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Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control
{To Allaah belongs the Kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills. Verily, He is the All-Knower and is Able to do all things.} (Ash-Shoorah [42]:49-50)
The wives of Muhammad (sallallahu 'alyhi wa sallam) are often understood as examples for Muslim women to follow. When Muslim women are given models of performance they turn to these women to show piety, steadfastness, honesty and obedience. However what appears to be forgotten among many is that most Mothers of the believers would be defined as infertile today. Among these women are two who would be classified as having secondary infertility, both having children prior to their marrying Muhammad (sallallahu 'alyhi wa sallam). All others bearing no children at all. Let us take a look at these women.
Sawdaa': She... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 14 Dec 2009 Hits:751 I have been through six years of infertility; tubal surgery and hormone therapy for endometriosis. I now have four children maa shaa' Allah, daughters – one before all the trouble three after. In between I have had seven miscarriages, all at various stages from six weeks to four months. We have tried just about everything except IVF, which at my age (41) is no longer recommended.
I had hoped for just one more baby before it is too late, qadaar Allahu ma sha fa'al (it is the decree of Allah and He does as He wills). I guess it just was... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 14 Dec 2009 Hits:498 I married in July of 1996 after looking for a husband for three years. One of my main drives to marry was to have children, and my husband was also very eager to have children. I figured we would be blessed with a pregnancy shortly after we married, that is what everyone thought...
It was a year and a half later, still no pregnancy, that we finally decided to go see a doctor to find out what was wrong. By this time I knew something was definitely wrong, and I knew I had to get something done. I had already checked... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 14 Dec 2009 Hits:621 I am 33 years old, and I have a 2 1/2 year old child. I had absolutely no problems conceiving her, alhumdulliah (Praise is due to Allah). I nursed my daughter so that my period was delayed until 13 months after delivery. At that point, my husband and I decided that we would really like another child and so did nothing to prevent another pregnancy. I became pregnant again about 3 months later, but I did not know it, because that pregnancy was an ectopic one, and I had bleeding throughout the pregnancy. Finally, I was in so much pain... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 14 Dec 2009 Hits:561 Well I guess I thought like everyone else, you get married and have loads of babies. But, after 5 months of not conceiving you start to wonder a little... We had just moved to a new town so I had to find a new doctor and I finally found a female one. So I went to get my check-up and it turned out that she was a fertility specialist. Mind you, my intentions were simply to get a check-up.
The next thing I knew she said that I probably had endometriosis, so then I am thinking: what is that? She... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 14 Dec 2009 Hits:618 I married when I was young and had a child right away. The marriage was very bad and we were divorced when my son was two years old. I had been having problems with cysts and bleeding and because of the abusive marriage I asked the doctor to tie my tubes so I would not have any more children. The doctor didn’t want to because I was only 20 years old, but ultimately I prevailed and he did it. I didn’t know that I would meet a wonderful Muslim man 14 years later and want to have his child.... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 14 Dec 2009 Hits:628 I have been going through fertility treatments for the past 5 years and have been married for 8 years now. Maashaa' Allah, I have a 6 1/2 year old son. I became pregnant in 1993 with him with no treatments. Me and my husband wanted to have another child, so we used no contraceptives after my first pregnancy. I was given many tries with clomid, but it failed. In 1997, I went to my Ob/Gyne to seek help for my problem. She put me on clomid again. I took it for two month and wallah (By Allah), I was pregnant.... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 14 Dec 2009 Hits:484 When I learnt that I had fertility problems I was devastated. Now, I have learnt several things that have helped me to deal with this problem. Inshaa’ Allah (Allah willing), by sharing some of the things that have helped me, you too will find something that will work for you in coping with this fact of life.
Education
One of the most important things that I have found that worked for me is learning about my condition, as well as my options. This started with reading a lot and visiting the library often. There are many books on infertility in general as... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 14 Dec 2009 Hits:856 Adoption is one of the most common options for infertile couples. Many are too quick to say that adoption is Haraam (prohibited), which is true, without clarifying the great reward in looking after orphans. In fact the reality is that Allah (the Omnipotent) on many occasions calls for Muslims to take care of orphans,
{It is not piety that you turn your faces towards the east or west; but piety is the one who believes in Allah, the last day, the angels, the book, the Prophets, and gives his wealth, in spite of love for it, to the kinsfolk, to the... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 14 Dec 2009 Hits:438 It is difficult for those who are fertile to truly understand the impact that their words and actions have on infertile couples. Generally couples tend to take it for granted that they can produce a child easily and their comments to infertile couples reflects such thinking. There may not be any ill intent on the part of a fertile person when things are said to a woman or man treating infertility, but in many cases their words and actions cause large wounds.
Some sisters have been kind enough to share with me the most hurtful things their own sisters in Islaam... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 15 Dec 2009 Hits:438 The Qur'aan is true guidance for all mankind, complete and not lacking anything. It touches on every aspect of life, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that infertility is included within its vast array of subjects. The Qur'aaan teaches in many ways, showing us a glimpse of the lives of others before us.
There are two stories of infertility in Qur'aan which we should draw lessons and learn from. The first story is that of Ibrahim ('alyhissalaam) and his wife Sara (rahimaha Allah). The two main accounts of this story are given as follows.
{And his wife was standing (there)... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 15 Dec 2009 Hits:513
Allaah (the Mighty and Glorious) says, “I (Nooh) said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord, verily, He is Oft-Forgiving. He will send rain to you in abundance, and give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.’” [Nooh 71:10-12]
Al-Qurtubi (may Allah have mercy on him) said,
The words, “I said (to them): ‘Ask forgiveness from your Lord’” mean: ask Him for forgiveness of your previous sins with sincerity of faith.
“Verily, He is... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 03 Oct 2010 Hits:953 Over the past three years I have had a series of miscarriages...and I am currently recovering from my tenth, alhamdulillah. Why so many? Qadr Allah, mashaa fa'al. The only medical testing left to do is for chromosomal abnormalities; otherwise all the other tests show that there is nothing wrong with me, mashaa'Allah.
I think that Allah is ensuring I still qualify as a woman worth marrying, LOL, as He is proving at this middle stage of my life that I am perfectly fertile, mashaa'Allah. Of course, He is also giving us tests that we must respond to, react to, and... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 17 Sep 2011 Hits:249 The following is Sister. J Samia Mair's heart touching story as she finds motherhood in an unexpected place at the end of her battle to conceive.
Julie Samia Mair, JD, MPH is the author of two children’s books and a freelance writer. She has published fiction, nonfiction, and poetry in magazines, books, and scientific journals. Julie was born in the Philadelphia area and was raised as an atheist in a culturally Christian environment. As an adult, she investigated other religions, before converting to Islam in January 2001.
{The kingdom of the heavens and earth belongs to Allah. He creates whatever He wills.... Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control 09 Aug 2011 Hits:190'Infertility' Among The Mothers of the Believers
Sister Umm Rahmah's Personal Account
Sister Nzingha's Personal Account
Sister Karen's Personal Account
Sister Yusrah's Personal Account
Sister Darlena's Personal Account
Sister Shana's Personal Account
Coping with Infertility
Adoption
What I Just Wish They Wouldn't Say
Infertility as Mentioned the Qur'aan
Allah's Forgiveness and the Blessing of Children
Miscarriage Number 10
Barren but Blessed
Infertility, Miscarriages and Birth Control