed upon by a beast which ate his flesh! I did Istirjaa' (saying Indeed we belong to Allaah and to Him is our return) and said: "How am I going to be able to face this man with a gentle face?!"

As I was heading towards him, the Dhikr (words of remembrance) of Ayyub the Prophet (may Allaah's peace and blessings be upon him) came to my heart. So when I reached him I greeted him and he responded and said: "Are you not my companion?" I said, "Yes!" He said: "What did you do about my need?" I said: "Are you more honourable in the site of Allaah or was Ayyub the Prophet?" He said, "Of course Ayyub the Prophet". I said: "Do you know what His Lord did with him? Did He not test him in his wealth, family and children?" He said, "Yes." I said: "How did He find him?" He said: "He found him patient, grateful and praising". I said: "He was not pleased with that for him until his relatives and loved ones deserted him?" He said, "Yes". I said: "How did His Lord find him?" He said: "He found him patient, grateful and praising; make it short may Allaah have mercy on you" I said to him: "The young boy you sent me in search of, I found him in a sand hill having been preyed upon by a beast which had eaten his flesh. May Allaah increase for you tour reward and may He inspire you with patience."

The tested man said:

 الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي لَمْ يَخْلُقْ مِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي خَلْقًا يَعْصِيهِ فَيُعَذِّبَهُ بِالنَّارِ

"Praise be to Allaah Who did not create from my progeny creations who would disobey Him and He would then punish them by the fire.

He then did istirjaa' and breathed a sigh and died."

I said: "Indeed to Allaah we belong and to Him is our return. What a huge calamity before me; a man like this, if I were to leave him the beasts would eat him, and if I stay I won't be able to harm nor benefit. So I covered him in a cloak which was over him and sat at his head crying."

As I was sitting, four men came upon me and said: "O slave of Allaah, what is your situation and what is your story?" So I told them my story and his. They said to me: "Uncover his face for us, perhaps we know him." I uncovered his face and the men fell upon him kissing his eyes and his hands alternately and saying: "May our father be sacrificed; for how long these eyes were lowered from the prohibitions of Allaah. May our father be sacrificed; for how long this body prostrated before Allaah while the people were sleeping."

I said: "Who is this, may Allaah have mercy on you?" They said,"This is Abu Qilabah al-Jurmi, the companion of Ibn 'Abbas (r). He had tremendous love for Allaah and the Prophet of Allaah (may Allaah's peace and blessings be upon him)!!"

So we washed him and shrouded him with clothing we had with us and prayed over him and buried him. The men left and I went back to my station. When night fell, I put my head down and saw him in a dream, in a garden from the gardens of Paradise wearing two garments from the garments of Paradise while reciting the revelation (which means):

 سَلامٌ عَلَيْكُمْ بِمَا صَبَرْتُمْ فَنِعْمَ عُقْبَى الدَّارِ 

"Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home." (13:24).

I said: "Aren't you my companion?" He said, "Yes". I said: "How did you receive this?!" He said: "Verily, with Allaah are levels that cannot be attained except with patience at times of trial and gratitude at times of prosperity along with fear of Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic, in private and in public". - End quote from "Ath-Thiqaat" by Ibn Hibbaan (5:3-5)

Lessons to be learnt

Have you seen the state of this slave, O Maidservant of Allaah?

Did you see his praise of and pleasure with his Lord?

Did you see how the blessing of faith from Allaah was greater to him than all he lost?

Do you see that there are many things for which you and others can still praise and thank Allaah for?

They are innumerable, let alone being able to properly thank Allaah for them. So, O Maidservant of Allaah, don't deprive yourself of those lofty positions by being upset with the will of Allaah or by thinking evil of Him, or allowing your tongue to tire of remembering Allaah and praising Him and thanking Him, and instead turning to blaming Him and having a bad opinion of Him.

If you don't have a share of beauty, then what did the non-Muslim woman who was deprived of Islaam do with her beauty while your Lord granted it (Islaam) to you? Where will she be tomorrow if she died upon disbelief? Will her beauty be of benefit to her on the Day when neither wealth nor children will be of benefit, except those who come to Allaah with pure hearts?

Would you really be pleased with the alternative? That you be beautiful but non-Muslim and that she be ugly but Muslim?

There are many such questions you need to ask yourself and answer in light of this reality in which you are displeased with your Lord.

Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic, says (what means):

 وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَى مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِ أَزْوَاجًا مِنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌ وَأَبْقَ

"And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring." (20:131)

Sh. As-S'adi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

"i.e. Don't extend your eyes out of amazement and don't keep looking out of approval at what people are enjoying of worldly gains such as tasty food and drink and fancy clothing and adorned homes and beautified women, for all that is from the splendor of worldly life which the souls of deceived ones rejoice over, and which the eyes of the negligent are amazed, and which the wrongdoers enjoy – without thinking of the hereafter. Then it all passes by quickly and disappears and kills those who love and adore it and they regret at a time when regret is of no benefit. Then when come forward at the time of Resurrection they will know what they were upon and that Allaah had only placed it as a trial and test, to see who would be deceived by it as opposed to who would be better in deed." (Tafsir as-S'adi, (pg. 516))

The Exalted says (what means):

 إنا جعلنا ما على الأرض زينة لها لنبلوهم أيهم أحسن عملا * وإنا لجاعلون ما عليها صعيدا جرزا 

"Indeed, We have made that which is on the earth adornment for it that We may test them [as to] which of them is best in deed.

And indeed, We will make that which is upon it [into] a barren ground." (18:7)

The immediate provisions of your Lord of knowledge, faith and the reality of righteous deeds and the deferred provisions of everlasting pleasures and a good life in the neighbourhood of your Lord, the Merciful, is greater (in essence and description) than what We have bestowed upon some and it is more lasting for it never gets cut off; food and shelter is continuous as the Exalted says (what means):

بل تؤثرون الحياة الدنيا والآخرة خير وأبقى 

"But you prefer the worldly life, While the Hereafter is better and more enduring." (87:16-17)

In this verse there is an indication that if a slave sees himself having cravings for the beauties of the world and is inclined towards them, he should remind himself of what is ahead from the provisions of his Lord and balance between the two.

Indeed your happiness lies your having a good opinion of your Lord, and your Lord (His Glory is great) is as one hopes Him to be, so He is more deserving than beauty and He is worthy of fear and adequate for [granting] forgiveness.

Your happiness lies in being pleased with Allaah's choice for you and in knowing that it is better than what you choose for yourself and in asking Allaah of His bounties and in knowing that He is appreciative and Knowing and Wise and Merciful.

So, O Maidservant of Allaah! Hasten to repentance to your Lord from what the devil has cast into your heart and caused to flow from your pen or tongue from displeasure of the decree of Allaah and displeasure at the distribution of Allaah and having a bad opinion of Allaah (may He be exalted). And know that the favours of Allaah upon you and others is far from being enumerated and accounted for by you. Allaah the Exalted says (what means):

 وَإِنْ تَعُدُّوا نِعْمَتَ اللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَا إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَظَلُومٌ كَفَّارٌ

"And if you should count the favor of Allaah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful." (14:34)

And the Exalted said (what means):

 وَإِنْ تَعُدُّوا نِعْمَةَ اللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَا إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَغَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ 

"And if you should count the favors of Allaah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allaah is Forgiving and Merciful." (16:18)

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I ran away from my non Muslim family who wanted to kill me. I had no money and nowhere to live. I was sleeping rough in a park. SOLACE immediately found a place for me to stay.

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I have learning difficulties and became Muslim in 2007 in a small village in Yorkshire. I tried to find Muslims to teach me how to pray. I went to one mosque and they told me women were not allowed here and closed the door in my face. With the help of SOLACE in 2011, I have just learnt how to recite surah fatiha.

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Narrated Ibn 'Abbaas (radhi Allaahu anhu): I heard Allaah's Messenger (Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam) saying,

"If the son of Adam had money equal to a valley, then he will wish for another similar to it, for nothing can fill (satisfy) the eye of Adam's son except dust. And Allaah (Subhahanu wata'alaa) forgives him who (repents to Him &) begs for His pardon." [Saheeh Al-Bukhaari, Hadeeth No. 445, Vol. 8]

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"The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) delivered a lengthy sermon one day covering the affairs of the world and the Hereafter.

He also said: 'Surely, the first thing that destroyed the Bani Israa'eel were the poor and needy women who went to great lengths for their clothes and colours. They wore colourful clothes which only the wealthy women could afford.'

He then mentioned one woman of the Bani Israil who was short-statured. She got for herself wooden sandals to conceal her height and got made for herself a ring with an opening which was locked from the top. She filled it with musk. She then walked with tall or fat women. The people sent a man behind them and he recognized the tall women but not the one with wooden sandals." [Sahih Muslim]

The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) cautioned his Companions about the world and its colourful life, and encouraged them to think of the Hereafter. He advised them to refrain from doing what the Bani Israa'eel had done that caused them to become accursed. He traced for them the roots of the destruction of the Bani Israa'eel.

The beginning of their destruction lay in their wealthy people making ostentatious displays in matters of dress, personal adornment, eating and drinking. They spent lavishly on these things. Poor people were impressed by the standard of the rich, the poor men's wives vied with the rich men's wives, tried to fit in with them, and do as they did. This burdened the poor men considerably.

When rich people act a certain way, it is but natural that the poor will sooner or later try to imitate them. This will then compound their financial problems for them.

Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) did not give some people wealth so that they could lord it over others. He gave it to them to earn their Hereafter with it. It is human nature to want to distinguish oneself. But Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) put this ambition in us so that we try to outdo each other in racing to Jannah and trying to acquire its higher levels. This is what the Sahaabah competed for.

We, on the other hand, compete for the petty distinctions of this world. We try to show that we are better than others based on the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, the languages we speak, and the technology we use. These are false standards of judgement.

Allah (subhana wa ta'ala) commands women to use the veil, adopt a simple life, and disdain artificiality.

The aim of a Muslim is not to gain prominence in worldly life but to prepare himself/herself for the Hereafter and seek the pleasure of Allah (subhana wa ta'ala).

"And strain not your eyes in longing for the things We have given for enjoyment to various groups of them (polytheists), the splendor of the life in this world, that We may test them thereby." (Quran 20:131)

"My similitude and that of the life of this world is that of a traveler who took a rest at mid-day under a shade of a tree and then left it." (Ahmad, at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and al-Hakim)

"Be in this world like a stranger, or a wayfarer." (Bukhari)

"When Allah ( Azza wa Jall) gives a person whatever he loves of the worldly benefits despite his disobedience, then that is a gradual enticement." (Ahmad and al-Bayhaqi)

"The Hour has drawn near, whereas the people have become more greedy for the life of the world and more remote from Allah." (Al-Hakim)

Yahya Ibn Mu'ath, may Allah be pleased with him, said:

"I don't order you to abandon life but to abandon sins. Abandoning life is a virtue and abandoning sins is a duty, so your need for this latter is greater than your need for the former."

This life is full of benefits and fortunes: The land on which man constructs his dwelling, and grows his food, drinks, dress... etc., all represents the nourishment for man's body and soul proceeding towards Allah. Man of course cannot do without these vital necessities. The one who takes from these necessities only according to his real need as commanded by Allah is saved and praised. But whoever takes more than necessary for himself falls into covetousness which will lead him into harm instead of benefit, and consequently divert him from the right path towards Allah and the Hereafter.

Likewise, taking less than required of the worldly benefits is harmful because the human body needs to satisfy certain basic needs, and that will increase its capability to worship Allah perfectly.

Umar Ibn Abdil Aziz said:

"The life of this world is not your permanent dwelling because Allah has decreed that it should perish and that all its dwellers should leave it. How many a populated area that will soon come to ruins, and how many a happy resident who will soon leave his residence. You should; therefore, leave this world in the best way you can, and the best of provisions is piety. Since the life of this world is neither a home nor an abode for the believer, he should be in it, either a stranger whose objective is to take the required provisions and return home, or a traveler who is residing nowhere and who is proceeding day and night to reach a country of residence."

A poet said:

"Man should take the minimum possible of the worldly pleasures because he is leaving for a fixed appointment; turn his eyes away from this life and its ornaments, make all the efforts to keep away from its lusts, because it is a place of temporary pleasures and trials, and all the people in it will perish."

It is not possible for a Muslim to give precedence to entertainment over responsibility. Those who do not believe in reward in the afterlife may try to cash whatever they can in this world. But a Muslim knows that the rewards of the afterlife are far greater. To him it is like taking $100 now or $1,000,000 after a month. The cash is not equal to the credit. So he/she prefers credit over cash.

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Not just public personalities, even ordinary people are within the purview of image experts. Jo Anna Nicholson, author of five self-help books, including Dressing Smart for Men and Dressing Smart for Women has made a fortune out of telling others how to dress and act so that they make an "instant impression" on prospective employers and spouses. Her books include chapters on "Looking As If You Don't Have a Clue", "How to Look Accidentally Good" and "Looking Promotable."

Popular magazines and websites abound with pseudo-psychoanalytical articles on what one's clothes, hair, jewellery or accessories are saying about a person, and how people can carefully tailor their appearance to create maximum impact.

Contrast this with the attitude of the early Muslims. When the Muslims opened Jerusalem, the Christians refused to give the city's keys to anyone except the Caliph. So 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him, set off from Madeenah to Jerusalem. His entourage? One attendant and a mule, which they took turns to ride. It happened to be the attendant's turn to ride on the day they were to reach Jerusalem. The attendant volunteered to give up his turn because it would look "awkward in the eyes of the people" if he rode and the Chief of the Believers walked. 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, refused, saying:

"Yakfeenaa sharaful Islaam – the honour of Islaam is enough for us."

On the way, while walking across a muddy area, 'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, took off his footwear, put it under his arm and raised his clothes so they wouldn't get muddy. When Abu Ubaydah, may Allaah be pleased with him, who was one of the commanders waiting for him saw this, he ran to 'Umar asking him to ride his horse while entering the city. He said they were in a land where the quality of clothes reflected the rank of people.

'Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, replied:

"I wish someone other than you had said that. Have you forgotten that we were a lowly people and it was Islaam that made us honourable? If we seek honour from anything other than Islaam, Allaah will return us to that state of lowliness."

Today this is the case. For proof, one only has to look around: Muslims are being humiliated, subjugated and oppressed by the very system and people whose ways they seek to emulate, in preference to the Sunnah of their Prophet, sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam, and the example of those whom Allaah was pleased with.

It's true, cultivating "coolness" may have more immediate pay-offs than cultivating sincerity. Wearing the latest brands and hanging out at the most-happening places is the ticket to gaining entry into the 'with-it' crowd – the people with the wittiest repartees, trendiest hairstyles and clothes, fanciest cars and gizmos— who spend a considerable amount of time and energy trying to stay abreast of the latest trends. As opposed to this 'magic circle', seen from the outside, the company of sincere people seems unglamorous, even boring.

But scratch deeper, and the truth surfaces.

People who try to fit in with a superficial world that subscribes to ever-changing fads, soon discover that the hollowness of their world finds an echo deep within. A deep-seated dissatisfaction with oneself takes a person to stylists and therapists, but make-up and makeovers can't change one's personality. They merely reinforce the belief that a person is incapable of being appreciated for themselves, they must use other people's advice instead of their own judgment to be successful, they must adopt someone else's idea of beauty to be acceptable in the eyes of others.

How cool is that?

On the other hand, people who set out on the straight and narrow, choosing substance over style, seeking to please Allaah as opposed to pleasing people, may not find their popularity ratings soar—quite the opposite, in fact.

Yet, they get strength in the certainty of their belief, that their reward is with Allaah in the Hereafter.

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Shaykh Bakr Aboo Zayd (rahimahullaah) writes in his book "The Etiquettes of Seeking Knowledge", page 147:

Our Shaykh Muhammad Al-Ameen ash-Shinqeetee who died on 17/12/1393H (rahimahullaah) took very little from this worldly life, and I used to see him and he could not differentiate between the values of different [notes within the same] currency, and he once said to me:

لقد جئت الى البلاد - شنقيط - ومعي كنز قل أن يوجد عند أحد, وهو القناعة

ولو أردت المناصب لعرفت الطريق إليها ولكني لا اوثر الدنيا على الاخرة ولا ابذل العلم لنيل المآرب الدنيوية 

"I came from my country (Shinqeet [Mauritania]) and with me is a treasure that is very seldom found in the possession of anyone, and it is contentment, and if I wanted high status, I would have known the way to achieve it, but I chose not to exchange this worldly life for the hereafter, and I do not give my knowledge to attain worldly desires."

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-'Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah) commented on this and said:

"This is the words from Shaykh Shanqeetee (may Allaah have mercy upon him) resembling people of knowledge, they do not desire by that to give themselves credit but they want by it to benefit the creation, and the people to emulate them, and be upon this path. Because we know them, they were not looking for accrediting themselves rather they are the furthest people from that.

And he, may Allaah have mercy on him, was as Shaykh Bakr mentioned, from the Zuhhaad. If you saw him he would not say except that he was a man from the desert. Even the cloak, you find he wore a normal cloak it had no embroidery. Also you find he was not concerned about himself or his thawb being smart and neat, may Allaah have mercy on him."

Source: Explanation by Shaykh Al-Uthaymeen (rahimahullaah) of Hilyat Talib al-'Ilm (The Etiquettes of Seeking Knowledge) by al-Shaykh Baker Abu Zaid (rahimahullaah).

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The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: “Do not hate one another, do not envy one another and do not turn your backs on one other. But O’ slaves of Allah, be brothers!” (Saheeh Al-Bukhaari)

Abu Hatim:

The intelligent one must avoid envy in every circumstance, for indeed the least of jealousy is being displeased with the Decree and wishing for the opposite of what Allah the Most High has decreed for His slaves, and thereafter the heart being wrapped in wanting to see the blessing removed from the Muslim. The soul of the envier never finds rest and his body never finds relaxation unless he sees the blessing removed from his brother. But how impossible is that! How impossible that the Decree should aid the envier and what is in his inner self.

Muhammad ibn Ishaq recited the poem:

‘Excuse your envier over the blessing you’ve been singled out for

Indeed loftiness is fine, but with it comes envy

If they envy me, then I blame them not

Before me were people of virtue who did envy (others)

What is with me remains and what’s with them remains

And most of us have died in rage at the present

I am the one who’ve they’ve found (envy for) in their hearts

I don’t raise myself over them, nor do I wish to do so.’

‘Amr ibn Maymun said,

“Musa once saw a man near the Throne (of Allah) and so he had some ghibt (good jealousy) of his place and position. So he asked about him and he said, ‘Shall I inform you of his deeds? He never used to envy the people for what Allah has given them of His Bounty, and he was not disobedient to his parents.’ He said, ‘And how can he disobey his parents?’ He said, ‘A person curses for their sake until they are cursed by others. And he (the man) did not spread slander.”

’Umar ibn al-Khattab:

“None is endowed with a blessing from Allah, except that you’ll find someone envying him for it. And even if a person were to be more upright than an arrow, you shall still find someone criticising him. And a word brings no harm if there is no-one entertaining it.”

Ibn Sirin:

“I have never been jealous of anyone over something worldly, because if he is from the people of Paradise, how can I envy him for a worldly thing when he is on his way to Paradise? And if he is from the people of Hell, then how can I envy him for a worldly thing when he is on his way to Hell?”

Abu Hatim:

Jealousy is from the characteristics of the lowly ones, and abandoning it is from the actions of the virtuous ones. Every flame can be put out, but the flame of jealousy cannot be put out. Jealousy breeds rancour & hatred and that is the origin of evil. Whoever conceals evil in his heart, it will plant a bitter fruit, its growth will result in anger and its fruits will be regret. Hasad (jealousy/envy) is the name given when a person wishes to see the blessing removed from others and instead comes to him. As for the one who sees goodness in his brother and wants to attain the same without wishing for its removal from his brother, then this is not hasad that is blameworthy and prohibited.

Abu Ja’far once said to Mu’awiyah ibn Abi Sufyan, “How quickly the people come to see you upon your arrival to Madinah!” So the leader of the faithful (Mu’awiyah) said:

‘Indeed, the noble man faces many an envier

But you will not find any to envy the lowly ones.’

Muhammad ibn Husayn recited,

‘They were jealous of the blessing when it appeared

So they cast it with statements of falsehood and lies

But when Allah does reveal a blessing

The words of the envious can cause it no harm’

Abu Hatim:

There is no safety from the haasid (jealous) except keeping distant from him, and this is because the more he keeps looking to what you have been given over him, the more it increases him in gloom and envy, and having a bad opinion of Allah. Indeed, the envier does not envy you because you are evil or because of any betrayal on your part, rather he envies you because he’s gone against being pleased with the Decree.

It is as al-‘Utbi said,

‘I keep thinking of how I may have wronged you, but I cannot see

Any wrongdoing on my part, rather you’ve proved jealous’

And al-Abrash recited:

‘The jealous has nothing except what he’s jealous of

And for him is resentment from all people

I see seclusion to be better for a youth

Than sitting with bad company; so get up if he sits.’

Humayd: “I said to al-Hasan, ‘O’ Aba Sa’id! Does the believer envy?’ He said,

‘What has made you forget the sons of Ya’qub when they envied Yusuf? Rather hide the envy in your chest, for it will not harm you so long as it doesn’t pass your tongue and your hands do not carry it out.”

Abu Hatim:

"For a person, the worst of garments is Al-Hasad (envy) because it breeds grief and sadness and it is an illness which has no cure. The envier is likely to encounter misfortune, have you not seen Iblis? He envied Adam so his envy caused him misfortune until he became accursed after having been well-established. It is easy for a person to please every angry one in this world except the envier, for indeed he cannot be pleased until the blessing which he envies is removed (from a person)."

Some wise men used to say,

“There are 4 types of people most prone to depression: The short-tempered man, the one consumed by envy, the one who mixes with eloquent men learned in literature but he himself is not eloquent or learned, and the wise man who is belittled and humiliated by his people…”

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In an age where people’s lives are so transparent for many to view via social networking sites, often “stalking” can lead to envy as we compare our lives to the lives of others. So as we gaze at the photographs of our friends’ weddings, holidays, newborns, spouses or homes, envy maybe nurtured within us. If we hear news of someone doing well in their exams, or gaining a job promotion, envy may grow within us. Envy may perhaps initially be indiscernible within our hearts. But on closer inspection we realise we wish we had what they enjoy and we would feel pleasure at the thought of them losing that blessing. And because these are just feelings which we harbor, and not actions which we commit, we consider envy to be harmless and benign. Yet envy is the root to so many other evils. It is the root to backbiting, scorning, hurting others feelings and possibly even breaking friendships and relationships.

Narrated Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) said that the Messenger of Allaah (peace be upon him) said: “Indeed envy eats up good deeds just as fire consumes wood.” [Ahmad]

On the one hand you may be a veritable factory of good deeds. You may be earning heavy rewards equitable to the mountains and with sincerity equivalent to the oceans in depth. You may be reading lots of Quran and praying Salaah. You may have fasted in the month of Ramadaan. You may be working for your local community voluntarily, keeping ties with your relations. Yet on the other hand, because you envy others for the blessings bestowed upon them by Allah (subhana wa ta'aalla), you may come to find on the day of judgment that your good deeds have been burnt to ashes. And as fire quickly consumes and burns wood, the envy you harbour will also quickly burn and consume your good deeds.

"And those whose scales (of good deeds) are light, they are those who lose their ownselves, in Hell will they abide. The Fire will burn their faces, and therein they will grin, with displaced lips (disfigured)." (Surah [23]: 103-4)

These people will enter the hellfire not because their scale of good deeds will be empty. They will be in the hellfire because their scale of good deeds was not heavy enough. If we do not recognise and combat the feeling of envy in our hearts, we may be end up with the same fate: a light scale of good deeds and residence in the hellfire. So what can we do to combat this?

Tips to combat envying others:

1. Start to LOVE for others what you love for yourself and TREAT others as you would like to be treated yourself

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "I swear by the One in whose Hands is my soul! None of you will believe until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." (Bukhaari & Muslim)

None of us truly can claim to believe until we love for others what we love for ourselves. So even if we don’t have that beautiful home, that lucrative business, that successful career, that degree from a prestigious institution, that spouse or those children, because we would love this for ourselves, we wish for others to enjoy these blessings too. Why? Because this feeling of loving for others what we love for ourselves, identifies, depicts and brands us as a believer. And it is this feeling, which differentiates those who consider themselves to be believers from those who in actuality are believers. Once fostered within, it is hard to envy those whose happiness becomes your happiness.

Abdullah ibn Umar ibn Al-‘Aas (radiAllaahu 'anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallam) said,

“Whoever would love to be saved from the Fire and entered into Paradise, then let him die with faith in Allah and the Last Day, and let him TREAT the PEOPLE the WAY he would LOVE to be TREATED.” [Musnad Ahmad, Number 6768, Sahih]

If we really wish to be saved from the Fire then we should not envy others for the blessings bestowed upon them just as we would wish for others not to envy us.

2. Make Du'a for others to get what YOU want for yourself

Imagine if we found out the Imaam of Masjid al-Haram in Makkah right now made a specific Du'a for us, would we not be genuinely pleased with this? If you pray for another Muslim, Allah (subhana wa ta aalla) will bless you with something even better, the Du'a of an angel for you to have the same. So when you see others with something that you would wish to have make Du'a for Allah Almighty to bless them with more and Allah Almighty will bless you with more.

Abu ad-Darda narrated that The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The Du'a of a Muslim for his brother (in Islaam) in his absence is responded to. There is an angel in front of him that has been assigned to him. Every time he makes a du'a for his brother with good, the angel assigned to him says, “Amin! And to you the same”.” [Sahih Muslim]

A friend of mine whenever she had a need for herself she would make Du'a for her friends who needed the same and she would often be granted it too, at times even before the person she even made Du'a for. So if you see someone who has that which you wish for rather than envying them, make Du'a for them to be blessed with this and with more and Allah Willing, Allah will appoint an angel to pray for you to have this too.

3. Understand the REAL value of what you are envying others for

What you may be envying others for regarding their worldly matters may be of no benefit to you in your afterlife and may be insignificant in the eyes of Allah Almighty. Having that person’s bigger house, nicer car, better paid job, four kids and beautiful spouse may not get you Jannah and may make it easier for you to enter the hellfire. So why wish to have them?

“Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one's] hope.” (Surah [18]: 46)

Put things in perspective. Understand you may have in your life what is best for you. They may have in their life what is best for them. Having someone else’s life may not make you happy in this world or the next.

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The new Westfield mega mall recently opened in East London, amid much media hype and celebrity endorsement. A shiny futuristic maze of shops and boutiques, complete with restaurants and even hotels, all designed so that the visitor can immerse themselves within the cosy consumer bubble that is Westfield.

What is clear to anyone observing the mall, is the number of Muslims constantly entering and exiting, shopping bags in hand. In fact, for a large percentage of east London’s young Muslim population, this is the prime location not only for shopping but for leisure and relaxation. It even has a prayer room. But what do we know about Westfield? Do we ever think about where our money is going? We are probably all aware that big corporations are hard to avoid, and we may rationalise our buying from them, with many excuses such as price, availability and convenience, and in fact we may even balance our sense of discomfort by giving to charities, buying 'eco friendly' and avoiding known boycotted brands. We excuse ourselves, rightly or wrongly, from turning a blind eye to child labour, oppressive conditions, and sweatshops, arguing ignorance and lack of alternatives. We may even argue that our money is bound to end up in the wrong hands eventually, and it is futile to try and stop it.

There may be some truth in the fact that we do not always know where our money goes, and it may possibly end up funding wars and oppression indirectly, even if we shop carefully. However, Allah SWT in His infinite mercy does not hold us accountable for that which we do not know. With Westfield, however, we have no such excuse.

The founder of Westfield Group, Frank Lowy, does not disguise the fact that he is a retired Israeli commando, having fought against the people of Palestine during the 1948 war, nor does he hide his close friendships with high profile politicians including former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert. He gives millions to the rogue state of Israel, a state which is illegal according to international law. Furthermore, he established an independent think tank focusing on Israeli and US security and foreign policy whose research is consistently Islamaphobic and imperialistic, and far from hiding his involvement in the project, he named it "The Lowy Institute".

It is clear, then, that we as Muslims cannot simply blame our compulsive consumerism on lack of knowledge, because it is freely available. Nor can we just turn a blind eye to these facts. Simply put, by shopping, eating and spending in Westfield, we are directly funding the murder of Muslims in Palestine. Our money also contributes to the destructive, barbaric and inhumane policies put forth by US and Israeli Governments in conjunction with the Lowy Institute. Every pound spent in Westfield, leads to misery on the West Bank.

We must ask ourselves honestly, where do our priorities lie? Are they with consuming, owning and spending, regardless of the consequence? Or are they with the ummah? Undoubtedly, when confronted with our obligation to deprive ourselves of luxuries and comforts, it is a difficult truth to face. It would be more convenient to forget, indeed that is what Westfield is there for, to encourage us to seek solace in material goods, and forget ourselves in designer labels. However this is contradictory to Islamic teachings. As Muslims we are fortunate to know that true satisfaction can only be gained through submitting to the will of Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta’ala), and the Sunnah of our Prophet (Sal Allahu Alayhi Wassalaam) has provided us with a comprehensive and fulfilling way of life. Westfield is completely built upon the capitalist philosophy at odds with Islam, a philosophy of consumption and instant gratification. According to this framework, we should adopt objects and ownership as our spiritual goals. We must work harder, in order to buy more things. In fact, if we took this as a model for our lives, we would literally shop ‘till we dropped!

A Muslim is a brother to another Muslim. The Prophet (Sal Allahu Alayhi Wassalaam) told us that “The relationship of the believer towards the people of faith is like that of the head to the body. The believer feels the pain of the people of faith just as the body feels the pain of the head.” We as an ummah need to fight collectively against our urge to dull the pain we feel at the plight of our brothers and sisters, by buying, shopping and consuming, because in reality we are only perpetuating our own destruction.

Ibn al-Qayyim spoke about the obligation of helping our brothers and sisters in his book, AlFawaa'id:

"There are different ways of supporting a fellow believer: with one’s wealth, with one’s position of authority or power, by means of physical service, by offering sincere advice and guidance, by making supplication (du’aa’) and asking for forgiveness for them, and by feeling their pain.."

We can all make dua, even if we may not be able to provide power or authority. But by continuing to shop in Westfield, not only do we avoid and shy away from feeling the pain of our brothers, and not only do we fail to support them with our wealth, but in fact we actually increase and exacerbate their difficulties. Just as we would not take our own money and purchase the weapons by which our family would be killed, just as we would hate to contribute towards the death of our own mother, sister, brother; So we have a duty, at the very least, to prevent our money from funding the death and destruction of our brothers and their countries, our countries. We, as Muslims, cannot simply pick and choose our morals and principles to suit our mood, and then proceed to shout in outrage when those morals we have deemed applicable to uphold, are violated.

We must no longer be our own worst enemy.

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Showing generosity to visitors and guests has always been a virtuous act in the previous nations, one that has deservedly attracted respect and good-standing within the community. But what about within Islam?

This tradition is called Karam in Arabic and can be translated as ‘honouring the guest, being generous and noble to him’. In fact, it is no surprise that the many different variations found of the root verb ka-ra-ma all imply excellence and other praiseworthy characteristics.

Al-Kareem is one of the Beautiful Names of Allah: 

“…your Lord, the Generous (al-Kareem).” (al-Infitaar, 6)

“Recite, and your Lord is the most Generous (al-Akram).” (al-’Alaq, 3)

It is the description of the Blessed Angels:

“And indeed over you are keepers. Noble (kiraaman) and recording.” (al-Infitaar, 10-11)

“Indeed, it is a word [conveyed by] a Noble (kareem) Messenger.” (al-Takweer, 19)

It increases the magnificence of that which is already exalted:

“Indeed it is a Noble (kareem) Qur’aan.” (al-Waaqi’ah, 77)

“Thus exalted is Allah, the Sovereign, the Truth; there is nothing worthy of worship except Him, Lord of the Noble (kareem) Throne.” (al-Mu’minoon, 116)

It is used many times for the best of qualities within the Messengers and special chosen servants of All?h:

“They will be in gardens, honoured (mukramoon).” (al-Ma’aarij, 35)

“And those who do not testify to falsehood, and when they pass near ill speech, they pass by with dignity (kiraaman).” (al-Furqaan, 72)

“Rather they are honoured (mukraman) servants.” (al-Anbiyaa’, 26)

“…and there came to them a Noble (kareem) Messenger [Moosaa].” (al-Dukhaan, 17)

“Has there reached you the story of the honoured (mukramoon) guests of Ibraaheem?” (al-Dhaariyaat, 24)

It comes as no surprise therefore that Islaam places an incredible emphasis on karam, even though one senses a lack of concern amongst the Muslims to this very central part of Islamic conduct and behaviour in society.

It is clear from the very beginning of the Prophethood how important the honouring of the guests has been. It was a well known custom of the Arabs during their Jaahiliyyah period, to be the most generous and noble to their visitors, whoever they might have been.

We see in the famous hadeeth narrated by Imaam al-Bukhaari (rahimahullah) when the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), distressed after receiving revelation in the cave of Hira’ informed Khadijah (radhy Allahu ‘anha) of it, fearing that something might happen to him. Khadijah said,

“No by Allah! Allah will never disgrace you! You maintain the ties of kinship, help the poor and needy, serve your guests generously and assist those deserving ones after calamity.”

And how true was the statement of the blessed Mother of the Believers! Allah ‘azza wa jall will never disgrace the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) but rather increases his status day by day as more and more people bear witness to his perfection. Notice also that to honour the guests with generosity and nobility has been made a key reason for the absence of disgracing the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam).

In fact, to show karam to the guest is an obligation upon every Muslim as indicated by the hadeeth narrated by Imaam al-Bukhaari and Imaam Muslim that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: “Whosoever believes in Allah and the Final Day should entertain his guest generously – his deserving reward: a day and a night (of the best). To entertain the guest (properly) is for three days, anything offered over that is to be counted as charity. And it is not permissible for the guest to stay so long as to make matters difficult and embarrassing (for the host).”

One can see the stress and emphasis of honouring the guest by the way the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) linked this act of worship to belief in Allah and the Final Day. This shows it is mandatory. The first day and night of the guest necessitates a very high quality reception, with the most excellent of food and service. The second and third day is of a more normal kind. Not only that, but the fact that if any further time offered to the guest over three days is sadaqah, then this clearly shows that what must be less than that is from the waajibaat.

Some Hadeeth concerning Karam

There are many narrations concerning the importance of the right of the guest and the etiquettes to be shown by the host. Imaam al-Bukhaari (rahimahullah) entitled his chapters in light of this: “The right of the guest”, “Honouring the guest and serving him with one’s own hands”, “To prepare the meal and to trouble oneself for the guest”, “What is disliked as regard anger and impatience before a guest” and so on.

‘Uqbah b. ‘Aamir (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) narrated in Saheeh al-Bukhaari: We said, “O Messenger of Allah, you have sent us out, and we are to stay with a people who do not host and entertain us, so what do you think about that?” The Messenger of Allah replied, “If you stay with a people and they entertain you properly as they should, then accept it. If they don’t do that, then take from them the right of the guest, which they must give.”

Abu Hurayrah (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) narrates that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Any guest that comes upon a people and he is deprived (of hospitality), then he can take from them the amount of his (deserved) meal, and there is no blame upon him.”

The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said to Abdullah b. ‘Amr (radhy Allahu ‘anhum), “Verily, your guest has an obligatory right upon you.”

Abu Kareemah (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) narrates that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “The night for the guest is an obligatory right upon every Muslim. So if he comes to the courtyard, there is a debt upon the host, (the guest) if he wills may take it or leave it.”

Al-Talib (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “To entertain the guest for three days is his binding obligatory right (haqqun laazim); anything over that is charity.”

Therefore the ruling upon entertaining the guest is an obligation for three days. This was mentioned by Imaam Ahmad (rahimahullah) and a group of the scholars. One can be considered a sinner for not performing this right for your brother. Imaam ibn Hazm (rahimahullah) said,

“To entertain the guest is an obligation upon the villager and the city dweller, upon the scholar and the ignorant; a day and night of excellence and then three days as his right to be hosted. If he does not receive his hospitality, then he is to take his right however he can and have his debt paid off as such.”

Subhaanallah, how amazing Islam is! What other system of life emphasises building the links of love and brotherhood between members of its society as the blessed Deen of Allah does! Where else can one find such compassion and generosity, not only to those whom you know, but to those whom are unknown as well! It is unfortunate to admit that the weak links amongst our brothers and sisters today, whether ‘practising’ or not, can be seen to stem directly from the lack of realisation about the importance of serving the Muslim community and especially so their guests.

Narrations from the Companions on Karam

Not surprisingly, the companions in particular would take this issue very seriously. Abu Bakr (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) became furious when his guests were not served properly by his son Abdur-Rahman (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) even though he was technically not to blame! Bukhari narrates that Abu Bakr (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) got so angry, he rebuked his son and invoked Allah to cut the ear of Abdur-Rahmaan! All that, simply because he thought that his guests had not received the proper attention deserving of them.

Honouring the guest is not restricted to the rich or those whom you know only. In fact, showing karam and generosity to those whom you don’t know, and the poor, is a higher form of ‘ibaadah which brings together many excellent virtues.

It is narrated that Abu Hurayrah (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) said,

“The best of the people to the poor was Ja’far b. Abi Taalib. We would go with him and he would feed us with whatever he had at his house.”

Abu Bakr b. Hafs (rahimahullah) narrated that Abdullah b. ‘Umar (radhy Allahu ‘anhum) would not eat except that an orphan would be by his side.

Narrated Hamza b. Suhayb (rahimahullah) that Suhayb b. Sinaan al-Roomi (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) used to feed people a great amount of food, so ‘Umar (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) said to him, “O Suhayb, you feed the people large amounts of food, this is extravagance with your wealth!” Suhayb (radhy Allahu ‘anhu) said, “Indeed the Messenger of Allah says, ‘The best of you are those who feed the people and return the greetings (salaam).' This is what makes me feed the people [a lot of food].”

It is clear to see from the biographies of the Salaf (the early blessed generations), that generosity was a key virtue in the character of the Muslim. Many Sahaabah in particular were famous for their acts of magnanimity such as Abu Bakr, Talhah, ‘Aa'ishah and many more (radhy Allahu ‘anhum ajma’een).

As the Poet said:

“I honour the riding beast of my guest before I honour him,

I will have not honoured him if I don’t honour his horse!“

i.e. that if you really want to show your generosity and be noble to your guest, then it is not just about feeding and housing him! The real karam will involve looking after all his affairs such as feeding the ride in the above poem, or to make a direct analogy in our times, looking after the car of the guest, having it cleaned, washed, serviced and ready for him. It might involve buying his on-going plane or rail ticket, organising his affairs, preparing clothes for him and all other things that will put your guest at ease, and make him feel special as he deserves to be.

Instances of this can still actually be seen here in the West although we still see – wal-hamdulillah – many examples existing of such exemplary behaviour in some of the Muslim lands, where even the extremely poor will put everything at your disposal even if it is their only food. Many people still fight for the right to host the guest so they can be honoured and rewarded themselves! How often has a traveller remembered afterwards the immense generosity displayed by locals in his time of need, and then supplicates for him, as instructed by the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) when he said, “When someone has been done a favour, and he says to his benefactor ‘Jazakallahu Khayran’ (May Allah reward with you goodness), then he has indeed excelled in praising him.“

The Story of the Guests of Sayyidina Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam)

For an understanding of the etiquettes required in correctly serving the guests, one needs to look no further than the beautiful story of Sayyidina Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam), the narrative which may be found in the Blessed Qur’aan. Allah ‘azza wa jall says:

“Has the story reached you of the honoured guests of Ibraaheem? They said, “Salaaman” (Peace be upon you). He answered: “Salaamun! (Peace be upon you!) You are a people unknown to me.” Then he turned to his family, and brought out a fat [roasted] calf, then placed it close to them, saying, “Will you not eat?”” (al-Dhaariyaat, 24-27)

The Mufassireen discussed this event in detail in their commentaries, deriving many useful lessons in the manners of treating the guest.

When the guests (Jibreel, Mikaa’eel and Israafeel according to Ibn Katheer) came upon Ibrahaam (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam), he did not recognise them at all, yet he still greeted them with a happy and welcoming demeanour. They said to him Salaaman yet he returned the greeting with a better and stronger one, Salaamun! (Nay, Peace be upon you!) The grammarians mentioned when comparing a statement said in marfoo’ (the nominative) state with one made in a state of nasb (i.e. accusative), the marfoo’ statement (in this case, Salaamun) is much stronger and eloquent. So Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) responded with the best of greetings as per the command of Allaah ‘azza wa jall when He says:

“And when you are greeted with a greeting, greet [in return] with one better than it or [at least] return it [in a like manner].” (al-Nisaa’, 86)

This would have instantly made his guests fill totally welcome and at ease, even though he didn’t know them.

After Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) had welcomed his guests and invited them inside as cheerfully and sincerely as possible, Allaah says, “Fa raagha…” i.e. he turned away very quickly and discreetly towards his family. It is clear from the use of this word in the Arabic language that Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) did not waste any time to hurry and prepare the food for his guests.

It is common to see when one goes to a house as a guest, that the host may ask whether they require food. This is immensely bad manners for it puts the guest in an awkward position, for how can the guest possibly be expected to say, “Yes! Bring me food!” In fact, it is often the sign of a miserly host who will ask such a question, because he often will have no intention whatsoever of wanting to entertain his guest, rather he wants to almost ‘hurry’ his guest and force him to want to leave! And if the host does go and get the food, he may take his time and make a big issue out of it, almost forcing the guest to think that a great effort has been expended for him, and that he is causing difficulties, again making him feel uncomfortable and uneasy.

How opposite this is to the example set by the Prophets! See how Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) hurries away without any fuss, expecting nothing less but that the guests will eat, being as quick as possible so as to not make the guests wait and feel hungry or uncomfortable. He did not wait to hear them request their rights, and nor did he remind them of any favours he was doing for them such as to say, “I am going off to prepare food for you now.”

Sayyidina Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) then went and chose the best possible food he could offer, a young and fat calf, roasted upon heated stones. Consider the swiftness of the host here, and even though there were only three guests, it is always better to have more food, for some food left over is better than to not have enough in terms of entertaining the visitor. It is well known that to place in front of the guest more than he can eat is from the higher ideals of karam. That is the real reward of the guest that he is owed as explained by the word ‘Jaaizatuhu‘ in the hadeeth found in Bukhaari i.e. the ‘premium reward’ the guest is entitled to on his first day with the host.

“And placed it close to them…” i.e. the food was not just placed in front of them, but close to them, minimising any effort from the guest. It is understood to be against the etiquettes of karam to set the food in another area or room and then to ask the guest to go there. Again, the example here is of sincerity and a real will by the host for the guest to be at total ease, to enjoy his stay, and receive his obligatory rights.

“…saying, “Will you not eat”?” i.e. being very easy and gentle with the guest, not using any forceful tactics to make the visitor feel uneasy. This form of karam is a skilful medium between being too insistent, and being miserly with the food.

It’s unfortunate that many Muslims, after having such clear examples of the lofty behaviour expected from the servants of Allah, still seem to be very loose with such obligations. This is also strange considering that many of the people of knowledge considered the reward of the host is likened to the one who is fasting.

In fact, many Muslims are often unaware that they are unintentionally being bad hosts in front of their guests. Karam is not something which is necessarily rote memorised; rather it is something which is passed down via custom, and comes naturally to those who are sincere about their hospitality.

Small points are often magnified in such occasions, which is why we see Ibraaheem (‘alayhis-salaatu was-salaam) go to such measures that many might have seen as extreme. Ibn al-Jawzi (rahimahullah) considered it bad manners for there to be silence during the meal, rather there should be speech about good matters etc. This is well understood today, where prolonged bouts of silence during eating causes one to become uncomfortable, whereas if the host is happy and cheerful and encourages the right environment of relaxation and ease, as well as ensuring respect for the food and the other aspects of the Sunnah when beginning and ending the meal, one sees the fruit of his hospitality.

It is sad to see how often Muslims make empty promises to their friends, either in person, or by phone, and then when their guest turns up, eagerly looking forward to meeting again, he is faced with a miserable face and excuses. How damaging it is to the hearts when this happens especially without good excuse. Such people have to increase in their taqwa of Allah and protect themselves from falling into the worst of categories, i.e. those who break their promises, one of the signs of the Hypocrites, and those who are misers, which is the exact opposite of karam. Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullah) explained in his Majmoo’ how the Qur’aan and Sunnah were so opposed to the characteristics of miserliness etc, and how it was seen amongst the Salaf as one of the worst diseases of the heart.

In these materialistic times, where everyone is obsessed only with themselves, we need to turn back to the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and protect our communities from the evil diseases of the society we live in. Reviving every small detail of our tradition is the only way to success and strength, and we should make our concern for our brothers and sisters of this Ummah a priority likewise.

_________________________

References

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One of the biggest enemies of productivity in our world today is the comfortable consumerism culture that we’re living in.

Everything is within reach and we’re constantly looking for the latest, quickest, or smallest! Each of us (except whom Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) had mercy upon) is literally ‘killing’ themselves running after acquiring more and more of today’s world and what’s sad about this is that we, as Muslims, should know better.

History seems to repeat itself, for the Muslim Ummah did indulge in such consumerism more than 1,000 years ago, during the Golden Age of the Islamic civilisation. The success of the expanding empire brought new riches unknown to the early Muslims which started corrupting the Muslims and making them forget their true purpose. True to the words of the Prophet (Peace be upon him), this consumerism destroyed us. In a hadeeth, the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said:

"By Allah, it is not the poverty about which I fear in regard to you but I am afraid in your case that (the worldly) riches may be given to you as were given to those who had gone before you and you begin to vie with one another for them as they vied for them. And these may destroy you as these destroyed them.” (Sahih Muslim, Book #042, Hadith #7065).

Fighting Consumerism

So what’s the problem with consumerism? And what’s the cure? This is what we’ll try to tackle in this article insha’Allah.

At first glance, nothing seems to be wrong with consumerism, in fact the objective seems noble and peaceful: it’s about living a comfortable and happy life and enjoying this world to the fullest. Nothing sinister, right? Well, not really. If you start thinking of our lives in terms of dunya AND Akhira, you start to realise that this consumerism culture is actually a distraction us from our true purpose in life, of worshipping Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) and being His true vicegerent on Earth.

Let me give you an example: Imagine a student who’s supposed to start his University degree this year, he’s so concerned about ‘comfort’ that he asks for a special couch in the lecture hall, 3D HDTV screen to watch his favourite show whilst the lecture is going on, and of course popcorn and a packet of chips, and he doesn’t want to take exams nor do any assignments. Who thinks this student would survive university life? Or would even get a degree?! Sounds bizarre, right? But that’s exactly what we’re doing, instead of us working for our Akhira, we’re so concerned about the comforts of this life and how we can make our lives just that bit extra comfortable and easier, that we’re trading our finite world with the infinite Akhira! There’s nothing wrong in being comfortable; but when this becomes our sole objective, that’s when it becomes a problem!

Another issue with consumerism culture is that it literally entraps and enslaves people so they think of nothing else but how to ‘get more and have more’. People get into debt to buy bigger houses, get into more debt to buy a better car, few years down the line, once they’ve paid their debts, they go through the whole cycle again and get into more debt. We always want the latest, biggest, smallest, newest, and as the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:

"Nothing fills (satisfies) the son of Adam except Dust”. (Sahih Bukhari, Book #76, Hadith #445)

i.e. A person will never be satisfied till he meets death. The cash-less credit card society is teaching us to buy now and worry about paying later. It is directly feeding us into a 25-50 year slavery to financial institutions and banks; on most accounts, this was one of the reasons behind the recent severe global financial crisis.

A third grave consequence of the consumerism lifestyle – and this one has truly affected the Muslims – is that we’ve become lazy, expecting “others” to produce whilst we consume. We do not grow what we eat, we do not make what we wear, we do not produce what we ride, everything is imported from planes to biscuits! And everything is at our convenience. But there’s a problem here: we become dependants on “others” for our survival, and hence have a weak economic status in the international sphere. How do you think China, India and Brazil started to get noticed by the ‘Developed World’? They became producing/exporting countries and unless we as Muslims really get our act together and export more than we import, I’m afraid the consequences would be severe for the Ummah.

An Anti-dote: Zuhd

So how do we get out of this? Al-hamdulillah, we’ve a very powerful Islamic concept that would work as an anti-dote to consumerism culture. This is known as ‘Zuhd’ (known in English as Asceticism). Unfortunately, this concept has been grossly misunderstood and misinterpreted by many Muslims to mean complete refusal of dunya, hiding in a corner, and living a miserable, harsh and sad life.

Far from this, Zuhd according to the Sunnah of the Prophet (Peace be upon him) and the understanding of the Companions (May Allah be pleased with them) has a very simple but powerful meaning: it means to hold dunya in your hand, but not letting it into your heart. What this means is that you should work for dunya, but never let that take over your life that you forget the Akhira. You should build this dunya but when you’re asked to sacrifice some of it for Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala) and His Messenger (Peace be upon him), you can easily do it, because the dunya is in your hands and not your heart.

If we look at the life of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) and His companions, we’d find many examples of such understanding of ‘Zuhd’. Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) once said:

"The worldly comforts are not for me. I am like a traveller, who takes a rest under a tree in the shade and then goes on his way.” (Tirmidhi).

The companions of the Prophet (Peace be upon him) even feared the worldly pleasures. One example being that a meal was brought to ‘Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Auf once when he was fasting. He said:

"Mus'ab bin ‘Umayr was martyred and he was better than I and was shrouded in his Burd and when his head was covered with it, his legs became bare, and when his legs were covered his head got uncovered. Hamza was martyred and was better than I. Now the worldly wealth has been bestowed upon us (or said a similar thing). No doubt, I fear that the rewards of my deeds might have been given earlier in this world.” Then he started weeping and left his food. (Sahih Bukhari, Book #23, Hadith #365).

I want to emphasize at this point, that I’m not against people improving their livelihood in this world and enjoying the blessings of Allah (Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala). Some of the Companions (May Allab be pleased with them) of the Prophet (Peace be uponhim) had thriving businesses, ate good food, and built nice homes, but once the call to sacrifice for Islam came, they threw all that away and ran for the Akhira.

Work and Sacrifice were the building blocks of the Islamic civilisation, not the palaces, art, and consumerism lifestyle. Those who came after the first 3 generations of Islam forgot these 2 ingredients and the Muslim civilisation declined.

After all that, don’t worry – there’s still hope!

We can still pick up the tools that were left by our ancestors, the tools of hard work and sacrifice, and rebuild our Ummah bi’ithnillah. Equipped with these, we can push dunya from our hearts and into our hands. Individually and collectively we can rebuild a new beginning for the Muslim Ummah – one that fights consumerism, encourages production, and gives back to the world more than it consumes.

Some Practical Tips

I leave you with 3 tips to help you take action today:

Adopt a Minimalistic lifestyle:

Build your life around what you ‘need’, rather than what you ‘want’. Be like the traveller as the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said in the hadeeth and live simply. Donate or throw away what you don’t need, and only keep those items that are essential to your day to day life. Believe me, you’ll feel so much ‘lighter’ as a consequence.

Invest more, consume less:

Try your best to always invest more of your resources (time, money, strength) and consume less. Invest your time in learning, helping others, volunteering, and worshipping. Invest your money in charity, new or existing businesses, helping Muslim charities and non-profit organisations. Invest your strength in working for Allah (Subhanhu Wa Ta’ala), helping the poor and needy and supporting those around you in whatever physical means possible.

Spread the simplicity message:

Encourage your family and friends to live a simple life rather than a material based one. It was said that simplicity is a part of faith and therefore try to spread the message about how we can fight our consumerism culture and what actions we can take from the Qur’an and Sunnah today to achive this. With sincere intentions and hard work, it can be done!

I hope this article has inspired you to take a look into your life differently, and inspired you look at dunya as a door to Akhira and not a door to limited comfortable life.

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Hasad is a desire that a blessing or a cause of happiness departs from its possessor and becomes transferred to oneself. Hasad is cancerous in its effect and leads to hatred, animosity, ill-feelings and often further disobedience towards Allah. It is condemned in many ahaadeeth. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (sallallahu alaihe wassallam) said,

‘Envy eats away good deeds like fire eats away wood.’ (Abu Daud and al-Tirmidhi).

Some of the causes of hasad are as follows:

1. Enmity and hatred: This is the one of the severest cases of envy because when a person has hatred and enmity in his heart for someone animosity begins to settle in his heart. This animosity needs to be treated and causes the person to desire revenge. If he is unable to get some sort of revenge, this animosity turns into envy: the person yearns for his enemy to lose any blessings that he has.

2. Low Self-Esteem: This type of envy originates whenever someone else is blessed with goodness the person feels inferior and this inferiority leads him to desire the blessings be removed from the other person.

3. Pride and Arrogance: This is when a person sees another succeeding beyond him and considers this person unworthy of this blessing. He is proud, thinks himself better and more deserving and wishes that the blessings be removed from his possession.

4. Astonishment: This is when people are amazed and astonished that others are distinguished from them, and question how someone like that can receive a blessing that they themselves do not have.

5. Fear of losing one’s own aims: This usually is in the case when a number of people seek a common goal. In such a situation each party is envious of the other when the other party is blessed with something that helps to achieve their common goal. If rival gains something for the common purpose, then one get jealous as they see this as compromising their own goal.

6. Love of leadership and status: The person who is very talented in his field, who is accustomed to praise, compliments and flattery will find it difficult not to envy one who is also up-and-coming in his field. As such, he will be saddened to hear of him being praised or esteemed and will wish that this blessing be removed from him. His love of recognition and a fear of losing this is for him a sufficient reason for and cause of envy.

7. Impurity of the soul: An impure soul rejoices at the calamities of others and regrets their blessings. This person is miserly with regards to Allah’s provisions and blessings, and his attitude is one which implies that the bounty, on others, diminishes Allah’s provision for him; he forgets that Allah favors whom He wills, without measure and that others cannot limit that which is decreed by him already.

In reality when a person is envious of another, he is actually doubting the wisdom of Allah (swt) and questioning His decision. This is because, ultimately, it is Allah who decided what favors’ to bestow on which people.

“O you who envies the blessings I have

May Allah (swt) protect us from this evil and severe disease. Aameen.

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The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, “Whoever relieves his brother of a hardship from the hardships of this world, Allah shall relieve him of a hardship from the hardships of the Day of Judgement. And whoever makes things easy for a person in difficulty, Allah will ease for him in this world and the Next. And whoever conceals (the faults of) a Muslim, Allah will conceal him in this world and the Next. Allah is forever aiding a slave so long as he is in the aid of his brother.” [Sahih Muslim, al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and others]

Abu Hatim said,

It is a must upon all Muslims that they should advise each other and alleviate each other’s sorrows and difficulties, because whoever relieves his brother of a hardship from the hardships of this world, Allah will relieve him of a hardship from the hardships of the Day of Judgement. And whoever strives to help a person with regards to his concerns, but is not able to completely fulfill it himself, then he has not fallen short. The smallest thing (a person can do) in settling people’s needs is giving due praise/thanks, and friends are known in times of need just like a family is tested in times of poverty. This is because in times of ease everyone is a friend, but the worst of friends is he who deceives his brothers during times of difficulty and need (by not being there for him/her), just like the worst of cities is the one without security and fertile land…

Al-Karizi recited the poem:

Al-Hasan al-Basri said,

‘Helping and settling the needs of a Muslim brother is more beloved to me than I’tikaf (seclusion in the mosque) for 2 months.’

Al-Basami recited:

A beautiful example of a Muslim’s generosity

A man once came to Yahya ibn Talha ibn ‘Ubaydallah and said, ‘Give us something.’ He said, ‘O boy (speaking to the young man who worked with him), give him whatever you have.’ So he gave him 20,000 which he (the man) took and attempted to carry. But it was too heavy for him and so he sat down and began to weep. He (Yahya) said, ‘What’s making you cry? Perhaps you think it’s too little, so shall I increase it for you?’ He said,

‘No, by Allah I do not think it’s too little, but I am crying due to what the earth consumes of your generosity.’

Yahya then said to him, ‘What you have just said to us is greater than what we have given you.’

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The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "The talebearer will not enter Paradise." [Sahih Muslim]

A man came to Hasan al-Basri and said: "Such-and-such man talked about you in an unfavourable manner."

"When?"

"Today."

"Where?"

"At his home."

"What were you doing in his home?"

"I went there for a feast."

"What did you eat there?"

"Such-and-such delicious food. I ate from all eight different dishes."

"Fearless wretch! You have managed to digest eight different dishes, but you could not digest only these words. Get out of my sight!"

The unity of Muslims is destroyed by tale-bearing. If one has committed the sin of hearing someone being backbitten about they should not compound their sin by informing the victim (or others) of what they heard. Hearts are soured when a person's words against one are brought to their attention. Backbiting and tale-bearing are more deadly than venom for the harmony of hearts required for the Muslims to be able to love and take care of one another.

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7 ways to stop arguing and get along better with people

I buried my face in the pillow, stuffed cotton wool into my ears, even tried whistling, but it was no use; I could still hear it. The infernal arguing from the hotel bedroom next door contaminated my ears like relationship toxic waste. I couldn't take anymore; I needed sleep. I had to do something.

Choosing the first sensible option I could think of, I focused my mind in an attempt to pray for them. It's amazing how desperation stimulates belief in the supernatural. Then I decided at 1am to fling my Britishness aside and knock on their door.

Why do we argue and what the blazes is wrong with it anyway?

How arguing ruins relationships

If you were raised in an argumentative household, it may feel natural to argue a lot. Maybe you get a buzz from the excitement that arguing brings. But whatever the cause, chronic arguing brings problems - and not just for the neighbours.

Sure, most of us argue sometimes and it would be a boring world if we all saw things in exactly the same way. But destructive arguing can destroy valuable relationships.

The opposite of arguing isn't agreement in all things, it's knowing how to disagree and still maintain mutual respect and liking.

Here are seven tips to help you stop arguing.

1) You stop arguing!

Take responsibility. It takes two to argue. Instead of thinking: "Well, s/he started it!", look to yourself: "Okay, s/he are trying to argue but I am not going to."

If you deny fire oxygen, it won't burn. Instead, recognize areas where you can agree and focus on those.

People will feel more connected to you and willing to cooperate when you can make at least some 'agreement statements' such as:

"I can see why you would think that..." or: "I realize what you are saying..."

Ask questions and listen to the answers.

2) Stop arguing by binning the insults

The famous psychologist John Gottman discovered that the way a couple argue is a big predictor of whether they'll break up. If their tiffs contain criticism (rather than complaint) then the relationship is headed toward meltdown. Character assassination is a huge no-no when it comes to keeping friends and loved ones.

When you criticize, you over-generalize negatively about their whole identity. So if someone forgets to pick up some milk, "You are such a lazy slob!" would be a criticism because it attacks their whole character. "I'm upset you forget the milk!" is a reasonable complaint because it's specific. Avoid criticizing rather than complaining and remember to let people know when they make you happy, too. : )

3) Stop trying to convince people by arguing

You might be right, but arguing isn't a great way to convince people. Why? Because if they're defensive and angry, they'll be unable to hear you.

People are like radio transmitters when it comes to communication. They are either set to 'receive' or 'transmit'. Arguing is akin to all participants being stuck on 'transmit'.

This is known technically as 'a waste of time'.

Logic only penetrates when someone is calm enough to let it. Plus, people often care more about being seen to be right when they argue rather than actually being right.

So just try and state your case once and forget it. Strong emotion swamps the thinking part of the brain; trying to convince someone whilst you or they are angry or feeling insulted won't work.

4) Stop arguing about the past

How many of us talk about issues only relating to the past seven days? If we did this it would stop our discussions spiralling out of control.

If a woman and man are arguing about the fact she feels he ignored her at her In-Law's, then suddenly she brings up the time in 1984 when he was late to her friend's wedding, then he reminds her of the way she insulted him in front of the kids back in 1990, and so on, we have the equivalent of a minor border skirmish turning into an all-out nuclear war. Ouch!

Constantly going back to stuff someone 'did wrong' weeks, months, or years before is toxic. What's done is done. You will find arguments growing shorter because there will be less ammunition to fire at one another when you stop time travelling.

So agree to talk only about stuff that happened within the previous week - period.

5) Give yourself 30 minutes to calm down

Here's what happens: Two people are having a heated argument. One person goes into another room to 'cool off'. After ten minutes, they feel calmer. So they go back into the same space as the person they'd been arguing with - but what happens? Even though both parties felt calmer, suddenly they are back fighting again.

Feeling calmer and being calmer can be two different things. It takes 30 minutes or so to calm down physiologically after a row - so give it more time. And during the cool-off time, refrain from rehearsing in your head all the things you want to say to 'set them straight'. Instead, think cooling thoughts and remember times when you were getting along better with this person.

6) Stop taking it to heart

Argumentative people tend to take things personally, even when they certainly weren't intended that way. This leads to a breakdown in communication. If someone is very critical then either they have never learned a better way of communicating or they are so angry that they are over-generalizing out of control. Either way, it's their problem.

Practice taking time in your mind before you respond to people. Count to 10 and ask yourself, "How can I respond to this calmly, rising above it?" If you are too defensive, people eventually stop trying to communicate with you at all, because of the hassle.

The next tip surprises many people.

7) Keep a lid on it

Know when to button it, too. Contrary to popular thinking, being totally 'honest' by voicing every thought, always 'having everything out in the open', can be disastrous. Couples who have happily been together for decades have learned what not to talk about.

Learn to keep quiet about such things if you know someone gets upset when you criticize their mother or talk about how you passed your driving test at the first attempt and they didn't.

If you know where the minefield is, steer clear.

Here's something else to keep in mind: Research has shown that people who are able to apologize are more likely to be married and stay married than those who can never say, "Sorry."

And...keep your sense of humour. Knowing how to defuse arguments through humour is a great skill. If you can apologize and be humorously self-deprecating, so much the better.

So with all this in mind I crept, like some therapeutic ninja, out into the corridor and, mustering as much dignity as the hotel-issue dressing gown allowed, I hesitantly knocked on the rowing couple's door. After muffled mumbling, a large man, naked above the waist (it could have been worse), timidly opened said door.

"Hi," he said. "I'm so sorry, have we been keeping you awake?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, you have!"

"I promise we will stop arguing now," he assured me. "And all I can do is apologize on behalf of my wife. I really don't know what's got into her tonight!"

"So much for Tip #1!" I thought as I stumbled back to my room.

Some Prophetic Narrations of Muhammad (peace be upon him)

Once the Prophet (peace be upon him) was sitting with his Companions, and one person used insulting words against Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) causing him pain. But Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) remained silent. The person again used bitter words against Abu Bakr, and still Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) did not respond. The third time when this ignorant person hurt Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) with his tongue, Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) tried answering back.

At this point the Prophet (peace be upon him) got up. Abu Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with him) asked him, "Are you displeased with me, O Messenger of Allah?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied,

"No, but (when you remained silent) an angel came down from the heaven responding to this man's talk. But the moment you started replying to that man, the angel went away and the devil sat down. And I cannot sit where the devil is sitting." (Abu Dawud B41#4878)

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: 

"Whoever sought knowledge for the purpose of using it to compete with the learned or showing ability to be contentious with stupid people, or to draw people's attention to him, Allah will put him in hell."

(Authenticated by Al-Tirmidhī, through Ka'b Ibn Mālik)

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: ‏

"‏ أَنَا زَعِيمٌ بِبَيْتٍ فِي رَبَضِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْمِرَاءَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مُحِقًّا

وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي وَسَطِ الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ تَرَكَ الْكَذِبَ وَإِنْ كَانَ مَازِحًا

وَبِبَيْتٍ فِي أَعْلَى الْجَنَّةِ لِمَنْ حَسَّنَ خُلُقَهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Narrated AbuUmamah:
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling even if he were in the right, a house in the middle of Paradise for a man who avoids lying even if he were joking, and a house in the upper part of Paradise for a man who made his character good.

(Hasan, Sunan Abi Dawud)

Details

Category: Disciplining the Tongue

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Gossiping is spreading that which is supposed to be private and destroying the concealment of what others hate to have exposed.

A person must keep quiet about anything he sees or hears regarding the conditions of people except for that which if he relates it, it will be of benefit for a Muslim or will prevent a sin from occurring.

And he said:

"Anyone that has gossip (Nameemah) conveyed to him and it is said to him: "Such and such person said this about you." Then there are six things required from him:

1. He must not believe him because the one conveying the news is a gossiper (Nammaam) and the gossiper is a wicked person (Faasiq) so his reports are rejected.

2. He must forbid him from doing such, advise him and declare detestation towards his action.

3. He must hate his (gossiper's) action for the sake of Allaah for indeed his action is disliked in the sight of Allaah.

4. He must not have evil thoughts about the person who is said to have said such, based on Allaah's saying:

" اجتنبوا كثيرا من الظن Avoid much [negative] suspicion " (Soorah al Hujuraat : 12)

5. What has been related to you about someone should not cause you to spy or investigate further into the matter because Allaah says,

"ولا تجسسوا And do not spy on one another." ( Soorah al Hujuraat:12 )

6. He should not be over pleased with himself over what he forbade the gossiper. Thus he should not go to the one is supposed to have gossiped and report to the gossiper that which was conveyed to him by saying: "Such and such person told me this," for then he would become a gossiper himself and he would be committing that which he forbade another.

It has been reported that a man went to 'Umar bin Abd-il-'Azeez (رحمه الله تعالى) and said something to him about another person. So 'Umar said to him:

"If you wish we shall investigate your case. If you are lying then you are from those who fall under the ayah: " إن جاءكم فاسق بنبإ فتبينوا If a wicked person comes to you with news then verify it." (Soorah al Hujuraat: 6) and if you are telling the truth then you fall under the ayah: " هماز مشاء بنميم Backbiter going about spreading gossip." (Soorah al Qalam: 11) and if you wish we can overlook the matter."

So the man said: "Please overlook it, O Commander of the Believers, I will never mention it again!"

Source: From Imaam Aboo Zakariyya Yahya bin Sharaf an-Nawawee's "Al-Adhkaar" - Guarding the Tongue, Chapter "Concerning Gossip", p.32.